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Friendship Forever

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Re: Friendship Forever

#61

Post by mccorrinall »

n4r9 wrote: post #59
mccorrinall wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would have never called them friends in the first place. I have a strict line between friends and acquaintances. Friends are those relationships which I made during childhood. I still keep those relationships up. We have a much stronger bond through the stuff we have been through together. I think friendship needs very strong loyality which is just not given in a normal work environment. Eg I’d never lie in court f…

Does this mean you don't think it likely/possible to make new friends as an adult?

I am unsure whether I think this, but I haven’t found new friends since I left school.

I am 25.

Re: Friendship Forever

#63

Post by watwut »

TranquilMarmot wrote: post #30

The part about remote work removing a driving force for friendships hit me pretty hard. In February of 2020, I had a dozen or so really close friends that I would see every day. We would laugh together, get food together, and work on hard problems together. In March of 2020, we all started working remotely and I haven't seen any of them since. Even if I wanted to, almost all of them have moved to other cities, states…

Those people were bound to cease to be friends the moment either of you changes the job. If your crisis is after or relates to loosing a job (due to being sick for long time for example or due to staying at home with a small/sick child for some time), those friendships were bound to break.

Re: Friendship Forever

#64

Post by annyeonghada »

zwkrt wrote: post #10
fruit2020 wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Even going to a pub with a friend and I get strange looks. 2 straight guys having some beers. I guess gayness ruined the rainbow for everybody else.

Let’s be clear homophobia (with a root in misogyny)“ruined the rainbow” for everybody else. The only funny looks you’re getting are from close minded people. And it’s only ruined for you (the hypothetical you, not making assumptions) because of your own shame in potentially being perceived as gay by others.

>with a root in misogyny

Nice thing for women to appropriate themselves of the suffering of gay men.

Re: Friendship Forever

#65

Post by simonebrunozzi »

It is still very common in many parts of India, or even in Indian quarters in places like Singapore, to see young male Indians hold hands.

I didn't find it odd at all. I actually thought, what a pity that in western societies this behavior can be seen as odd.

Re: Friendship Forever

#66

Post by antihero »

TranquilMarmot wrote: post #30

The part about remote work removing a driving force for friendships hit me pretty hard. In February of 2020, I had a dozen or so really close friends that I would see every day. We would laugh together, get food together, and work on hard problems together. In March of 2020, we all started working remotely and I haven't seen any of them since. Even if I wanted to, almost all of them have moved to other cities, states…

I really wouldn’t worry about COVID this much.

Re: Friendship Forever

#67

Post by 1vuio0pswjnm7 »

mccorrinall wrote: post #56
TranquilMarmot wrote: post #30

The part about remote work removing a driving force for friendships hit me pretty hard. In February of 2020, I had a dozen or so really close friends that I would see every day. We would laugh together, get food together, and work on hard problems together. In March of 2020, we all started working remotely and I haven't seen any of them since. Even if I wanted to, almost all of them have moved to other cities, states…

I would have never called them friends in the first place. I have a strict line between friends and acquaintances. Friends are those relationships which I made during childhood. I still keep those relationships up. We have a much stronger bond through the stuff we have been through together. I think friendship needs very strong loyality which is just not given in a normal work environment. Eg I’d never lie in court f…

"Eg. I'd never lie in court for my acquaintances, but I have for my friends."

You have lied in court. Is this correct. How do we know you are telling us the truth.

Re: Friendship Forever

#68

Post by feet »

1vuio0pswjnm7 wrote: post #67
mccorrinall wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would have never called them friends in the first place. I have a strict line between friends and acquaintances. Friends are those relationships which I made during childhood. I still keep those relationships up. We have a much stronger bond through the stuff we have been through together. I think friendship needs very strong loyality which is just not given in a normal work environment. Eg I’d never lie in court f…

"Eg. I'd never lie in court for my acquaintances, but I have for my friends." You have lied in court. Is this correct. How do we know you are telling us the truth.

Just assume everyone always lies on the internet

Re: Friendship Forever

#69

Post by SamoyedFurFluff »

zwkrt wrote: post #42
TranquilMarmot wrote: post #30

The part about remote work removing a driving force for friendships hit me pretty hard. In February of 2020, I had a dozen or so really close friends that I would see every day. We would laugh together, get food together, and work on hard problems together. In March of 2020, we all started working remotely and I haven't seen any of them since. Even if I wanted to, almost all of them have moved to other cities, states…

> getting sick is not worth having a friend Everyone has their own risk analysis. My analysis is that this is totally out of whack. Covid will be around longer than you’ll be alive. Make a friend it won’t kill you. What really gets me though I know people with your level of risk aversion* who force their developing kids into lockdown. I think the cohort born ~2014-2018 are really gonna be an odd bunch. * partial risk…

I think you skipped over “to me” before your quoted text. This tells me they might have some personal reason for their aversion besides aversion itself that makes total sense. Maybe they are a diabetic, cancer survivor, organ donor recipient, or have some other immune-related condition. I’m not a particularly social person and I know plenty of friends I haven’t been able to see without extra precautions because of this. Collectively the number of folks who are vulnerable to Covid from a pre-existing condition is a fairly significant size of the population. Maybe consider this?

Re: Friendship Forever

#70

Post by GuB-42 »

mccorrinall wrote: post #61
n4r9 wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Does this mean you don't think it likely/possible to make new friends as an adult?

I am unsure whether I think this, but I haven’t found new friends since I left school. I am 25.

Personally, for most of my closest friends, I made them at around you age (I am 40).

The reason is simple: I moved when I was 23, to a place where I didn't know anyone. I met people there, we did stuff together, often, because I was very available, because I didn't yet have other people to spend time with, and now we are friends.

If you already have an established group of friends, you are probably less available to make new ones. But if you find yourself in a situation where distance is created, that's when you are the most available to make new friends.

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