61–70 of 375 posts
> She would say, “Dave, you only got one award this year. Remember when you won seven last year?” > If it wasn’t that, maybe it was also because I am gay. My mother was never really happy about this Ah, the absolute pinnacle of neurosis parenting. That's a solid one-two punch to the child's psyche, which gives them a drive to please while at the same time ensuring it can never be met. Well done; you ensured your chil…
Heh this is only a very mild version of status obsession. To a degree it's actually a good thing to want, so long as you stay committed to doing the actual work of getting successful. What amuses me to no end is when I see a rich guy who wants to keep being in the news. As if to say "see, I actually deserve all this wealth". I've seen several of these people over the years. Somehow the media keep calling them to comm…
"People can't see it, but they are swapping dignity for attention." Nice observation, though in rare cases not necessarily true. The thing is, as you point out, status does actually bring potentially huge benefits; People start to come to you with proposals, rather than the other way. Success/Status attracts opportunity. So to some extent we're hardwired to strive for it.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
That's precisely my point regarding the rat race - what is one trying to catch up to? Is there economic or social anxiety at 350k/yr which evaporates at 400k/yr?
Absolutely. Purchasing real estate (or even a Tesla, etc) is out of reach for people like me, and likely will be for 10+ years from now. Say someone makes 150% or more of what I make (ergo are valued 150% superior in a fair labor market) and they can save far more and build a their net worth significantly faster even with a more luxurious lifestyle.
This isn't valid for 100% of the folks obviously, but say 95% fall into this trap one way or the other. It is paradoxically easiest for folks already burdened with ie mortgage, because usually the motivation to pay it back sooner trumps the need for some extra gadgets and to show off.
You know what's funny? Their overall long term happiness and life satisfaction doesn't improve a bit. In fact, in many cases it goes down due to ie extra worries about good investments.
> Should I learn to make pasta from scratch? No, that’s crazy. Nobody cares if you can make pasta from scratch and it’s not going to make any money. I think the author got it wrong here. He mixes the words "successful" with "fame". By learning a skill like making pasta from scratch, you can make yourself and other people happy. And if you go deep into the field, you can even make money on it, if that's important to y…
And it hurts my career. I don't have twitter followers who fall over themselves to offer me a job the very second I enter the job market. I can't shame a company or other big entity for behaving badly. I have very little leverage for many important career-improving opportunities because I lack the social clout to take advantage of them.
You NEED to attain some status and influence if you want the best control over your destiny. I'm trying to do this now, but it's hard because it doesn't come naturally.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Say someone makes 150% or more of what I make (ergo are valued 150% superior in a fair labor market) and they can save far more and build a their net worth significantly faster even with a more luxurious lifestyle That person thinks the same way about someone who earns 150% more than them ... this cycle never stops
If anything it seems to get worse the further up the pyramid you are....
I don't live up to other peoples expectations, their expectations are irrelevant to me. I have my own expectations.
I did learn to make the macaroni and perfect it. Since perfection is personal preference it's better than the fancy restaurant.
The horse is behind the cart. We make the money to buy the macaroni. I go straight for the macaroni. There is no money in learning to tie your own shoes or make your own bed? ha-ha
I look at this from the opposite perspective, the person who doesn't care much for success and prestige but has to deal with the toxic side-effects of those that do. I grew up an only child in as single parent household where I was taught that it's better to quietly build a stable secure foundation for your life, rather than to put yourself "out there" and hope for the best. My mothers attitude was that it is better…
How do people like that ever get investment? Like, surely the investors must think, "well, they just screwed up their last 4 or 5 startups so maybe I'll keep my money."
> She would say, “Dave, you only got one award this year. Remember when you won seven last year?” > If it wasn’t that, maybe it was also because I am gay. My mother was never really happy about this Ah, the absolute pinnacle of neurosis parenting. That's a solid one-two punch to the child's psyche, which gives them a drive to please while at the same time ensuring it can never be met. Well done; you ensured your chil…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
That's precisely my point regarding the rat race - what is one trying to catch up to? Is there economic or social anxiety at 350k/yr which evaporates at 400k/yr?
Absolutely. Purchasing real estate (or even a Tesla, etc) is out of reach for people like me, and likely will be for 10+ years from now. Say someone makes 150% or more of what I make (ergo are valued 150% superior in a fair labor market) and they can save far more and build a their net worth significantly faster even with a more luxurious lifestyle.
This isn't valid for 100% of the folks obviously, but say 90% fall into this trap one way or the other. It is paradoxically easiest for folks already burdened with ie mortgage, because usually the motivation to pay it back sooner trumps the need for some extra gadgets and to show off.
You know what's funny? Their overall long term happiness and life satisfaction doesn't improve a bit. In fact, in many cases it goes down due to ie extra worries about good investments, plus you earn cash by doing extra work.
Myself I increased my net income compared to my first full time IT job more than 20x in last 15 years, and I can tell you happiness comes from different place. Money just help a tiny bit on the path to it, that's all. Some folks, especially those competitive that article talks about, will never be truly happy. Of course is you live in like US with utterly broken healthcare, in some cases money can actually mean saved/improved life, but that's a bit special use case.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Absolutely. Purchasing real estate (or even a Tesla, etc) is out of reach for people like me, and likely will be for 10+ years from now. Say someone makes 150% or more of what I make (ergo are valued 150% superior in a fair labor market) and they can save far more and build a their net worth significantly faster even with a more luxurious lifestyle.
But the person earning 150% more than _them_ isn't purchasing a Tesla. It's a Lamborghini or a Bugatti. It's not a 3br home in SF - it's a summer home in Napa, or a chalet in Tahoe. The person earning 150% more than _them_ is coveting the latest Bell Jetranger, or Gulfstream G700. The obsession for more is the same at all levels.
Ultimately the super-rich that can afford those things are still orders of magnitude richer than people that just save/conservatively invest.