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HP Names Meg Whitman President and Chief Executive Officer

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Re: HP Names Meg Whitman President and Chief Executive Officer

#61

Post by dgallagher »

HP appointed Meg Whitman as CEO earlier today, in an attempt to save the troubled computer maker. When asked what her first course of action would be, Mrs. Whitman firmly answered "eBay."

"I'm an excellent eBayer, and have been for years. You've never seen a feedback profile with so many A+++++'s before." Mrs. Whitman continued, "HP has warehouses full of inventory, ready to be gobbled up by the highest bidder. On my way in today, I must have passed about a dozen pallets of iPaq 3630's just collecting dust. Those go for a lot of money you know! There's so much stuff just lying around here that can be sold for big big bucks!"

The board of directors was quick to point out Mrs. Whitman's Titanium PowerSeller level status, among her many other credentials. "She accepts all major forms of payment, including PayPal." When asked about their CEO selection process, a board member went on to say "We won an auction for a used paper towel holder from her the other week. She even emailed a tracking number so we could determine the exact date it would be delivered. I must have refreshed UPS.com about a zillion times! Well, when we got it, turns out it was actually new, not used! That level of service amazed us, and we knew right then and there we found our next CEO."

Mrs. Whitman quickly detailed a plan to get the company back on track, including getting their feedback rating back up to 100%. "All these negative feedbacks about this Norton AntiVirus thing have got to go. And paying to upgrade your auction to bold, and including a picture, really does make a difference!" One shareholder noted that "It's executive-level thinking like this which will save this company." Other Shareholders have agreed, and bid the stock up to a yearly-high shortly after the announcement.

"Is Woz's cubicle still around here? I bet there's several Apple I's under his desk that'll go for lots."

When asked about long-term prospects beyond selling all of HP's assets, Mrs. Whitman indicated that they can continue to thrive by adopting IBM's business model of advertising their brand everywhere, without actually selling anything, financing it with Jeopardy-playing machines. "I love that show and watch it every night. Ooo, maybe we can make a Wheel of Fortune machine too! That'll really pump our margins up!"

Re: HP Names Meg Whitman President and Chief Executive Officer

#62

Post by azulum »

dgallagher wrote: post #61

HP appointed Meg Whitman as CEO earlier today, in an attempt to save the troubled computer maker. When asked what her first course of action would be, Mrs. Whitman firmly answered "eBay." "I'm an excellent eBayer, and have been for years. You've never seen a feedback profile with so many A+++++'s before." Mrs. Whitman continued, "HP has warehouses full of inventory, ready to be gobbled up by the highest bidder. On my…

this would be better than the truth.

here's an idea for the hp bod—go read something called the hp way http://product.half.ebay.com/The-Hp-Way-How-Bill-Hewlett-and... it's only a few bucks. need a primer on what it's about? read this: http://www.jimcollins.com/article_topics/articles/the-hp-way... it's very enlightening. it seems very coincidental that it too has the letters hp in it. it might be helpful

EDIT: the save 94% on half.com makes me laugh. FIRE SALE!

Re: HP Names Meg Whitman President and Chief Executive Officer

#63

Post by cpeterso »

alttag wrote: post #38

I said earlier Whitman would be on my short list of bad choices for the job. I spent some time today thinking about who I would pick. Someone with experience at a product company, that had to oversee design, manufacturing, and logistics. (Ebay is clearly not this.) Also, someone with experience at a services company with a track record of success. (Despite service--and SaaS--experience, Ebay "survived" rather than "s…

> I spent some time today thinking about who I would pick.

So who did you pick? I'm drawing a blank..

Re: HP Names Meg Whitman President and Chief Executive Officer

#64

Post by azulum »

alttag wrote: post #38

I said earlier Whitman would be on my short list of bad choices for the job. I spent some time today thinking about who I would pick. Someone with experience at a product company, that had to oversee design, manufacturing, and logistics. (Ebay is clearly not this.) Also, someone with experience at a services company with a track record of success. (Despite service--and SaaS--experience, Ebay "survived" rather than "s…

hp used be renowned for management empowering employees. of course they also used to be renowned for only entering fields in which they could contribute real innovation (and making stuff just to make stuff, but making something new and better than anything else). i'm still in disbelief about this company. they have abandoned nearly every damned thing that made this company great. from jim collins' foreward to the hp way (linked in my last comment)

The core essence of the HP Way consists of five fundamental precepts.

