Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Sperm-Donor Siblings: A Family Portrait

nytimes.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

61–68 of 68 posts

Re: Sperm-Donor Siblings: A Family Portrait

#61

Post by toomuchtodo »

komali2 wrote: post #36
thrw19 wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do you think things would have been different for you, if you knew about it since you were a child? I'm a 35 years old male that can't have kids. Not possible, say the doctors. I love children and me and my wife are considering using a sperm donor. Should all work as we hope, we are not sure how to approach exactly this situation of telling our child about it. At first I thought we should just keep it a secret, but t…

I was born out of wedlock to a mom that was single by the time I was born, and have never met the biological father. She wrote a little picture book explaining what a biological father is, how it's different than my "Dad" (she had since married someone unrelated), and there was even a little photograph of him in there. And lots of stuff about how her and my dad love me a ton and how it's not a big deal. So I grew up…

Have you considered using DNA testing to track down your father or related family of theirs? I’m not suggesting it, but just trying to understand the feelings that go along with possibly having the ability to have unanswered questions answered.

Re: Sperm-Donor Siblings: A Family Portrait

#62

Post by hereinseattle »

ahelwer wrote: post #27
ip26 wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sort of, but from what I have heard, being a donor is also absurdly competitive due to the low marginal cost to the donor. Every prospective parent wants their child's donor-father to be a 4.0 GPA valedictorian ivy league graduate, captain of the football team, leader of men, captain of industry. Or maybe visionary researcher, famous scientist. Or perhaps top-billing hollywood actor, or decorated military hero. And,…

I don't think this is true. There are ads for becoming a sperm donor on the Seattle light rail.

The target for those ads is most likely college students. As someone not famous, slightly above average height, with a good but not-outstanding-for-Seattle career, I can attest that at least some prospective parents seem to be satisfied with my description. At least based on how often I have to get my blood re-tested in order to release more vials.

Re: Sperm-Donor Siblings: A Family Portrait

#63

Post by pndy »

Donor Unknown [1][2] is a documentary film about this topic; young woman, daughter of two women tries to find her biological father and on the way, she reaches and makes contact with her other 12 siblings.

[1] - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donor_Unknown

[2] - http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/films/donor-unknown/

Re: Sperm-Donor Siblings: A Family Portrait

#64

Post by faissaloo »

shagie wrote: post #49
faissaloo wrote: post #34

Is anyone else concerned about a reduction in genetic diversity?

The donor is nowhere close to the impact that Genghis Kahn had on the Y chromosome. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1180246/ - and that was in the 11th century with a total word population of about 400M. A few dozen children from one father today, in a world with a population of 7.5B should not be any concern.

Yeah but that was also an anomaly, which isn't the same as repeatedly decreasing genetic diversity over a number of generations.

Re: Sperm-Donor Siblings: A Family Portrait

#66

Post by Simon_says »

silencio wrote: post #58
bobthechef wrote: post #55

Sperm banks should be outlawed. Please don't interpret that to mean that children -- people! -- conceived using that method are any less human. That would be an incorrect and grossly unjust reading of what I've written. First of all, it introduces disorder into society. Family relations are thrown into chaos. Incest and inbreeding become bigger problems. Furthermore, half of the extended family disappear. You've only…

as a person that gave birth to a child, married to a woman, no. stop. i also see a lot of disgusting sexism in the assumption that men cannot be solo parents or be partnered to other men that both want to be parents. you seem to know nothing about assisted reproduction and you should inform yourself and address your cisheterosexism before you speak again on this topic. edit: i’m so infuriated i missed the part about…

I don't think anyone is arguing that "men cannot be solo parents", just that it's a better situation with two parents. There are also some who believe that having both male and female role models is better.

Re: Sperm-Donor Siblings: A Family Portrait

#67

Post by komali2 »

toomuchtodo wrote: post #61
komali2 wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was born out of wedlock to a mom that was single by the time I was born, and have never met the biological father. She wrote a little picture book explaining what a biological father is, how it's different than my "Dad" (she had since married someone unrelated), and there was even a little photograph of him in there. And lots of stuff about how her and my dad love me a ton and how it's not a big deal. So I grew up…

Have you considered using DNA testing to track down your father or related family of theirs? I’m not suggesting it, but just trying to understand the feelings that go along with possibly having the ability to have unanswered questions answered.

I don't really care to track him down, but this article did convince me to finally pull the trigger on 23andme, so I can at least see some of my genetic health risks.

My biological father is nobody to me - he has no bearing on my identity and I don't see the need to meet him (to answer your question).

Re: Sperm-Donor Siblings: A Family Portrait

#68

Post by alistairSH »

gnulinux wrote: post #56
alistairSH wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Obviously, if that hadn't happened, they wouldn't be around to resent it The parent(s) could have used a non-anonymous donor. Perhaps that's just too awkward for many people.

I mean, as a severely autistic man, I would love to have a child from a non-anonymous woman but that doesn't seem possible so the only the option for me seems to be adoption. I can absolutely relate with woman who want to have children but cannot find a father. I sincerely hope their children will be loved and happy.

I was thinking of lesbian couples using anonymous donors (as was the case in the article). If one has a brother, or either has a close male friend, they could use his sperm. Or, gay couples using a surrogate (vs adoption).

Definitely brings up other questions/issues arise there, but avoids the "will my kid have 42 step-siblings?" and similar questions.

Post reply on HN