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Chris Seaton has died

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Re: Chris Seaton has died

#61

Post by adamc »

leetrout wrote: post #7

Please talk to someone if you are feeling hopeless. U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-TALK (8255) National Suicide Helpline UK 0800 689 5652 His HN profile was also just his name https://news.ycombinator.com/user?id=chrisseaton I wish the best for his family and friends over the next few months. This will be a tough holiday season for them. You never know what is going on in someone's life and no clue…

Having been on the other end of it... the reality is harsh. People say they want to know, but in fact... they mostly don't. The reality of it is hard to deal with. It can go on and on.

People have a lot of misconceptions, sometimes for good reasons (it makes life easier to endure). It's a lot like the pushback on #metoo or #blacklivesmatter or . They want to make it your fault because then its not something they have to think about.

I think depression is mostly orthogonal to where you work, although stress may make it worse.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#62

Post by themaninthedark »

Lio wrote: post #45
OJFord wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I do think it's interesting that it's so widely stigmatised (illegal even) though: like we've collectively decided life is meaningful and must be lived to the best of your ability, deciding there's nothing in it for you and you don't want to take part is not (with very niche old-age && ill-health exception) allowed. Weird, when you step back and think about it isn't it? If you're agnostic/atheist at least.

I would speculate that the societal stigmatisation of suicide is a form of social "guard-rails" that might keep someone from stepping to far in the wrong direction during a moment of weakness. It might be the last thing that saves them when they are not in their right mind and have lost all hope and perspective. In that moment anything that can be done to protect them should be done because there is always hope, even…

One of the things I often hear said about people who attempt suicide but fail by jumping is that they have a moment of clarity on the way down that their problems are not a big deal and are solvable except the current one of imminent death.

Not sure if this is true in all cases and what the outcome for these people is after time passes, do they still feel depressed or are things better for them.

But, if that is the general experience, then it makes sense for society to stigmatize the action.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#63

Post by [deleted] »

kshahkshah wrote: post #20

My god this is awful. He was brilliant, accomplished, and kind. A few days ago he announced his 'permanent rest' ( https://twitter.com/ChrisGSeaton/status/1599108759183577088 ). I'd thought it meant from the Ruby community and that the replies asking if he needed help were reading too much into the wording.

[deleted]

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#64

Post by petercooper »

orra wrote: post #22
adwn wrote: post #15

Really unsettling to think that just 4 days ago, right before his death, he was still posting here on HN. [1] [1] https://news.ycombinator.com/threads?id=chrisseaton

It's a shock, yes, but worth knowing it's a common one. “They can't be dead: I just spoke to them” is a common response to death. Unfortunately, death can be rather sudden.

I find the statistics surrounding death to be quite sobering. I was at an annual event with 1000 other people and for whatever reason got to wondering if everyone would return the next year. Being a nerd, some calculations occurred and it turned out that would be pretty much impossible as at least a few attendees would die (of any cause) before then. It's rather stoic but makes me appreciate things a little more.

The Ruby community has lost some fantastic people. Chris, Jason Seifer, Steven Bristol, Jim Weirich, James Golick, and Ezra Zygmuntowicz all come to mind. RIP.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#65

Post by paufernandez »

swader999 wrote: post #50
kshahkshah wrote: post #20

My god this is awful. He was brilliant, accomplished, and kind. A few days ago he announced his 'permanent rest' ( https://twitter.com/ChrisGSeaton/status/1599108759183577088 ). I'd thought it meant from the Ruby community and that the replies asking if he needed help were reading too much into the wording.

The outpouring of love in the replies on that thread. It is tough to comprehend how that wasn't enough to prevent this.

The depressed sees the same events quite differently, that's why it is so difficult to understand for many people (I can though).

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#67

Post by swader999 »

paufernandez wrote: post #65
swader999 wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The outpouring of love in the replies on that thread. It is tough to comprehend how that wasn't enough to prevent this.

The depressed sees the same events quite differently, that's why it is so difficult to understand for many people (I can though).

Right, I've read that for them its not even seen as making a choice. Earth is too freaking hard sometimes.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#68

Post by silisili »

adamc wrote: post #61
leetrout wrote: post #7

Please talk to someone if you are feeling hopeless. U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-TALK (8255) National Suicide Helpline UK 0800 689 5652 His HN profile was also just his name https://news.ycombinator.com/user?id=chrisseaton I wish the best for his family and friends over the next few months. This will be a tough holiday season for them. You never know what is going on in someone's life and no clue…

Having been on the other end of it... the reality is harsh. People say they want to know, but in fact... they mostly don't. The reality of it is hard to deal with. It can go on and on. People have a lot of misconceptions, sometimes for good reasons (it makes life easier to endure). It's a lot like the pushback on #metoo or #blacklivesmatter or . They want to make it your fault because then its not something they have…

I agree with this. Someone reaching out because they have a problem or need someone to talk to is perfectly welcomed. Someone who does so daily becomes a big f'ing drag on your life, pardon the expression.

My father did that to us kids after divorce, and our relationship has never been the same.

(For those curious, he didn't hurt himself, just became an angry, sad, drunk yearslong drag on us all).

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#69

Post by WhackyIdeas »

starkd wrote: post #38
WhackyIdeas wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But if you have been feeling that way for many years, with non-stop feelings of dread, it’s hard to see things getting any better.

I suspect that is very seldom the case. Depression is cyclical. There are moments of joy and content. I think it speaks to a loss of hope in society at large.

There are moments of joy and content, but for myself I always personally know that hell is just over the hill. Doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy things. But I suppose there comes a time when some people just get too tired of it all. I also personally believe the act of taking your own life is utterly courageous… every cell in our body’s are designed to want to live. Pushing fast fear of the ultimate unknown is something else. And anyone out there who says crap like “the cowards way out” is an absolute pea brain in my eyes.
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