Evolutionary psychology says that women are looking for men who have the characteristics of a strong leader. That means assertiveness, calm, self-confidence, happiness, etc. If you look around, that seems to be very much true. I don't think women are necessarily paying that much attention to wealth, but it definitely seems like they are drawn to confident and charismatic men. Men on the other hand, don't seem to mind if a woman is shy or anxious.
It puts you in a tough spot, as a male, because you want to be truthful and honest, express your feelings in a genuine way, but at the same time, there's that voice in your head, that strong societal pressure telling you that telling a woman that you are afraid, anxious or unsure might push her away. I've had a situation recently where a woman suggested that she wanted to sleep with me and came back to my place. We were both shy and nothing happened. She suggested that our being too shy was my fault, that I should have broken the ice and made her feel comfortable, and then she left. I kid you not. My self-esteem was shattered for a week afterwards.
This kind of thing is hard to cope with. I think I obviously need to pick kinder women to go on dates with, but I understand why so many men are drawn to alcohol and drug use. It's because they feel society can't accept those feelings of inadequacy and anxiety that they have... And they're partially right. As a male, if you show weakness, you can lose social standing. I think attitudes are maturing and it's easier to be truthful and honest as a modern male, but it's still tough. The worst part is that it seems society generally does not give a shit about the struggles men go through. The popular narrative is all about oppression of women by men, and there isn't that much room for listening to the issues men face. I know that's how it feels to a lot of people. Anyways, just my two cents. To the men who struggle out there, you are not alone, and I hope that you can find good friends who are willing to listen to you.