Earlier quoted context omitted.
Back in the 1960s, if you were black and seated at a lunch counter, a white person would spit in your face. Which was considered perfectly civil for a lot of white people. In some cultures, at various times (including today), the civil thing to do is to berate and even beat a woman if she appears in public without covering her hair or face. To the guy in the story, telling someone to not use the plastic water bottle…
Those were not civil actions for civilly minded people. Of course, people loathe each other behind closed doors and the less respectable people bring it out in public. Let me ask you this, would such an interaction as described in the OP comment happen in Japan? They seem to understand the importance of respect.
Civil actions by civilly-minded people has ranged throughout history, from the early alliances of warring Greek states, to the dogmatic ethics of religion, to the Enlightenment's person-centered morality and identity.
As you're familiar with Japan, you must know how in WWII the American population was shocked into supporting the war by stories of Japanese 'savages' cutting off heads of their victims - even though the Guillotine and hanging was seen as the more 'civil' form of execution by Westerners for centuries before. Today, if you use a cell phone on a train in Japan, literally everyone around you will leap towards you to scold you for using your phone - good luck getting that reaction in NYC.
Civility is nuanced and multifaceted, and it's hard to tell at any given time what all people consider 'civil'. My main point was, to that guy lecturing about bottled water, he probably thought he was being very civil.