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A researcher on how to live a happy life

ox.ac.uk

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Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#61

Post by edgarvaldes »

hinkley wrote: post #44

There's a bit of a trap here that I find myself standing in. Parts of our culture are participatory. You get social benefits from going through the same things as your peers. When you stop getting sucked into things by your insecurities, you become non-participatory. You miss out on chances to connect with other people. There is no bonding experience for you, but there is for everybody else. It can be kind of alienat…

>You aren't part of the same experience

I think that you(we) never are.

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#62

Post by fetefit402 »

Oh look, a cis white guy telling people that they can be happy by using his app.

While I do agree that people should be introspective, this fails to address the fact that many people are oppressed and put into distress through no fault of their own. Giving this message to those people implies that it is their fault they are unhappy, rather than the socio-economic status/situation they may find themselves in. It's like telling black people the reason they're unhappy can be solved through meditation when they are literally being killed by the police.

I know in the US we like to think a lot about our individual success/happiness but, while I do think this is something we may be able to improve on our own, I think there are greater gains to be had by addressing the systemic issues in our society.

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#64

Post by mping »

saltedonion wrote: post #47
WhompingWindows wrote: post #6

For me, I have become happier in the moment via insight meditation, which focuses on noticing thoughts and feelings without action or reaction. Part of the wisdom of meditation lies in the following: There is baggage we all carry, the self, this belief we're the center of it all, the author of (and subservient to) our own thoughts. How do I stop doing what makes me unhappy, if that's "who I am"? But, in reality, I ca…

Very insightful. Please share more. I’ve been taking up meditation and bubiddism but still very much a novice. I find that as you open your mind and see through more things, in a way things gets less interesting. It’s that feeling that you’ve seen this movie before. Maybe this is normal for older people but I’m in my 20s and it feels very odd. How do you deal with that and not feel like a zombie.

Things get less interesting because you get detached from what people consider worldly pleasures. In Buddhism, happiness comes from cutting afflictions down through training and practice.

If you find a good knowing teacher, they can guide you through a process where you can attain the bliss of meditation, which is completely worth it and different from "regular" happiness.

As you practice, this newfound happiness becomes ingrained and you become happier. It's very natural.

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#66

Post by [deleted] »

mping wrote: post #64
saltedonion wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Very insightful. Please share more. I’ve been taking up meditation and bubiddism but still very much a novice. I find that as you open your mind and see through more things, in a way things gets less interesting. It’s that feeling that you’ve seen this movie before. Maybe this is normal for older people but I’m in my 20s and it feels very odd. How do you deal with that and not feel like a zombie.

Things get less interesting because you get detached from what people consider worldly pleasures. In Buddhism, happiness comes from cutting afflictions down through training and practice. If you find a good knowing teacher, they can guide you through a process where you can attain the bliss of meditation, which is completely worth it and different from "regular" happiness. As you practice, this newfound happiness bec…

[deleted]

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#67

Post by playing_colours »

saltedonion wrote: post #47
WhompingWindows wrote: post #6

For me, I have become happier in the moment via insight meditation, which focuses on noticing thoughts and feelings without action or reaction. Part of the wisdom of meditation lies in the following: There is baggage we all carry, the self, this belief we're the center of it all, the author of (and subservient to) our own thoughts. How do I stop doing what makes me unhappy, if that's "who I am"? But, in reality, I ca…

Very insightful. Please share more. I’ve been taking up meditation and bubiddism but still very much a novice. I find that as you open your mind and see through more things, in a way things gets less interesting. It’s that feeling that you’ve seen this movie before. Maybe this is normal for older people but I’m in my 20s and it feels very odd. How do you deal with that and not feel like a zombie.

I guess many things are interesting just because they produce dopamine spikes, they are kind of superficial, and meditation reveals it. Meditation does not erase deep and sustained interests in me.

But maybe it is age - I am in my mid 30s.

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#68

Post by zwkrt »

WhompingWindows wrote: post #6

For me, I have become happier in the moment via insight meditation, which focuses on noticing thoughts and feelings without action or reaction. Part of the wisdom of meditation lies in the following: There is baggage we all carry, the self, this belief we're the center of it all, the author of (and subservient to) our own thoughts. How do I stop doing what makes me unhappy, if that's "who I am"? But, in reality, I ca…

Don’t minimize the importance of acting though if you constantly find the same stressors intruding on your thoughts. If meditation helps you deal with street noise, that’s great, but you might also consider closing the window.

I see lots of meditative techniques suggested to employees of larger companies through the likes of Happify, but if people really listened to their bodies their employers would be in for big trouble!

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#69

Post by baron_harkonnen »

> Almost no one thinks about actively retraining the way they think. In fact, I don’t think this last idea even crosses most of our minds.

Really? I'm pretty sure there are thousands of years of philosophical and religious traditions that teach something along the lines of "looking for happiness in the external world is a bad idea, instead try working on yourself".

I mean the four noble truths of Buddhism, a religion with roughly 0.5 billion followers, are (paraphrased):

1. There is suffering

2. That suffering is caused by attachment to worldly things

3. The way to get rid of that suffering is to work on not being attached to those things

4. The best way to work on not being attached to those things is, surprise surprise, Buddhism.

But this idea seems pretty prevalent in pop-psychology as well. So I'm not sure who the we in "our minds" is, but I think even most instagram celebrates of realized that maybe "self work" is a good idea.

Unfortunately there are some philosophers that, in the last 300 years, have started to question whether there is such a clear divide between the external and internal world... but I don't expect most people to spend their time reading a lot of philosophy.

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#70

Post by darkerside »

nikivi wrote: post #17
foobiekr wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why is that sad? Situational depression is the best of many bad options as it’s the case where a badly needed change can actually have outsized impact.

By sad I meant that the solution was mostly out of my control. Pure chance that it happened.

> mostly out of my control

Seems like it would be totally in your control to leave school and start working. Remember that for next time you find yourself "trapped".

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