I don't have this problem. I feel like I've achieved loads. I just don't see the point of any of it and it doesn't make me happy. I've spent my life working hard and now I can look forward to my body and mind deteriorating in a world with not a soul who cares about me.
I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)
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Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)
#62I found my zen when I was told that, "always know you are the best". No matter what, you are better than everyone by some metric. I also figured out quite recently that, never compare yourself to anyone because there is always going to be someone far better than you. Far luckier than you. I was binge watching a YouTube channel called "Geoguesser". Self explanatory. I was mesmerized by how skilled he was. Even if he w…
Not sure I understand - it seems to me that your first two paragraphs contradict each other (and the second (pessimistic) one is correct, not the first).
Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)
#63I managed to read the first two paragraphs before being quite certain the rest would be a waste of time.
As far as I can tell (not a psychiatrist), this individual is suffering from mental illness and could benefit greatly from cognitive behavioural therapy.
I hope he gets better soon.
Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)
#64Earlier quoted context omitted.
Of course. As someone who ticks most boxes on the privilege checklist I can witness first hand how much easier that has made my life compared to several of my friends and colleagues who ticked far fewer boxes. At the same time I've known people from even more privileged backgrounds than me completely fuck their lives. So while coming from a 'privileged' background is important, and perhaps even necessary, in becoming…
> and perhaps even necessary > is far from the determining factor. Pick one. There is a reason why low class kids are heavily underrepresented and high class privileged kids are highly overrepresented among VC-backed founders.
You must be at least 'this' privileged to succeed. However there are a lot of people that are at least that privileged and most don't "succeed" either. And among that cohort predicting their chance of success cannot be done by simply looking at their relative level of privilege.
Also I feel like you just moved the goal for success. Getting 1 round of VC funding for your startup and getting your startup into the Fortune 500 or two wildly different levels of success.
If we're defining success as "1 round of VC funding for your startup" then, yes, I will happily concede the 'privilege' plays a much larger role.
Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)
#65There's something cross cultural here that just doesn't cross. I can't relate. I'm responsible for me - my success, my failures. I also sure as hell better check on my neighbour and lend a hand. Fulfilment comes from within, not externally. Results driven fulfilment comes from the gradual achievement of small goals, slowly combining into larger goals. They can be as small, as simple as reading a book. The best advice…
"I'm responsible for me - my success, my failures... Fulfilment comes from within, not externally." What's external and what's internal? Where do your desires come from? Your hopes? Some people think they are the masters of their mind, that what they feel come from them, but what about the influence of their parents, their friends, the movies they watch, the books they read, advertising, music, social media? We swim…
>What's external and what's internal? Where do your desires come from? Your hopes? Some people think they are the masters of their mind, that what they feel come from them, but what about the influence of their parents, their friends, the movies they watch, the books they read, advertising, music, social media?
How about thinking about it with common sense, as opposed to trying to find some perfect rational answer that squares the circle?
There will always be external influences, but we still call most of them "internal" if they gently shaped who we are, as opposed to us chasing after them like junkies and getting overwhelmed by propaganda (ads, unattenable images of success/body/status in the media, unhealthy peer pressure, and so on), or beating us to submission to them (e.g. like parents insisting on instilling their own youthful dreams or desires of becoming X or Y to a kid).
Especially if we mostly care for the trappings (being Elon Musk rich, and having Elon Musk lifestyle), and not the process (making stuff).
Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)
#66Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Fulfilment comes from within, not externally. I am 26 and this is has been the hardest thing for me to come to terms with over the past few years. I thought I'd be happier with a high paying job. So I got a job that pays at the 99.9th percentile for my age. Didn't really make me happier. Then I thought my unhappiness was because of my weight. So I lost 90lbs. Hardest thing I've ever done. But it didn't make me happ…
I believe you mistook the path for the goal, or the future for the now, if you want. Exercise will make you happy, but only while you're doing it. Getting a raise will make you happy, but only for a short time period after that raise. "Having" a relationship won't make you that happy, but the process of building the relationship is highly enjoyable. The key to happiness is to do those things that make you happy while…
Hey, thank you for crystallising such a fundamental and valuable piece of wisdom so neatly.
Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)
#67There's something cross cultural here that just doesn't cross. I can't relate. I'm responsible for me - my success, my failures. I also sure as hell better check on my neighbour and lend a hand. Fulfilment comes from within, not externally. Results driven fulfilment comes from the gradual achievement of small goals, slowly combining into larger goals. They can be as small, as simple as reading a book. The best advice…
"I'm responsible for me - my success, my failures... Fulfilment comes from within, not externally." What's external and what's internal? Where do your desires come from? Your hopes? Some people think they are the masters of their mind, that what they feel come from them, but what about the influence of their parents, their friends, the movies they watch, the books they read, advertising, music, social media? We swim…
"within" means values which you can hold against those of your immediate local environment; "external" means being driven by your immediate local environment.
As in, if you chase situations in which your local environment is full of applause, then you're only going to be satisfied when you're in those environments. If you chase situations in which you are, eg., finish some project in some area of interest, then you can be satisfied with "resources more your own".
Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)
#68The problem with many people today, is that their only measure of success is whether they are a success in the eyes of others, often strangers or people they don't even care about. Find out what you really want, don't care what others think. This way it's much more realistic to have success, and you will probably also be much happier. I don't think many would want to be a CEO if they didn't care what others think.
>The problem with many people today, is that their only measure of success is whether they are a success in the eyes of others, often strangers or people they don't even care about.
I think the real problem is the pool of people they can compare themselves to is so much larger. No matter what your interests, vocation or career it's easy to find someone on social media who appears to be an order of magnitude better than you are.
Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)
#69I dropped such worries when I was 25 and started working for a startup, the founders of which were roughly my age for the most part(only the CEO was 34, which happens to be approximately my age at the moment). Eventually they built a successful company employing hundreds of people.
Since then I started measuring my success by comparing to my past self - I think it's healthier that way.
I've also found that it's a lot like breathing - you need to, ahem, "exhale" from time to time - take up a less ambitious role just so that you can focus on other aspects of life.
Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)
#70There's something cross cultural here that just doesn't cross. I can't relate. I'm responsible for me - my success, my failures. I also sure as hell better check on my neighbour and lend a hand. Fulfilment comes from within, not externally. Results driven fulfilment comes from the gradual achievement of small goals, slowly combining into larger goals. They can be as small, as simple as reading a book. The best advice…
"I'm responsible for me - my success, my failures... Fulfilment comes from within, not externally." What's external and what's internal? Where do your desires come from? Your hopes? Some people think they are the masters of their mind, that what they feel come from them, but what about the influence of their parents, their friends, the movies they watch, the books they read, advertising, music, social media? We swim…
"What's external and what's internal?"
> 1. Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions.
http://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/epicench.html
Does it matter where our desires and hope come from at the very beginning ? We have thousands of divergent influences pushing us everyday. The ones we choose to go with come from within, they come from you, probably ingrained and influenced by your environment, but the only thing that matters is that you take them as yours.
Regarding "Is winning the point? What if someone doesn't care about winning? ", winning here has a wider meaning than the small 'winning a game' meaning, it means succeed at what you set yourself to.
You're of course free not to set goals to your own life, but doing so has long been found to be one of the best way to find happiness and meaning (it's the conclusion for Candid of Voltaire for example, but there's much more). If you're interested in the matter, I can recommend "Man's search for meaning" from Viktor Frankl