Earlier quoted context omitted.
Fortunately, it just needs to get me east of I5, right?
Ah, I misunderstood. I was thinking someone was trying to make it through to the other side without leaving. In the situation you're describing, you're certainly correct that it's easily carried insurance. Although I'd leave the shovel. The ground is already going to be so toxic that a little bit of poop on the way isn't going to even be noticed. Might as well save the weight in the pack.
My congratulations on your commitment to carrying the joke forward.