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Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

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Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#61

Post by throwaway8383d »

bluebus wrote: post #49

Two things slightly related: 1. Doing a job as a model when I was very young (17) in which I was sexually abused. 2. Not going to university After first, I got totally lost and torture myself. A lot. I didn't put priorities in order nor seek for help. I wasted a lot of time doing shitty jobs for having some money, having terrible relationships and doing sports heavily to keep me distracted until one day I decided it…

Thank you for sharing your deeply personal experience, I’m sorry to read you’ve been through that.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#62

Post by cosmodisk »

ChuckNorris89 wrote: post #26
cosmodisk wrote: post #7

That I haven't punched a few people in the face when I should have.

Be careful with this regret. In my country you can go to jail if you punch people and harm them, even in self defense. Running away from fights is a better deal than having a police record.

I could go to jail in my country for stuff like this. I'm not going to punch anyone, but it would have been nice at the time:)

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#63

Post by 6stringmerc »

JetAlone wrote: post #6

For any thing I might wish had been different, there was a reason, whether I know it or not, that I did something that looks bad. I've become more able to accept my past even though things look quite bleak to me these days. In that past I learned some things that give me ideas of what I want to do now, and I'm grateful for that.

Recently I’ve told those close to me “any decision with enough hindsight can be seen as good or bad” - like we wanted to sell some Pixar Cars play sets a while ago but never got around to it in a year or so.

This week Disney+ just debuted Cars: On the Road a series and now they are popular again here at home. Went out and got them cleaned up and back in action. So failed at the sale goal for over a year, then they failure turned into a convenient win that was unforeseen cuz I had no idea a new Cars bit was coming.

I did get a hint at the grocery store though when I saw a new die cast character. Some kinda rusty monster truck. Yes…I am trying to collect them all…

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#64

Post by austinjp »

bluebus wrote: post #49

Two things slightly related: 1. Doing a job as a model when I was very young (17) in which I was sexually abused. 2. Not going to university After first, I got totally lost and torture myself. A lot. I didn't put priorities in order nor seek for help. I wasted a lot of time doing shitty jobs for having some money, having terrible relationships and doing sports heavily to keep me distracted until one day I decided it…

Sounds like a really shitty experience. Just a reminder of something which you know anyway: it's the perpetrator's fault, not yours. I guess I want to say something trite like "don't hang onto regret (or what feels like it) for someone else's actions" but I realise that's way simplistic. It seems that you were just living your life, working a job. That's normal, and (again overly trite, apologies) nothing to regret.

Best wishes!!

Edit: On re-reading what I wrote, it might seem that I'm saying you don't have the right to feel regret. Not my intention, sorry if it reads that way. It feels, though, that you shouldn't have to feel regret for living a normal life with normal decisions.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#65

Post by cosmodisk »

rookiemistakes wrote: post #29

Last week, actually. Was a bit careless and inebriated while working on a demo and suddenly I realized I had luksFormatted the luks partition holding the only copy of keys for cryptocurrency worth ~$200k. That was a sizable fraction if my supposed net worth. Either I'm still in denial or I've risen above obsessive materialism as it doesn't affect me too much so far, though. Its just money. Unplugged the drive and hav…

Depending on how you did it, the data could still be recoverable.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#66

Post by user_7832 »

To anyone full of regret, I'd just like to give a quote by Marcus Aurelius (a Roman Emperor and stoic philosopher)

Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now take what's left and live it properly.

Life likely hasn't been perfect for almost anyone, but would you rather die right now (with likely unfinished desires, wishes and more regrets) or would you try to make the best use of what you have?

(It may be a bit difficult to fully live as per the quote even if you're already familiar with stoicism - it's quite hard for me too - but something that sometimes helps me is to literally visualize yourself dead as of now.

Maybe a stroke.

Would you be happy?

If not, you should do something about it.)

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#67

Post by jonasdegendt »

atdrummond wrote: post #35
rookiemistakes wrote: post #29

Last week, actually. Was a bit careless and inebriated while working on a demo and suddenly I realized I had luksFormatted the luks partition holding the only copy of keys for cryptocurrency worth ~$200k. That was a sizable fraction if my supposed net worth. Either I'm still in denial or I've risen above obsessive materialism as it doesn't affect me too much so far, though. Its just money. Unplugged the drive and hav…

If it makes you feel better I lost the keys to Bitcoin worth a few orders of magnitude more. Life does go on.

Same here, lost the keys to a sizeable wallet that was god knows how big at one point, I stopped checking a while ago but it was a good exercise in letting go and learning to value other things. I can't complain, most of my regrets are related to how I spent or wasted money, there's worse things and life went on to turn out great regardless of my net worth.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#68

Post by 6stringmerc »

It’s not a regret but would’ve been a different life path - in 2003 I let people talk me out of pursuing Intellectual Property Law because of my interests in music and technology intersecting with the law - and the reason they cited? There’s no money in IP law.

Right, the folks working in Texarkana on Federal cases for Samsung and the like drive used Hyundai minivans and buy ramen in bulk these days /s.

Pretty glad I didn’t go that route though because deep down I love competition, cocaine, and strippers. About as much of a 180 from present day me.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#69

Post by ben30 »

ChuckNorris89 wrote: post #37
ben30 wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’ve been a software engineer for many years, I stick at it because I enjoy it. Paying well is secondary. It requires a lot of focus, but the enjoyment of solving problems and being creative, is what drives me, not financial. That’s why I still do it. If you can find that enjoyment, don’t worry about not catching up, it will come. I read the number of developer jobs doubles every 5 years. So with 5 years experience y…

>I read the number of developer jobs doubles every 5 years Is there any indication this will go on forever? Moore's law is also dead. At one point "software is eating the world" will also come to an end. In my city it's already more difficult to find a plumber than to find an app/web developer.

well, nothing is certain. My point was, starting is better than not starting and regretting that you are too late to start. Deciding what to start is the question.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#70

Post by suranyami »

Not leaving a destructive relationship sooner. Twice.

The second one was the worst. I've since observed that behaviour in other couples, mostly with the men, but almost as frequently with the women that make the partner's feeling of self-worth completely revolve around them.

It's toxic, left me with severe depression that is still an issue today. There is a certain type of internal self-talk that becomes a self-reinforcing mania and starts with the simplest triggers and ends up with a feeling of loathing that can happen any time. It's dangerous and can lead to thoughts of suicide. This was in my early 30s, and I'm now in my late 50s and I can't believe I still have these things to deal with.

Best advice I can think of is a quote from William Burroughs:

"If, after being in the presence of a certain person, you feel like you've lost a quart of plasma, avoid that person."

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