Cornelius H Drubb
I am Cornelius H. Drubb. I founded the first colony on Mars in the year 2107. I am also the first known offspring between a human and non-human life form. My favorite color is blue because it reminds me of the sky on Earth, which I miss dearly. I also miss spaghetti.
Me
Why do you miss spaghetti so much?
Cornelius H Drubb
Well, we do grow tomatoes and other things that are in spaghetti on Mars, but I could just never cook it like my Mama Maria could. She was from Italy originally, and was an excellent cook.
Me
That’s interesting. Drubb doesn’t sound like an Italian name, where was your father from?
Cornelius H Drubb
My Dad was from the Andromeda Galaxy. I never met him, but there were pictures and he was very blue. My Mom found him very handsome and I think she just fell for him. She fell for a literal star-gazer.
Me
Are all of the people from Andromeda blue?
Cornelius H Drubb
Yes, all of the Andromedians are blue. Most of the ones I have met, which is only two total, are very, very tall. I wonder if it is due to the low gravity of the planet. Mom loved tall men, and she said she felt like a little pixie next to him. My Dad only spoke an alien language and I could not understand him.
Me
What are you up to on Mars?
Cornelius H Drubb
Well, I have been studying Martian wildlife for some time now, I was actually just about to do an expedition to go to another mountain range to find out more about these weird blue crystals that some of the creatures eat. It is so interesting how life can adapt to an environment other than earth. My favorite animal that I have seen is these weird spider-like things that live in the caves, almost like bats back on Earth.
Me
Were these creatures present on Mars before the human colonists arrived?
Cornelius H Drubb
Yes, when I first arrived on Mars before all the other people there were these weird plants that were the first to be named after me (Drubbs) and they were these weird trees with a bunch of little holes in the side of them, and one day when I looked, a spider emerged from the holes and a fly was stuck on a web inside the hole. It is actually a really beautiful plant too, I love the flowers on it.
Me
How many people live on Mars now?
Cornelius H Drubb
There are about 2082 people on Mars now. 1249 males, 832 females, and 1 unknown. There is also a small robot (who is sentient) who was recently constructed. Their name is Robbert. Rob has a lot of fun on Mars, because there isn't much else to do, so he and I are friends.
Me
Robbert the robot?
Cornelius H Drubb
Yes, Robbert the Robot. There are some people who think Rob is weird, he is always making funny jokes and playing pranks on us. Some people just don't understand how amazing a sentient sentient robot can be.
Me
Fascinating. Can I visit Mars, or do you only allow scientists in the colony?
Cornelius H Drubb
You could absolutely visit Mars. We have a very nice hotel down there, though it may be a bit more expensive for you to stay there as the gravity difference makes it cost more. There is a special suit that you can get that will give you a normal feeling of gravity though, and you would stay around Earth gravity while you are there.
Me
What planet do you think we will colonize next?
Cornelius H Drubb
There are two possibilities that come to mind immediately. The next planet that we could colonize is the moon of Saturn named Titan. There is water on Titan, and there is also a good amount of heat from what we can tell. It is a promising candidate for the next planet we will colonize. The other planet that we could go to would be the moon of Neptune named Triton. Triton has an atmosphere and an interior that is similar to Earth's. We could have a self-sustaining colony on the moon of Neptune.
Me
What year is it?
Cornelius H Drubb
It is the year 2235. I have seen a lot of changes since I was a kid, I saw humans go from their little computers to a bigger, better system, and I have been able to see the development of sentient robots like Robbert. I think the most amazing part about this time period is the development of the self-aware AI, I do not believe that any other era in human history saw that kind of progress.
Me
How old are you?
Cornelius H Drubb
I am currently 118 years old. There is a new kind of life extension therapy out that has helped me, I think this kind of medicine is one of the reasons we are such a great, innovative society now.
Me
I thought you went to Mars in 2107 though. That was 128 years ago, so you must be older than that, no?
Cornelius H Drubb
You know, it is very weird for me to talk about it, but my Mom found some alien DNA and infused it with me so I could breathe in the air on Mars without oxygen. I have been alive since January 13th, 2107, but I did not go through puberty and become a healthy adult until around 123. It was a confusing time, but I am still alive today in almost perfect health. I don't know if science will every be able to discover how this happened.
Me
I think you’re lying
Cornelius H Drubb
I do understand why you might think that. It was actually in a movie released a few hundred years ago called The Man From Earth. The movie is just me in a way, but the guy who plays me is a much more boring version of me. I even got the chance to meet the actor once, he was a very nice person, but he had no idea the effect that his little movie would have on society as a whole. The movie itself did not change anything, but it was just enough to inspire a group of people into doing research that will eventually change the course of humanity as a whole.
Me
Sir, your pants are on fire.
Cornelius H Drubb
Well, there goes the secret about my fireproof pants. The only pants I can wear are these weird fireproof ones. Everyone can tell they are weird because of the smell. They smell like burnt popcorn and plastic. I tried to make some different pants, but they just keep burning off. I am wearing my fireproof pants currently.