but what if i’m good at both?
Writing is networking for introverts
61–70 of 91 posts
Re: Writing is networking for introverts
#62This sounds more like "socially awkward but want to talk to lots of people" than strictly introverted (which itself generally gets used to mean many things). I have some "introvert" traits: talking to people tires me out, I have no interest in low quality conversations - I dont like chit-chatting with strangers. If this is what's going to happen at an event I'd rather avoid it altogether than have a pretext for peopl…
What you call "low-quality conversation", smalltalk, is particularly disliked by people with Aspergers.
Re: Writing is networking for introverts
#63This sounds more like "socially awkward but want to talk to lots of people" than strictly introverted (which itself generally gets used to mean many things). I have some "introvert" traits: talking to people tires me out, I have no interest in low quality conversations - I dont like chit-chatting with strangers. If this is what's going to happen at an event I'd rather avoid it altogether than have a pretext for peopl…
I agree. The whole introvert thing is so loosely defined that it covers everyone to some degree. For example, I find smalltalk with people I don’t really know to be extremely challenging and tiring. And yet with people I do know, or in conversations on topics where I feel confident, I struggle to shut myself up. I wouldn’t consider myself to be either introvert or extrovert, merely some set of personality traits.
> I agree. The whole introvert thing is so loosely defined that it covers everyone to some degree.
Well of course. Because majority of people is exactly in the middle between extroverts and introverts. The extremes are fairly rare. Most of us are a mix of introvert and extrovert traits, because it is normal distribution.
The way people talk about it, you would think there are two distinct species with no overlap.
Re: Writing is networking for introverts
#64This sounds more like "socially awkward but want to talk to lots of people" than strictly introverted (which itself generally gets used to mean many things). I have some "introvert" traits: talking to people tires me out, I have no interest in low quality conversations - I dont like chit-chatting with strangers. If this is what's going to happen at an event I'd rather avoid it altogether than have a pretext for peopl…
I agree. The whole introvert thing is so loosely defined that it covers everyone to some degree. For example, I find smalltalk with people I don’t really know to be extremely challenging and tiring. And yet with people I do know, or in conversations on topics where I feel confident, I struggle to shut myself up. I wouldn’t consider myself to be either introvert or extrovert, merely some set of personality traits.
It's a skill though, that can be trained like any other. You don't have enough practice.
I always thought my father was just like me, no nonsense, no chit chat, just to the point. Until I went with him when he was looking for storage space, and had heard an 80-year old farmer a bit outside of our town had some.
They talked about essentially nothing for twenty minutes but if you listened very carefully, somewhere in between the farmer had asked what my father was looking for, and a few minutes later my father had spent a few sentences on it, and then later it was mentioned that Xx who is the brother of Y you may know him has that company and he is using storage now but in a month half of it will be free and who knows and the rest depends on what Z does in the spring. In the end my dad kept a lot of stuff there for years paying hardly anything.
And in the meantime they understood exactly who the other was, what kind of people they were from, and so on.
I was in awe (I just stood there listening), they just had a whole type of conversation that I couldn't do.
So now I try to practice when I have the chance.
Re: Writing is networking for introverts
#65Apart from natural inclinations one needs to account the time it takes. Networking is boring and slow process , and nerds are impatient. It seems like there is a problem to solve there, rather than considering it an unfixable natural handicap. Writing (becoming famous) may be one way but it still too indirect, hard if you re not good writer, and probably hit-or-miss way to succeed in.
The problem with the global and centralizing nature of our current social instruments is that markets in every niche are global, which means that all buyers and all sellers are in the same spot trying to network. This is monolithic. It is good for finding global optima, but it misses all the value that exists in local optima.
Re: Writing is networking for introverts
#66This sounds more like "socially awkward but want to talk to lots of people" than strictly introverted (which itself generally gets used to mean many things). I have some "introvert" traits: talking to people tires me out, I have no interest in low quality conversations - I dont like chit-chatting with strangers. If this is what's going to happen at an event I'd rather avoid it altogether than have a pretext for peopl…
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Re: Writing is networking for introverts
#67This sounds more like "socially awkward but want to talk to lots of people" than strictly introverted (which itself generally gets used to mean many things). I have some "introvert" traits: talking to people tires me out, I have no interest in low quality conversations - I dont like chit-chatting with strangers. If this is what's going to happen at an event I'd rather avoid it altogether than have a pretext for peopl…
I agree. The whole introvert thing is so loosely defined that it covers everyone to some degree. For example, I find smalltalk with people I don’t really know to be extremely challenging and tiring. And yet with people I do know, or in conversations on topics where I feel confident, I struggle to shut myself up. I wouldn’t consider myself to be either introvert or extrovert, merely some set of personality traits.
> I find smalltalk with people I don’t really know to be extremely challenging and tiring. And yet with people I do know, or in conversations on topics where I feel confident, I struggle to shut myself up.
This sounds more like ADHD.
Re: Writing is networking for introverts
#68Don't know if it's networking for introverts, but it is asynchronous, can be anonymized, is much easier to distribute, has a wider audience, can be used as a playground, supports the thought process, reduces social pressure in and gives more control over face to face situations, pleases the ego and so on.
You can use it as a shell.
You might use it as a sting.
Re: Writing is networking for introverts
#69Earlier quoted context omitted.
I love those guys. It shows how important it is for them to not cause trouble or create surprises for random strangers that they are willing to repeat the same conversation with that level of dedication. It is the purest form of empathy and yet unfortunately also the most invisible kind.
The fact that someone talks because they find silence uncomfortable doesn't necessarily have to have anything to do with empathy. It may be a form of self-help executed against someone who doesn't really want to talk nor feels in any way uncomfortable when not talking about crap like weather, plans for the weekend, or - better yet - doesn't want to be annoyed by politics. Hell, I know people who tend to help themselv…
sigh...it's not really about the weather. get it. extroversion is not about talking, but socializing, warmth, dominance etc.
Re: Writing is networking for introverts
#70Earlier quoted context omitted.
"Typically" is a bit overly optimistic IMO. "Possibly" seems more accurate - low quality conversations (e.g. the weather, sports, etc.) are typically just psychological glue so folks don't feel awkward during silence. And I think it's fair to say that extroverts value that glue more than introverts, generally speaking. For an introvert, the value of the glue may even be exceeded by the cost of discussing some random…
there's a guy in my building that 100% of the time he talks about the weather when we met in the elevator. its kinda funny that some people can't deal with silence for a few seconds
As a person who has talked about weather with neighbors... It's not necessarily about being uncomfortable. All small talk has a subtext, and in this case I think it's something like:
"Hi neighbor, it's nice to see a familiar face. I'm glad to see that you are alive and well, as am I. I am still a normal non-creepy person who lives near you & who cares that you are doing well. If you ever find yourself in a jam eg. locked out, I'll try to help you, and hope I can rely on you to do the same for me. But I don't necessarily want to be your friend, and I realize that you have other things going on at the moment, so I won't bother or distract you with a conversation that takes longer than an elevator trip or requires emotional vulnerability or introspection."
I think we don't say these things in these words because it takes too long, and it requires engaging with someone on a more personal/honest/vulnerable level than they may really be comfortable with given that I'm basically a total stranger.