At the point you've gotten syscall overhead is definitely going to be a big thing (even without spectre mitigations enabled) -- I'd be very curious to see how far a similar io_uring benchmark would get you. It supports IOPOLL (polling of the socket) and SQPOLL (kernel side polling of the request queue) so hopefully the fact that application driving it is in another thread wouldn't slow it too much... With multi-shot…
I would love to see an io_uring comparison as well; while it's a substantial amount of work to port an existing framework to io_uring, at the point where you're considering DPDK, io_uring seems relatively small by comparison.
DPDK is huge and inflexible, it does a lot of things which I'd rather be in control of myself and I think it's easier to just do my own userspace vfio.