61–70 of 138 posts
I'm there. I've reached a point in my evolution as a programmer that I have ways I like to do things. Ways that work for me. Unfortunately they are not popular. But I'm tired of working on stuff the way others want it done. I'm teetering on the brink of either early retirement or contract work with a strict "my way or the highway" approach. We'll see what happens.
> It’s not always been this way. When I was a kid at school I felt none of the fear of public speaking that others talked about. I enjoyed being on stage, and with my loud voice and plenty of confidence, I felt good about being there. That continued to be true once I entered the world of work, and my comfort on-stage did much to boost my career. But over time, this changed. I am very curious about this dynamic, and w…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is true of a lot of things. It also appears in athletics. Most competitors get very anxious. (Even Mike Tyson in his prime!) but once you’re in the zone, the anxiety goes away. We are all nervous in job interviews. The best ones flow once they start.
Yeah - I think it's a normal human experience, but there's a spectrum of intensity. It becomes a problem when it starts limiting you from doing what you want to do. Bobby Fischer was also terrified before chess matches, Elon Musk says he's terrified of things failing all the time. I think bravery/courage it's not so much not being afraid, but being afraid and coming up with strategies to push through anyway. For spor…
There have been a lot of character assassination's on prominent white men in the conference space by far left extremists. I wonder how much of his anxiety can be attributed to seeing colleagues go through that?
After seeing some heavily charged scenarios play out where it seemed like situations were grossly misinterpreted or expectations were wildly out of whack (none that I was party to, just as a bystander), I no longer do any kind of conference volunteering. I also no longer interact with anyone I don't know _very well_ outside of large groups.
Basically I limit my stranger-interactions to group lunches. Out of personal caution/safety. That also eliminates the only reasons to go to most conferences, so my schedule is a lot more open.
Martin - if you're here, and would want to continue speaking were it not for the physical problems you face - perhaps you should give beta blockers a shot? Side effects are uncommon, risks are low, addictive potential is low, so doctors are generally willing to prescribe them if the patient requests it. It sounds like you're just experiencing stage fright. Many professional performers get this way, and beta blockers…
Sure, he could pursue that...or he could just not do the thing that he hates in the first place, instead of putting foreign substances (with potential risks and side effects) in his body, so he can power through it and keep forcing it to happen. Not all of us have that luxury, but he seems to.
Martin - if you're here, and would want to continue speaking were it not for the physical problems you face - perhaps you should give beta blockers a shot? Side effects are uncommon, risks are low, addictive potential is low, so doctors are generally willing to prescribe them if the patient requests it. It sounds like you're just experiencing stage fright. Many professional performers get this way, and beta blockers…
I have tried beta blockers and they really just get rid of the thumping heart sensation but you're still sweating and terrified. I have had some good success with taking full B complex and D vitamins before speaking though.
I dropped out of my PhD because I could not stand the pressure of having to do talks regularly. Even though I was pretty decent at it (I was told my delivery was fine and clarity was superb), and sometimes felt good ("powerful" for lack of a better word) while on stage, I would worry for months before every presentation, then basically get physically sick for weeks before, and take some weeks more to recover. Then on…
Is it really required to do talks? Does that mean that, for example, people who can't speak (muteness and similar disabilities) can not become PhD?
Full disclosure: I also quit my PhD, for different reasons.
Usually the stressor is obvious, but sometimes it's not and it's something you've left unresolved that your subconscious gets caught up on from time to time.
It might not be the talks themselves. It could be anything.
If you've never had a panic attack before and start getting these, it literally feels like you're going to die the first time you get one. Then you get used to them and start adjusting.
I went through a period of panic attacks after acquisition talks with a giant corp fell through. I was messed up for years after that, with random panic attacks at all times of day.
I worked on returning myself to my previously chill demeanor and haven't had one for many years now.
I also stopped answering any VC/BizDev/CorpDev emails though. lol. But mostly out of a desire to optimize my time use for things that actually matter.
Good luck Martin. Covid has certainly put the value of living the life you truly want for yourself into perspective and I hope you achieve that.
There have been a lot of character assassination's on prominent white men in the conference space by far left extremists. I wonder how much of his anxiety can be attributed to seeing colleagues go through that?
Care to explain the connection between your unsubstantiated claim and the original article?
e.g https://twitter.com/skillsmatter/status/1168944236181557254