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The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

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Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#61

Post by gnosis »

joe_the_user wrote: post #50
JanezStupar wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No risk no glory! Only the ones that are willing to fail repeatedly are the ones who deserve to win. What I'm trying to imply here that taking risks while maximizing your odds is also a skill. A super hot woman (or GS executive) both appreciate confidence and candor. They don't want to be treated as "different" - to return to that hot woman - she doesn't want to be treated as special. Looking into mirror is enough to…

I know a founder of one of the top silicone valley start-ups. He's a great guy and when I happen to see him it's fine to chat. He's very busy so I don't see him very often. This relationship gets me zero, zilch, practical benefits. It's fluke that I know him. Would I expend a lot of effort to get ten relationships with similarly well-connected people? No, because it would rather insincere and would get me ten times a…

Silicone valley? Is that where all the hot models hang out?

More seriously, you might not have realized any huge benefits from this relationship with your founder friend, but that doesn't mean there aren't some significant potential benefits to your relationship.

Say you just happened to have a wonderful new product that your friend's company could use. A short chat with your founder friend about this product could be worth quite a lot.

Likewise, if you needed or wanted some advice from him, the advice of a founder could be worth a lot, as could any introductions to his peers that he might be willing to make.

Just think about it a bit, and I'm sure you could come up with dozens of other potential benefits.

Of course, such a relationship shouldn't be one-sided. There's a great book called "One Phone Call Away" by Jeffrey Meshel, who's main point is that the best way to network is to help people without expecting anything in return. Highly recommended.

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#62

Post by joe_the_user »

A corollary to this that I've heard from the sales end, is that one actually doesn't want to "pump buying temperature" to maximum.

The argument I've heard is that it's more effective to sell someone on you or your product being appealing yet practical rather than convincing them that you or your product are the hottest thing on the planet (but there's always the "expensive decoy product" mentioned in the link yesterday).

This is generalization too, of course, but it seems reasonable.

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#63

Post by woodall »

goodside wrote: post #18

"Actually, I’ve found that the more successful and accomplished people are, typically, it seems like the more humble and friendly they are. Additionally, they tend to appreciate the value of networking and make an effort to meet new people." Nope! This is non-evidence. Successful people who are arrogant and antisocial are by nature less likely to run into you, so you should expect your observed pool of people-you-kno…

>A similar phenomenon occurs in social network rankings: For any given person with a reasonable number of Facebook friends, their friends will be, on average, more popular than the original person (popularity defined by number of friends). Almost everyone is one of the least popular people in their own social network.

Is there a name for this phenomenon? Or supplemental reading material?

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#64

Post by cperciva »

simonw wrote: post #29

This reflects something I've noticed at some conferences: the keynote speaker is often alone in the bar afterwards, looking bored because no one gets up the nerve to talk to them.

That sometimes happens, but often keynote speakers are left alone because nobody's interested in talking to them. Keynotes speakers are often prominent individuals from outside the narrow field of the conference, and often wildly misjudge what conference attendees will be interested in hearing about.

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#65

Post by danenania »

In my opinion the real problem is this creepy glorification of people for their looks or social status.

Guys who are obsessed with dating hot girls are really just obsessed with how others perceive them, which makes them lame to be around. Same with social climbers.

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#66

Post by mkramlich »

danudey wrote: post #30
yason wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wonder how many rejections a man would have to face to develop a "cockiness shield", to continue pursuing and hitting on women no matter how rejected he becomes. After all, it's a small effort for a potentially good returns. With practice he could certainly toughen up with regard to that but I think that by doing so he would inevitably have shut out part of his heart. Getting rejected by a woman is hard for a man.…

I had a landlord once who wasn't very social, and as a result wasn't very good with women (but he was a specialized mechanic and made a ton of money). Was talking to him one day, and he said that his therapist had given him an assignment to get out of his shell. His assignment was to go to a bar (or any sort of similar place) and get rejected by ten women. That is, between that session and his next (the span of a wee…

> his goal was to get shot down by ten women in a social situation. Not necessarily crash and burn, but some kind of rejection.

the beauty of that is that if you fail at that goal, it means you didn't get rejected!

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#67

Post by FooBarWidget »

nikster wrote: post #51
alanthonyc wrote: post #10

From the article: "Once a girl passes a certain degree of hotness, the amount of guys hitting on her drops dramatically." However, I know of a different version. If (as a guy) you are seen to date a hot girl, then the chances of you dating other hot girls goes up. They want to know what you've got. I'm guessing this applies to VC as well.

Absolutely true. Wait until you get married - suddenly chicks hit on you all the time. It's like... WTF? Just two days ago, I sit in an outdoors bar, all alone, and order a beer. Now the other rule is that if you're all by yourself, nobody will approach you because you might be weird. Two hot girls sit down on the next table. And every time I look over, one of them gives me the biggest "please come over to talk to me…

How do those girls know you're married?

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#68

Post by danudey »

sudont wrote: post #41
danudey wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I had a landlord once who wasn't very social, and as a result wasn't very good with women (but he was a specialized mechanic and made a ton of money). Was talking to him one day, and he said that his therapist had given him an assignment to get out of his shell. His assignment was to go to a bar (or any sort of similar place) and get rejected by ten women. That is, between that session and his next (the span of a wee…

Since you didn't phrase this in terms of "Rejection Therapy" I have to assume it didn't pop up on your radar. It was pretty popular on here a couple of weeks ago, and Jason Shen even did a series about trying it out. How long ago was this? The therapist was probably ahead of his time!

This was around 2001 or so, I think. Never really thought about it until today, so I've never looked it up. Always seemed like a good idea though.

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#69

Post by dsgrweger »

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Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#70

Post by JanezStupar »

joe_the_user wrote: post #50
JanezStupar wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No risk no glory! Only the ones that are willing to fail repeatedly are the ones who deserve to win. What I'm trying to imply here that taking risks while maximizing your odds is also a skill. A super hot woman (or GS executive) both appreciate confidence and candor. They don't want to be treated as "different" - to return to that hot woman - she doesn't want to be treated as special. Looking into mirror is enough to…

I know a founder of one of the top silicone valley start-ups. He's a great guy and when I happen to see him it's fine to chat. He's very busy so I don't see him very often. This relationship gets me zero, zilch, practical benefits. It's fluke that I know him. Would I expend a lot of effort to get ten relationships with similarly well-connected people? No, because it would rather insincere and would get me ten times a…

Are you of any benefit to your founder friend? My personal strategy is that I constantly work on maximizing myself as benefit to others. This gives me an edge - where I can actually pick such partners that return appropriate value. Increasing demand is actually really simple - just offer better (sought after) goods.

As far as the poor pretty girl that needs to hit on guys. Unfortunately it doesn't work this way. Its got a lot to do with guy's and girl's insecurities.

1. Hot woman hitting on a guy - The natural reaction of the said guy is "It's a trap!". 2. Having to hit on guys is awful for this woman - since less pretty girls don't need to do it. Which starts spinning up in a persons mind that you must be some sort of freak since a) mend don't hit on you and b) when you try to hit on men they run away ("It's a trap!").

Oh and the glory thing is just a parable for success.

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