1) The Hewlett-Packard company exists to make a technical contribution, and should only pursue opportunities consistent with this purpose;

2) The Hewlett-Packard company demands of itself and its people superior performance—profitable growth is both a means and a measure of enduring success;

3) The Hewlett-Packard company believes the best results come when you get the right people, trust them, give them freedom to find the best path to achieve objectives, and let them share in the rewards their work makes possible;

4) The Hewlett-Packard company has a responsibility to contribute directly to the well-being of the communities in which its operates;

5) Integrity, period.

Re: HP Names Meg Whitman President and Chief Executive Officer

#65

Post by tjmc »

cpeterso wrote: post #63
alttag wrote: post #38

I said earlier Whitman would be on my short list of bad choices for the job. I spent some time today thinking about who I would pick. Someone with experience at a product company, that had to oversee design, manufacturing, and logistics. (Ebay is clearly not this.) Also, someone with experience at a services company with a track record of success. (Despite service--and SaaS--experience, Ebay "survived" rather than "s…

> I spent some time today thinking about who I would pick. So who did you pick? I'm drawing a blank..

I hear Carol Bartz was available. Guess she'll now have to wait another 12 months or so.

Actually on second thoughts I'm thinking Balmer. At least MS employees would be happy...

Re: HP Names Meg Whitman President and Chief Executive Officer

#66

Post by VladRussian »

T_S_ wrote: post #32

Will we ever rid ourselves of corporate-speak? How many bits of information here? “We are fortunate to have someone of Meg Whitman’s caliber and experience step up to lead HP,” said Lane. “We are at a critical moment and we need renewed leadership to successfully implement our strategy and take advantage of the market opportunities ahead. Meg is a technology visionary with a proven track record of execution. She is a…

>as a member of HP’s board of directors for the past eight months, Meg has a solid understanding of our products and markets.

8 months to solid understanding of HP products and markets?

Re: HP Names Meg Whitman President and Chief Executive Officer

#68

Post by nl »

0x12 wrote: post #26
slantyyz wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

HP does a lot of hardware on the consumer side, but they've been doing quite well in the enterprise without much ballyhoo. And the margins are way better in the enterprise than on the PC side (not counting "the ink is worth more than unobtainium" side of their business).

Yes, but you can bet that any manager that was about to plunk down a large amount of money for HP stuff with a sense of continuity is now looking at the competition. The kind of boat-rocking that HP is engaging in is every corporate buyers nightmare and will cause a lot of sleepless nights in the houses of people procuring their enterprise product line.

Not really.

I work in this field, with lots of HP hardware, and its not even discussed.

The lifecycle of new enterprise hardware is ~3 years. No one thinks HP would leave any enterprise customer screwed in the 3 year timeframe. Even if they sold the business everyone understands you will be supported that long.

Also, companies change hands all the time in the enterprise market. We're used to it, and generally a change of ownership is greeted with a meh response.

Re: HP Names Meg Whitman President and Chief Executive Officer

#69

Post by marcamillion »

You know...this might seem silly, but until I actually read the story did I remember that Meg Whitman was Ebay's CEO.

For some reason, I kept thinking that it was Carol Bartz that was now CEO of HP.

The ironic thing is, given what I have been seeing of HP's upper-level management problems recently, it didn't surprise me. I didn't even bat an eye-lid.

It's just after seeing the title on about 4 different links that I decided to click the NYTimes article and realized it was eBay's ex-CEO not Yahoo!'s.

Re: HP Names Meg Whitman President and Chief Executive Officer

#70

Post by eric-hu »

jeroen wrote: post #41
markokocic wrote: post #13

Not a good move. He started his job by doing some hard upfront decisions that he hoped will play in HP advantage in the long run. And the board cut him off at the point when he didn't even started the transformation. Now, who knows what will happen. The other possible explanation is that he knew that he is going to be scraped, and had enormous compensation for receiving the blame.

His total earnings from these 11 months seems to be $35 million. $9.8M in salary, signing bonus, etc, and $25.2M severence in cash and stock. source: http://money.cnn.com/2011/09/22/technology/hp_leo_apotheker_...

I figured he'd be well compensated, but wouldn't this mark the end of his career as a high level executive?
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