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My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

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Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#61

Post by minusthebrandon »

jjk166 wrote: post #41
minusthebrandon wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

She interacts with her peers at school and with her family... by that same token, ANYONE who grew up before Snapchat or the Internet had or has lacking social skills. Also, she CAN FaceTime. I would not consider Snapchat or TikTok to be "socializing with friends" for an 8 year old.

> She interacts with her peers at school and with her family... by that same token, ANYONE who grew up before Snapchat or the Internet had or has lacking social skills. You know how we don't really get this whole social media thing the kids are into these days? That's because we lack those social skills. Just like how your parents' generation struggles with E-mail despite it being so simple, because you grew up with…

My parents struggling with e-mail is no way the same thing as lacking social skills. That just seems a lack of technology skills.

My point was that saying Snapchat or social media leads to greater social skills than what previous generations had is very hard for me to believe.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#62

Post by balabaster »

si1entstill wrote: post #48
Ishmaeli wrote: post #7

Looks like correlation, not causation. Our precocious angels have been transforming into sullen monsters at the onset of adolescence since the beginning of time. Do we really think they would have stayed precocious angels forever, if only they had never discovered comic books or rock'n'roll or TV or video games or whatever the current teenage vice happens to be? Sure, there is good evidence that smartphones are more…

It feels like a bit of both. The phone is probably a focal point for other issues. But, I don't think we should downplay the fact that the finely tuned, variable reward scheduled, Skinner boxs that are many modern apps are anywhere near comic books, rock'n'roll, or videogames of old. I'm pretty conscious of intrusive notifications and apps that aggressively vie for my attention. Even with those limits in place, I'm a…

I turned off all social media notifications on my devices so that I feel more like they're there to serve me rather than me a slave to it. Having it in my pocket is a lot less enticing when it's not constantly nagging me. I feel a lot more in control of it these days. I'm able to leave it on top of the microwave for hours at a time without feeling the anxiety of missing something.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#63

Post by cambalache »

bcfgh123 wrote: post #57
parksy wrote: post #45

My dad smashed my computer around the laundry (where the computer lived) with my cricket bat because I was "playing games" instead of studying. "playing games" was using assembly language and pascal with s3m libraries to program a game. With my kids I've felt the rise of anger when they want to be autonomous and pursue their own interests. I mean, I was taught that parenthood is subjugation. But just like my dad coul…

Isn't a boy coding assembly a bit different than a girl doing TikTok, OnlyFans etc.?

Yes, a girl doing OnlyFans is making money.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#64

Post by abfan1127 »

stolenmerch wrote: post #46

All of these things can be true at the same time: 1) They are bad parents 2) They are good parents 3) Smartphones are a qualitatively different addiction problem than TV, comic books, or other demonized technology of yore 4) It is correlation not causation 5) Her problems were partly caused by the iPhone

how is 1 and 2 true at the same time?

It seems more like he set boundaries, then let his daughter run past them. Setting boundaries is hard, it takes strength, but you can't sacrifice boundaries to "keep the peace". Short team peace is long term hell.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#65

Post by synaesthesisx »

"A real public health issue is widespread apathy, likely as a byproduct of enough easy to access content to basically numb you in a cloud of short-term dopamine hits in exchange for long-term lack of fulfillment and motivation." - @nikillinit

"The modern devil is cheap dopamine." - @naval

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#66

Post by adamzapasnik »

I think a lot of people are missing the point. That could be attributed to the poor title, though.

The way I see it, pre-phone their daughter was probably much more engaged with her parents and was doing more manual creative stuff. After the phone appeared, she distanced herself and got absorbed by it.

I don't get why so many people here are trying to defend smartphones/social media?

Isn't it pretty obvious they are addictive? And to a young kid, that doesn't know any better, it can get really bad.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#67

Post by abfan1127 »

KungFuJohnny wrote: post #2

Title is completely misleading. The problem has nothing to do with an iPhone. It has 100% to do with bad parenting. The author even acknowledges this, but I guess blaming the iPhone gets more clicks than "Poor parenting harms child".

I think you're right. giving in to "keep the peace" is the road to hell. As a parent of a 4, 8, and 13 yo, boundaries are incredibly important. Draw the line. Grow a back bone, pay the short term price for the long term investment.

Parenting isn't easy. But most rewarding things aren't.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#68

Post by buzzerbetrayed »

ed25519FUUU wrote: post #49
parksy wrote: post #45

My dad smashed my computer around the laundry (where the computer lived) with my cricket bat because I was "playing games" instead of studying. "playing games" was using assembly language and pascal with s3m libraries to program a game. With my kids I've felt the rise of anger when they want to be autonomous and pursue their own interests. I mean, I was taught that parenthood is subjugation. But just like my dad coul…

You are a lucky one, because at that time to your interests in computing would lead to job opportunities. I’m afraid it is not so with an iPhone. Our phones take without giving. Now excuse me I should probably log off and do something useful.

> my dad couldn't realise that there was a rising future in gaming as an industry or the internet, because it was so far removed from his traditional roots

Why are you so convinced this sentence isn't going to describe you in 20 years?

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#69

Post by pwinnski »

ed25519FUUU wrote: post #49
parksy wrote: post #45

My dad smashed my computer around the laundry (where the computer lived) with my cricket bat because I was "playing games" instead of studying. "playing games" was using assembly language and pascal with s3m libraries to program a game. With my kids I've felt the rise of anger when they want to be autonomous and pursue their own interests. I mean, I was taught that parenthood is subjugation. But just like my dad coul…

You are a lucky one, because at that time to your interests in computing would lead to job opportunities. I’m afraid it is not so with an iPhone. Our phones take without giving. Now excuse me I should probably log off and do something useful.

The head of technical support at the company for which I work recently quit her job to support her husband's streaming career. He makes in three months more than I do in a year.

This idea that things like iPhones, or video games, or any other piece of technology cannot possibly be productive or profitable in the future, it's got to die.

When I was young, my passion for computers meant I wouldn't become the lawyer people suggested I should be, but now I make more than most of my lawyer friends. Things change, and "using an iPhone" may end up being the key to future happiness, career opportunities, or who knows what?

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#70

Post by onemoresoop »

berberous wrote: post #33
Ishmaeli wrote: post #7

Looks like correlation, not causation. Our precocious angels have been transforming into sullen monsters at the onset of adolescence since the beginning of time. Do we really think they would have stayed precocious angels forever, if only they had never discovered comic books or rock'n'roll or TV or video games or whatever the current teenage vice happens to be? Sure, there is good evidence that smartphones are more…

I had the opposite take. I also feel like an addict with my iPhone, and I’m old enough that they didn’t exist when I was a teenager. I’m not sure why the author thinks waiting until her daughter was 14 would have changed much, she would just end up addicted then.

She'd get a childhood without being a phone junkie. 9 hours a day is extremely worrying for an adult to spend on a phone but for a child it is way worse, they are in their formative years and that would turn into their baseline
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