Earlier quoted context omitted.
You are forgetting about a 17th-century invention based on running water [1] which, by the way, to this day is considered by many to be significantly more hygienic than wiping. [1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bidet
That device doesn't seem very portable. I guess there are trade-offs to everything.
Yes, they don't leave the bathrooms... which is where >99% of your #2's take place.