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Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

dontasktoask.com

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Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#61

Post by danaris »

baliex wrote: post #56
alecbz wrote: post #45

> ..which is just lazy. If you're not willing to do the work to solve your problem, why should we? Eh, don't think I agree here. The initial ask is low-effort but so is the initial response expected ("I could help, what's up?"). It seems fair to want to aim for something like: A: low effort ask B: low effort response A: high effort ask now that you know someone's listening B: high effort response to avoid things like…

I disagree with a "high effort ask" being a wasted effort if no-one's around. Just because no-one's around now doesn't mean someone won't be around later. And writing down your thoughts can often be enough to crystalise your thinking to the point of having a new idea about a solution. So, you've either solved your problem for yourself, or you can share it with the person that does help in the end. If you're asking fo…

Furthermore, once you've written it out once...you can copy and paste that to ask someone else later, if you don't get a response!

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#62

Post by zajio1am »

thenerdhead wrote: post #28

This advice applies best in business settings. Business is transactional and it's very rare that someone wants to "get to know you". Those who do, will let you know by getting more involved or talking to you outside of these types of requests, not just out of the blue. I'm a huge fan of no hello & "just ask" in our future world of async work. https://sbmueller.github.io/nohello/

> I'm a huge fan of no hello & "just ask" in our future world of async work.

That is just a conflict between people who prefer async and who prefer sync communication. For sync communication, "hello" and "bye" are just markers for begin and end of a session, with implicit expectation that people focus on the session in between.

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#63

Post by kashyapc »

This is also sometimes called a "naked ping"[1]:

   Alice: Ping

   Bob: Pong?

   Alice: Can I talk to you now? I have a question.

    [LONG SILENCE...]

   Bob: Sure. (Inside Alice's head: "Sigh, please ask the question, already!")

    [Again, in some cases, this is followed by a LONG SILENCE...]

   Alice: A vague question with not much details.
Now, imagine what a test of sanity it becomes if it happens several times throughout the day, week, month.

Note, though: I don't mind "naked pings" myself; they don't bother me much. But I of course appreciate "fully dressed up pings".

[1] https://fedoraproject.org/wiki/No_naked_pings

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#64

Post by MaxBorsch228 »

I agree such meta-questions are annoying. However, I saw many times a situation when a new guy joins some Telegram chat and asks a question, only to get an avalanche of angry and overreacting "go read nometa.xyz a hundred times" replies. Of course the guy never writes to this hostile chat again: he did noting bad but was treated like a piece of shit. And it's always the same people complaining, most of chat members just don't care.

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#65

Post by Forricide »

danaris wrote: post #61
baliex wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I disagree with a "high effort ask" being a wasted effort if no-one's around. Just because no-one's around now doesn't mean someone won't be around later. And writing down your thoughts can often be enough to crystalise your thinking to the point of having a new idea about a solution. So, you've either solved your problem for yourself, or you can share it with the person that does help in the end. If you're asking fo…

Furthermore, once you've written it out once...you can copy and paste that to ask someone else later, if you don't get a response!

Yep, this is what I do! If I have a complicated issue and Google won't solve it, I'll write up a clear, context-inclusive explanation of the issue and what I'm looking for, then paste it into a couple different groups. Usually, if Google can't help, it's too specific of a problem for it to be likely that a tech help group can solve it also - but sometimes it works, or people have other ideas.

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#66

Post by mabbo »

I feel like the author is not highly aware of social norms, nor how they change depending on context, culture, and confidence.

Many inexperienced users- the kind who often need help the most- are coming from a place of low confidence. They don't even know if this is the right place to ask this question. They don't even know if they're asking the right question. That's the nature of being inexperienced. I'm glad they're cautious and trying to be polite!

If you don't want to help such people, don't lurk in channels designed for helping people.

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#68

Post by nineplay »

I'll blame stackoverflow. It's lead us to believe that anything but a precise, specific questions with clear use cases and previous attempt is going to get scolded for not meeting the guidelines.

It takes time to formulate a good tech question. "Why isn't my API getting called" is a easy question to ask but not likely to get much feedback. "Why isn't my API getting called I'm using library and callback and routing framework and I've already read the documentation which says should work?" is a better question but harder to formulate. It's not surprising that someone wants to check to see if there's anyone in the void willing to answer first.

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#70

Post by lmilcin »

nineplay wrote: post #68

I'll blame stackoverflow. It's lead us to believe that anything but a precise, specific questions with clear use cases and previous attempt is going to get scolded for not meeting the guidelines. It takes time to formulate a good tech question. "Why isn't my API getting called" is a easy question to ask but not likely to get much feedback. "Why isn't my API getting called I'm using library and callback and routing fr…

The problem has been present basically forever. Well before stackoverflow.
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