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How to deal with difficult people on software projects

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Re: How to deal with difficult people on software projects

#61

Post by cosmodisk »

NotPavlovsDog wrote: post #46
TameAntelope wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I literally don't know how else to deal with certain categories of folks with whom talking and trying to resolve the issue has no effect. Going around them/ignoring them is literally the advice you get from basically every literature I've read, and I've read a lot about this. But you do have to try to work through the issue first, and you have to be willing to try again if they seem open to resolving the problem down…

What would you suggest from your readings? I've mostly benefited from hard realism approach and Actor theory (as applied by some: everyone has an agenda, to work with them: Align, make Peace, or Destroy).

This seems to be working best for me so far.

Re: How to deal with difficult people on software projects

#62

Post by tehjoker »

bri3d wrote: post #22
stevecalifornia wrote: post #16

This is a horrible website and you will likely experience diminished tenure if you follow it's advice. First, there is a complete lack of empathy for the person being labelled. What are the motivations and constraints that led to this person acting this way? A key question and the foundation for building healthy productive relationships. Second, the 'solutions' are horrible. "Go around the person" is terrible advice…

Fully agreed. Amusingly, every single archetype in the "manager" section of this site contains advice which runs exactly counter to the advice from the also highly-upvoted "Common Mistakes of New Engineering Managers" article currently on the HN home page. This just goes to show the extent to which our industry is still very "unsolved" and contains a multitude of often completely-opposed opinions - which means that r…

Management has been around since ancient times in various forms. There are things that kinda work, but the game keeps changing as the interests and balances of power shift in the workplace. Why would it ever be "solved"?

Re: How to deal with difficult people on software projects

#63

Post by TameAntelope »

NotPavlovsDog wrote: post #46
TameAntelope wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I literally don't know how else to deal with certain categories of folks with whom talking and trying to resolve the issue has no effect. Going around them/ignoring them is literally the advice you get from basically every literature I've read, and I've read a lot about this. But you do have to try to work through the issue first, and you have to be willing to try again if they seem open to resolving the problem down…

What would you suggest from your readings? I've mostly benefited from hard realism approach and Actor theory (as applied by some: everyone has an agenda, to work with them: Align, make Peace, or Destroy).

It's actually a bit of a gap -- everything I've read tries very hard to assume positive intent; people will cooperate if you can create a sense within them that they can express themselves without fear of reprisal or judgement.

The reasoning in the literature for avoiding this topic is sound. If you provide the "destroy" option to folks, they're usually going to go with that pretty quickly, and only nominally go for the other methods of resolving conflict.

I've had someone make that determination about me at a previous role, which then put me obviously in a "what do I do with this person?" position which itself led me to the "ignore/destroy" answer. If it hadn't been an option, would this person and I have had a more pleasant working environment?

Re: How to deal with difficult people on software projects

#64

Post by bri3d »

tehjoker wrote: post #62
bri3d wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Fully agreed. Amusingly, every single archetype in the "manager" section of this site contains advice which runs exactly counter to the advice from the also highly-upvoted "Common Mistakes of New Engineering Managers" article currently on the HN home page. This just goes to show the extent to which our industry is still very "unsolved" and contains a multitude of often completely-opposed opinions - which means that r…

Management has been around since ancient times in various forms. There are things that kinda work, but the game keeps changing as the interests and balances of power shift in the workplace. Why would it ever be "solved"?

It wouldn't! - which is pretty much the point I was trying to make about generalization and stereotypes, although I do think there are fewer "generally accepted best practices" in this industry than in most.

Re: How to deal with difficult people on software projects

#65

Post by morelisp »

I'm sensing a pattern in these answers:

> There is no “solution” to The Rockstar Developer

> It is impossible to solve The Aspiring Manager

> The Extreme Overestimator... is fixable, but there is no will to fix it.

> if The Incompetent Developer had the capacity to learn software development, they would have already

> All in all, [The Soldier is] nearly an impossible problem to fix.

> There is no fixing The Legacy Maintainer

At least having disabused ourselves of the ability to actually try to address issues, we can now get rid of management since they clearly have no work to do!

Re: How to deal with difficult people on software projects

#68

Post by kerblang »

stevecalifornia wrote: post #16

This is a horrible website and you will likely experience diminished tenure if you follow it's advice. First, there is a complete lack of empathy for the person being labelled. What are the motivations and constraints that led to this person acting this way? A key question and the foundation for building healthy productive relationships. Second, the 'solutions' are horrible. "Go around the person" is terrible advice…

The only one that kind of bothered me was "The Legacy Maintainer" which argues that your legacy maintainers _want_ to be stuck on a legacy project with their career in ruins. In my experience, nobody wants that, but neither can they do anything about it. Then again, the world already looks down on LM's as effectively an "untouchable" caste, so any excuse will do.

Re: How to deal with difficult people on software projects

#69

Post by JshWright »

kerblang wrote: post #68
stevecalifornia wrote: post #16

This is a horrible website and you will likely experience diminished tenure if you follow it's advice. First, there is a complete lack of empathy for the person being labelled. What are the motivations and constraints that led to this person acting this way? A key question and the foundation for building healthy productive relationships. Second, the 'solutions' are horrible. "Go around the person" is terrible advice…

The only one that kind of bothered me was "The Legacy Maintainer" which argues that your legacy maintainers _want_ to be stuck on a legacy project with their career in ruins. In my experience, nobody wants that, but neither can they do anything about it. Then again, the world already looks down on LM's as effectively an "untouchable" caste, so any excuse will do.

If that's the only one that bothered you, you may want to consider why that is.

It's something you have experience with, and therefore feel empathy for. Is it likely that you just happened to have experience with the one "role" that's worth being empathetic towards?

Re: How to deal with difficult people on software projects

#70

Post by throwaway194729 »

morelisp wrote: post #65

I'm sensing a pattern in these answers: > There is no “solution” to The Rockstar Developer > It is impossible to solve The Aspiring Manager > The Extreme Overestimator... is fixable, but there is no will to fix it. > if The Incompetent Developer had the capacity to learn software development, they would have already > All in all, [The Soldier is] nearly an impossible problem to fix. > There is no fixing The Legacy Ma…

I read the soldier one differently. While the soldier is not fixable as an individual, their personality can work by fixing leadership.

I say this as a soldier myself.

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