To share a contrarian view, what I have always observed is that if an organization has an ingrained culture of 80-20, then by the time something percolates 3-4 hand offs, the org half-asses the execution and more often than not fails. Organizations that can execute even somewhat more consistently instead run rings around and completely destroy the 80-20 organization over time and people lose their jobs. The secret is…
Unlearning perfectionism
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Re: Unlearning perfectionism
#62To share a contrarian view, what I have always observed is that if an organization has an ingrained culture of 80-20, then by the time something percolates 3-4 hand offs, the org half-asses the execution and more often than not fails. Organizations that can execute even somewhat more consistently instead run rings around and completely destroy the 80-20 organization over time and people lose their jobs. The secret is…
How would 90-10 work vs. 80-20 -- even less work for 10% more gain? Perhaps you could have 90-25 or 90-30 but it seems to me like 90-10 is impossible in comparison to 80-20 unless the 10 is not a subset of the 20.
Re: Unlearning perfectionism
#63“Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.” ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
When there is nothing more to take away you're left with nothing. As they say, "Nothing is perfect."
Re: Unlearning perfectionism
#64Arun is describing almost every flaw a human being can have and wrapping it all in what he calls perfectionism. A good way to see if the scenarios he paints qualify you can just ask the question, if I did those things differently would I then be less of a perfectionist? I'm not sure the answer is an emphatic yes.
I use the term "perfectionism" to describe the space of behaviors around the traditional description. Like any generalization it can be expanded so much that it includes everything. But what separates perfectionism from normal fallibility, to me, is the degree of identity investment in the outcome. Disappointment per se is not perfectionism. What makes it a tendency worth naming is the intensity of mental stress and…
Re: Unlearning perfectionism
#65I'm a recovering perfectionist who has read their fair share of Brene Brown, Steven Pressfield, Seth Godin, Tony Robbins, Anne Lamott, and many more. The best metaphors I've read is in Bird by Bird. The author describes two different scenarios. The first is that perfection & progress is much like driving late at night with headlights. You will only be able to see as far as your headlights allow. You might be going th…
> The first is that perfection & progress is much like driving late at night with headlights. You will only be able to see as far as your headlights allow. that's all you need to drive ar night though (and driving in general) if you drive looking around you, you can become a danger for yourself and others. What I mean is that perfectionism is doing things the right way and make the best out of the limits you encounte…
My dictionary defines perfectionist as “a person who refuses to accept any standard short of perfection”. That is the standard definition you will find most people understand as the meaning of the word. For more precise use in a technical context, see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfectionism_(psychology)
>> Perfectionists strain compulsively and unceasingly toward unattainable goals, and measure their self-worth by productivity and accomplishment. Pressuring oneself to achieve unrealistic goals inevitably sets the person up for disappointment. Perfectionists tend to be harsh critics of themselves when they fail to meet their expectations. [...]
>> Perfectionism can be damaging. It can take the form of procrastination when used to postpone tasks and self-deprecation when used to excuse poor performance or to seek sympathy and affirmation from other people. These, together or separate, are self-handicapping strategies perfectionists may use to protect their sense of self-competence. In general, perfectionists feel constant pressure to meet their high expectations, which creates cognitive dissonance when expectations cannot be met. Perfectionism has been associated with numerous other psychological and physiological complications. Moreover, perfectionism may result in alienation and social disconnection via certain rigid interpersonal patterns common to perfectionistic individuals.
“Doing things the right way” is an idiosyncratic personal definition. You should find a different word for this if you want people to understand you. Or perhaps you could use “competence”, “proficiency”, “fastidiousness”, “judiciousness”, “practicality”, “adaptability”, “success”, or some other existing word, depending on the context.
Re: Unlearning perfectionism
#66I had a professor once that said he found his most professionally successful students weren’t the ones who got A’s but the B students and he calked it up to the notion that the B students were better able to know where the maximum return on their invested effort was where as the A student invested whatever it took to get the A even if the incremental effort required wasn’t proportional to the incremental benefit of t…
.. Paul Morphy
Re: Unlearning perfectionism
#67Re: Unlearning perfectionism
#68The most apt description I have come across of perfectionism is that it stems from some unresolved trauma that led to a fear of not being accepted and resulting lack of confidence.
As a person with a lot of unresolved trauma (and perfectionism issues), I hate the term "unresolved trauma". I've been working hard with a therapist and a psychologist for years, and I've made a ton of progress, but my trauma will never be truly resolved. Every few years some new facet of damage will pop up that I won't expect and will have to work through.
It's a never ending process, and (imo) the term unresolved trauma implies that there should be a point where it becomes resolved. That's just not realistic or true for a lot of people.
Re: Unlearning perfectionism
#69Re: Unlearning perfectionism
#70From my experience, I wonder how much "perfectionism" is itself the self-deception to cope with an executive function disorder. Most narratives of perfectionism start with the person having unrealistic outcome and that leads to procrastination, difficulty starting, etc. I wonder if it is likely that the problem is an inability to get started and stay on task, and then the person does a 180 and tells themself that the…
Procrastination appears to be determined by interactions between the cognitive-related (prefrontal cortex) and affective-related (limbic system, default mode network) functions. There is a trade-off between the top-down cognitive and bottom-up affective systems.
It appears that affective processing can override top-down control signals for short-term satisfaction, or worst since the hyperactivity of the default mode network was observed in mental disorders.
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/308046561_Identifyi...
Perfectionism could be how the mind copes with the failures of top-down control.
Makes sense, I had an unfortunate childhood, and it took a long time to gain control over my hyperactive affective functions, and I'm a recovering perfectionist. Self-compassion works.