Because I have to say, for all the "functional will save you" mantras, I keep finding a procedural approach gets the problem solved. Are my problems too simple? Not scale issues? Perhaps. And clearly, I am not trained in anything other than intro Lisp and Hadoop, so I haven't had the deep dive indoctrination others appear to have had.
But as each new computing metaphor comes, we find ways to make it easy for folks trained in older metaphors to come over. Other than Scala, I've found few bridges that are trying to help procedural and OO lang folks adopt functional. It's no-one's fault, I guess, other than new folks are trained in it, and older folks aren't.
But I'll keep looking for that bridge, that shining one thing that will make me go "aahhha, I see" and not "one of these books will explain how passing this function through this multi-nested other function is better than just making a loop".
Because after all these articles, I know functional is great. I just feel bad that I haven't been able to make it great for me... yet.