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An introverts guide to increasing energy

ashleyjanssen.com

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Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#61

Post by wpietri »

jplr8922 wrote: post #59

I've read 'Personality Types' (the book where Jung define introversion and extraversion) many times by now. It is hard to understand at first, by now I am amazed about how his concepts are interpreted differently than what he intended. Introversion is a kind of filtering mechanism where your self concept (ego) overweight the importance of internal stimulis over external one (and vice versa for an extrovert). If a sub…

I think it's better just to see the modern uses of the terms as distinct from Jung's. Term drift away from intent happens a lot. New York is now old, and St Francis of Assisi would not see much familiar in today's San Francisco.

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#62

Post by enduser »

Technically introversion refers to people whose dominant cognitive function[1] has an “internal model” of the world, vs. extraversion where the world is the model.

Introverts need down time because it takes processing time to update the internal model in response to stimuli.

Extraverts don’t like being alone because when the world around them is empty “nothing is happening”.

It’s not the enjoyment of company or solitude that makes us introverted or extraverted.

[1] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_Types

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#63

Post by rob_c »

hn8788 wrote: post #11
rob_c wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Have to agree. But hopefully without the crowd of "I now identify as this, how dare you" following on.

If more people identify as introverts, maybe they'll stop hanging around the coffee pot near my desk and chatting all day.

tbh, coffee is usually more fun than work :P

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#64

Post by vorpalhex »

hliyan wrote: post #31

For over 25 years I wondered why social events drained me and what neurological phenomenon the metaphor "energy" stood for (which this article and many others like it don't seem to bother investigating). I've recently come to realize that it's the extent to which you see other human beings as a threat, which causes your brain to keep its "shields up", which can feel exhausting. After a observing myself a lot during s…

As an alternative to alcohol, I found a low dose of cbd oil helps "drop the shields" without any side effects.

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#65

Post by DanHulton »

hliyan wrote: post #31

For over 25 years I wondered why social events drained me and what neurological phenomenon the metaphor "energy" stood for (which this article and many others like it don't seem to bother investigating). I've recently come to realize that it's the extent to which you see other human beings as a threat, which causes your brain to keep its "shields up", which can feel exhausting. After a observing myself a lot during s…

I recently had a similar epiphany, but for me, the judgement I found was internal. Essentially, when in social situations where I do not understand all of the expectations (my SO, long-standing friends, familiar work settings), I'm not able to be in the moment, and have what I have described as a "monitor process" running, analyzing the situation, my interactions, peoples reactions to them, etc. Running that "monitor process" (yes, I'm a computer nerd, how did you know) is _exhausting,_ but effective.

For example, people say I'm good with kids, but it is definitely not natural. I'm redlining that process to evaluate the situation and react appropriately. I know friends who just "recharge" when hanging out with kids. I'd say _they're_ good with kids, I can just fake it for an afternoon (and then I need a nap).

I've also noticed it with D&D. I enjoy getting out and playing it with friends, but also, it becomes a group of new people, kinda, and you're a new person, kinda, so again that "monitor process" comes into play, and by the time we're done a session and I get home, I just kind of need to crawl into a chair and read a book in silence for an hour.

But definitely, absolutely, it's that judgement you mention that's a primary factor, I guess I just see that judgement (personally) coming as more of an internal force.

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#66

Post by jplr8922 »

wpietri wrote: post #61
jplr8922 wrote: post #59

I've read 'Personality Types' (the book where Jung define introversion and extraversion) many times by now. It is hard to understand at first, by now I am amazed about how his concepts are interpreted differently than what he intended. Introversion is a kind of filtering mechanism where your self concept (ego) overweight the importance of internal stimulis over external one (and vice versa for an extrovert). If a sub…

I think it's better just to see the modern uses of the terms as distinct from Jung's. Term drift away from intent happens a lot. New York is now old, and St Francis of Assisi would not see much familiar in today's San Francisco.

Well if my sister tells me that her last date was 'such of a introvert' I am not going to start a lecture of Jung. However if we discuss adaptation from one way of being into another, discussing the process on self transformation in the terms of the guys who described it first might be helpful. I personally think that the modern use of introversion and extraversion are very narrow, and limit the scope of personal growth.

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#67

Post by wpietri »

mckirk wrote: post #20
mrsmee89 wrote: post #12

As someone who typically gets their energy depleted around people, there are certain people that increase my energy. There are also times where I almost need to interact with people on a biological level. Listening to my body is the thing that weirdly, used to take up a lot of energy because I wasn’t used to/ allowed to as a child. So I was constantly making difficult real-time decisions. As an adult, I’ve learned ho…

Could you elaborate a bit on how you weren't allowed to listen to your body as a child, and what kind of difficult real-time decisions that meant you had to make? Also, how did you work on improving that as an adult?

Not the poster, but it's very familiar to me. I grew up in the midwest, and a friend from there says, "In the midwest we don't have bodies or feelings."

As a kid, I clearly remember having an epiphany: when people asked my how I was doing, they did not actually want to know how I was doing. There were a number of appropriate answers, "fine" first among them. If you watch the first 20 seconds of "How to Speak Minnesotan", it's this dynamic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-wx11l3nr4

The best way to convincingly say you're fine is to not know otherwise. So by my late teens I was very good at not knowing how I was feeling. After 20 years in California, I have unlearned a lot of this. Yoga especially helped, as at least with my instructor it was basically 90 minutes of learning to pay attention to the subtle feelings in my body. Unsurprisingly, paying attention to my emotional and physical health has a lot of benefits, so I am a much happier person and would never go back.

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#68

Post by SyzygistSix »

amelius wrote: post #3

Parties also generally drain my energy. But I've found out something interesting. If people start playing games at a party (like card games), or if there is a discussion of a topic that really interests me, then my energy is magically replenished. Weird.

It helps me when there is a common focus on an activity rather than just on people. Parties can be not so great; playing music with people, which is very similar, I'm totally fine with.

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#69

Post by ca98am79 »

hliyan wrote: post #31

For over 25 years I wondered why social events drained me and what neurological phenomenon the metaphor "energy" stood for (which this article and many others like it don't seem to bother investigating). I've recently come to realize that it's the extent to which you see other human beings as a threat, which causes your brain to keep its "shields up", which can feel exhausting. After a observing myself a lot during s…

For me the draining part is small talk. I don't really feel confident in my ability to small talk and I also really don't like to do it. But I feel it is a kind of bonding ritual between strangers that I don't understand. I feel that most people don't even think about it and can just do it naturally, like riding a bike. But for me it is like juggling ten balls. Even checking out groceries with a cashier is really draining.

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#70

Post by avindroth »

Everyone is introverted in a different way, and actually the best thing is let yourself be introverted for a while and let your mind figure out what’s going on. Note by my estimation this can take 12-24 months, which may be time you do not have. But oftentimes 12-24 months to sort out your psychological limits (permanently) is pretty cheap.
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