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Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

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Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#61

Post by IndexCardBox »

First, I would say if you're worried about your mental health, don't wait, go get help. It does sound to me like you might be a little depressed, but don't take the word of a random internet stranger.

With that being said, when I get like this, I take a step back and look at the bigger picture. First, there's plenty of people in the world who would look at your situation and be floored. "If only I could pay my bills / stay out of trouble with the law / stay off drugs / etc.". There's always someone better and always someone worse.

Second, ask yourself what do you want. Would you be satisfied if you made the next Rollercoaster Tycoon... Or would you say yeah, but X developer did way more in a shorter time and made more money? Like, would it actually be enough? Instead chase what you enjoy.

But it sounds like you don't know what you want. That's not bad, that's exciting! Try things! Maybe you always had an interest in cooking, or writing poetry, or hiking, or whatever. Or society is so obsessed with external validation, instead focus on intrinsic value.

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#62

Post by 63 »

dvh1990 wrote: post #23

I'll be brutally honest because I used to be in your situation. Each and every person you admire has poured thousands of hours into some project. For some that's a degree. For some it's a game they wrote, for others it's company that they've started... Have you done that? Spent thousands of hours on a single thing? Focused on a project long enough to actually see results? I'm guessing not, because if you would have t…

What's interesting is that most of these people didn't start with OP's mindset. They didn't say "I want to pour thousands of hours into this one thing until I see results so I can compare myself against other people and feel satisfied." Starting from that mindset is already putting you behind. Doing something because you love doing it and not because you have any expectations will get you there faster, but only if you can do it. It's all survivor bias.

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#63

Post by dvh1990 »

knuthsat wrote: post #45
dvh1990 wrote: post #23

I'll be brutally honest because I used to be in your situation. Each and every person you admire has poured thousands of hours into some project. For some that's a degree. For some it's a game they wrote, for others it's company that they've started... Have you done that? Spent thousands of hours on a single thing? Focused on a project long enough to actually see results? I'm guessing not, because if you would have t…

This attitude is nice, but unfortunately in most cases it does not apply. Many people have different sensibilities and tastes. Those that become great alone are extremely talented, gifted and innately know what to filter and how to improve. Most of us do need some guidance and there's not enough hours of piano playing for us regular folks to discover all of the learning tricks with which we become insanely good. Prog…

I understand where you're coming from, but a person in the situation that the OP is in has only two options: Do nothing, or do something.

Yes, achieving "greatness" is sadly not in the cards for most of us. But to try is a choice anyone can make. In the end, would you rather have tried and failed or not tried at all?

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#64

Post by akanet »

It's okay to be average or below average. Most of us are. We just have to make peace with what we can reasonably do in this short life. History remembers almost no individuals, and to be one so lucky as to be remembered by history is beyond our right to ask for.

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#65

Post by dvh1990 »

interfixus wrote: post #31
dvh1990 wrote: post #23

I'll be brutally honest because I used to be in your situation. Each and every person you admire has poured thousands of hours into some project. For some that's a degree. For some it's a game they wrote, for others it's company that they've started... Have you done that? Spent thousands of hours on a single thing? Focused on a project long enough to actually see results? I'm guessing not, because if you would have t…

> the one thing that you should do You are not being brutally honest, you are just trying to crash this party with your own particular mindset.

Perhaps, but I believe it is a mindset worth pushing forward.

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#67

Post by dj_mc_merlin »

There's always a bigger fish. Always someone better than you, to such a degree you cannot imagine competing. There's only one thing you can always be better at than everyone though: living your life in a way that fulfills you, without the need to win the right genetic & environmental lottery to be the best of the best.

A large amount of people at the very top of any field have problems in other parts of their life. That is because intelligence can also be a drawback. It leads to heavy introspection for one, which you need to control or enjoy heavy depressions and anxieties. That is not to say that many high-performance people are not perfectly happy too. They are, and that is fine: you can focus on making yourself perfectly happy. It's not a zero-sum game.

I hope this makes some sense, it's the best way I can put it.

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#68

Post by peignoir »

Something that makes me feel better has been to read Einstein or Feynman or other physicist who helped advance mankind knowledge. They all share two things, first they profoundly understand their subject and explain it as simply as possible, two they have no shame talking about their weaknesses since they have nothing to prove. We re only human and what you perceive as you being dumb and other being geniuses is just an illusion. We all are knowledgeable about different subjects and the one on the top are their being some amazing alignment of luck…

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#69

Post by Typhon »

tomrod wrote: post #57
HWR_14 wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are a lot of people who look at that past self as being something they fell away from. In some cases by choices they made and regret and in others where they suffered some accident. I'm not sure how the Hemingway quote is supposed to make them feel.

That the future can still inspire, once they account for sunk costs being irrelevant even if emotionally difficult.

This is one of those things that is both very true, and very much easier to say than do.

Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing

#70

Post by throwawayacc2 »

Do you have a few good friends? A wife or girlfriend? Do you get along moderately well with your family? If you hit 2/3 with this, let alone 3/3 you are in a place much better than the majority. Add to that you have a decent career, I’d say you’re top quarter easy. Are you healthy? Add decently healthy to this and your lot in life is probably top eighth easy.

Grow, improve your self, follow your dreams, but remember at least every now and again to count your blessings too.

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