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How to get the most out of your 1:1s

erik.wiffin.com

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Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#61

Post by rramadass »

ajb wrote: post #11
kqr wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree with you that if the worker wants to turn it into a status update, they should be allowed to. However... why do they feel like turning it into a status update? Is it because the manager isn't sufficiently looped in to what's happening on a daily basis?

A significant fraction of engineers, often the ones who are most deep into their work, have a tendency to just do a brain dump of what they're working on, just because that's what they've currently assembled in their heads. It isn't necessarily useful in a 1:1 but it seems almost involuntary, so I'm not sure it's good to stop them before they've gone through it. May just have to allocate more time to allow them to ge…

Right. Set a time limit but not an agenda. Let them be free to tell you anything even if you think it is unnecessary. They key is to build psychological rapport so that gradually he/she feels more comfortable to open up and start Trusting you.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#63

Post by tiew9Vii »

dustymcp wrote: post #41
Negitivefrags wrote: post #39

The idea of a monthly one on one scheduled meeting is rediculous. If you are not talking to all your people every day as a matter of course, they are basically unmanaged. For the love of god don't schedule any meetings. You shouldn't need to since you are just part of your employees flow of work. The employee / manager relationship should be one in which either party can feel free to just raise any concern the moment…

This forced 1:1 is the worst..

Agreed.

If I have an issue, I’ll go speak to who I need to when I have an issue.

Maybe it’s because I’m introverted, a person of few words and no nonsense but I’ve always found 1:1s to be corporate lip service. I’m in a place I’m happy, my employer happy with my work and I have no interest in career paths etc. That doesn’t mean I’ve no interest in being better/doing better work, which I’m constantly doing, I just have no interest playing the game going through different org chart paths as happy where I am and certainly don’t want to do management.

1:1’s are offical company time so if you share your being stressed or other issues I’ve seen that used against people before, it’s not a private confidential chat, it’s a manager/employee chat.

I find it’s best for me to smile, nod my head and ask the other person how they are.

Experiences outside of corporate I found it more genuine the ceo randomly saying hey do you want to get a coffee/lunch instead of a prescribed scheduled 1:1.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#64

Post by spadros »

Yeah, I’ve been finding my one on ones useless recently, and this article seems to have some more useless “wisdom” here summed up in a nice package. Kind of annoying to me that the writer implies the one on one is for me to fill his valuable time. I’m loving my work, don’t have any issues with my coworkers, and like my current position. I really don’t have critical feedback to bring to the table every one on one. To be honest, if everything is going smoothly, all I can do is talk about what I’m excited to work on next and how life is going. Which is a status update.

By the way, I found the “figure out my problems and solve them” line very rich. Every morning we have a standup where my manager tells me what his main concerns are and then I change my priority of work to keep his stress (and thus mine) low on whatever the new issue is. That’s generally how managers and employees work. You’re probably doing something very wrong or are very green if you don’t know what your managers chief stressors and concerns are, because I have no idea how you’d manage your work properly otherwise.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#65

Post by KTallguy »

lnsru wrote: post #58
KTallguy wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I disagree. I approach 1:1s as an opportunity to just shoot the shit if that person is interested, or if there is something on their mind they can choose to chat about it. As the article states, it's that person's chance to completely dictate the conversation. I think the best is to personalize things as best you can (depending on your team size). Some personalities are less interested in talking, which is fine―I jus…

I am glad for your team, that you genuinely care. There are enough people stuck in management positions that should sit locked in the basement instead of managing people and making their lives miserable. Currently my one-on-ones are 20 minutes meetings once a year where manager reads from paper what he thinks about my performance last year. I have no right to question his decision. I could open a case with HR to revi…

I get it. I've had my share of bad managers.

What you described sounds like a performance review... I think 1:1s should be monthly or weekly, depending on the team.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#66

Post by KTallguy »

TobbenTM wrote: post #43
dustymcp wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This forced 1:1 is the worst..

Is it really forced tho? People are busy, you some times don't get the chance to sit down and just talk about anything on your mind. Something else than the current backlog or whatever. By scheduling regular meetings, it doesn't mean you _have to_ spend an hour talking about whatever, it's a block in your calendar where _you can_. In my experience, these are never forced, but rather an opportunity any party can use t…

Agreed, it shouldn't feel forced.

Some people really don't like 1:1s and that's down to individual personalities. Also company culture can make 1:1s feel meaningless if the conversation that happens is never actionable.

I try to see where the person is coming from and adjust my approach. If their concern is not in my power to change, I escalate to my lead when appropriate.

A sibling comment mentioned that chatting about how you're stressed or frustrated can be used against you... I've had that experience and it was terrible. I think it all comes down to having a good manager, and unfortunately you can't always choose.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#67

Post by danparsonson »

TobbenTM wrote: post #43
dustymcp wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This forced 1:1 is the worst..

Is it really forced tho? People are busy, you some times don't get the chance to sit down and just talk about anything on your mind. Something else than the current backlog or whatever. By scheduling regular meetings, it doesn't mean you _have to_ spend an hour talking about whatever, it's a block in your calendar where _you can_. In my experience, these are never forced, but rather an opportunity any party can use t…

If there's time to schedule a regular one to one, why isn't there time to instead schedule a meeting when a team member has something on their mind to discuss?

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#68

Post by danparsonson »

qbasic_forever wrote: post #46

Why even bother with a monthly 1:1, that's almost insulting to the employee. If I had major concerns a month is far too long to wait to see action and have them resolved. You're telling your employee that of the ~160 work-hours in a month they are worth less than one of them.

If you have major concerns, why not just schedule a meeting? Why are you waiting for a monthly catch-up to air them? I think this whole one to one thing is pointless - if there's a problem, organise a meeting to discuss it (or talk about it during one of the regular team meetings if it's not a private matter); if not, let's just get on with doing some actual work.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#69

Post by sdoering »

spadros wrote: post #64

Yeah, I’ve been finding my one on ones useless recently, and this article seems to have some more useless “wisdom” here summed up in a nice package. Kind of annoying to me that the writer implies the one on one is for me to fill his valuable time. I’m loving my work, don’t have any issues with my coworkers, and like my current position. I really don’t have critical feedback to bring to the table every one on one. To…

> You’re probably doing something very wrong or are very green if you don’t know what your managers chief stressors and concerns are, because I have no idea how you’d manage your work properly otherwise.

I basically agree with nearly everything you said. I just wanted to widen the scope a bit on the quoted part. Working in an agency in a client facing role, my main focus is to reduce the stressors for my client and "arm" them with things that make them look good with their managers and leadership.

Else than that I can only agree that when everything is fine - why should I fill 30 - 45 minutes of my managers time (that could be used more efficiently).

Also: If not everything is well I feel it is important to see if this is something your manager can do anything about. Not because you should not tell them if they can't do anything about, but to adjust your expectations and state it as an information/request. Oftentimes I found myself talking to my manager about things that don't work well but they could not do anything about this. But we found ourselves nonetheless creating ideas how to mitigate this in other areas.

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