Sample size of 200 with no baseline. Ignore the study.
Teen monitoring apps don't work, and drive a wedge between teens and parents
61–70 of 158 posts
Re: Teen monitoring apps don't work, and drive a wedge between teens and parents
#62Apple doesn't make it possible to have reasonable controls on an iOS device, unfortunately. There is no fine-grained way to say what apps can be used when, what web sites can be used or not used, etc. Even things that seem like they should work (e.g., "Allow the Amazon Kindle app but not Safari") don't, because of hidden features that breaks Kindle when Safari isn't enabled. I've tried many apps, including Qustodio.…
> There is no fine-grained way to say what apps can be used when, what web sites can be used or not used, etc.
I'm surprised to hear that. We've had the smaller model iPod for a couple of years now. I have parental restrictions on and my daughter can't install (thus, not use) apps that I do not approve, nor can she visit any websites that I do not whitelist. Both features are stock, no third party app needed. The former only required adding the device to my family sharing group and ticking a box requiring her to ask permission before downloading an app.
My opinion is that there is definitely an in-between, but you're correct in saying that time limit enforcement would be quite useful.
Re: Teen monitoring apps don't work, and drive a wedge between teens and parents
#63Ah no mention of Black Mirror’s “Arkangel” yet? Haha go watch it.
Re: Teen monitoring apps don't work, and drive a wedge between teens and parents
#64When I was a young boy in the 90s, my libertarian aligned father let me use the computer and access the internet. He explained to me that I shouldn't visit certain type of sites, I should never give out my name or address and that he had software installed to monitor what happened on the computer. He explained that this wasn't a breach of trust between us as I was using his equipment and that I had to abide by his ru…
That's all very reasonable.
What I hear from parent around me come straight out of a dystopian novel. 24/7 GPS tracking, Webcam monitoring at random moments of the day, silent alarms when the child visits certain websites, silent alarms when the child enter certain stores and locations, etc.
That's 16-18 years old teens I'm talking about. By that time, the child should be well on its way to becoming an adult. They should be teaching their kids about freedom, the cost of mistakes and the weight of their actions.
Instead, we have kids growing up a bubble. Once they reach legal age, they rip them out of that bubble and throw them into a strange world they learned nothing about.
No wonder you then end up with people that are not very mature or have issues.
Re: Teen monitoring apps don't work, and drive a wedge between teens and parents
#65Earlier quoted context omitted.
What consequences could you imagine a parent should allow a 10 year old to experience? The consequences of an abnormal sexual development or an unhealthy attitude towards females due to stumbling across hardcore porn and becoming addicted to it at a young age? The consequences of mistaking someone on the internet as a friend and giving them your full address and name so they could bring you ice cream? There are thing…
>The consequences of an abnormal sexual development or an unhealthy attitude towards females due to stumbling across hardcore porn and becoming addicted to it at a young age? Do you have evidence/sources to back this claim?
Would you really let your 10 year old watch porn?
Re: Teen monitoring apps don't work, and drive a wedge between teens and parents
#66Trust. But verify. Step-father of a 12 year old boy here. We started monitoring his internet after we caught him looking at inappropriate videos on youtube. He knows he is being monitored and I only block actual porn sites. Neither of us like it but until he has earned our trust back, the situation will not change. I'm his parent, not his friend. My job isn't to make him like me, it's to raise him with proper values…
And making things forbidden won't encourage a 12 year old to find a way to get to it anyway? The hormonal boy will just say "porn is blocked here, I won't look at titties until my parents says it's ok"?
Re: Teen monitoring apps don't work, and drive a wedge between teens and parents
#67Trust. But verify. Step-father of a 12 year old boy here. We started monitoring his internet after we caught him looking at inappropriate videos on youtube. He knows he is being monitored and I only block actual porn sites. Neither of us like it but until he has earned our trust back, the situation will not change. I'm his parent, not his friend. My job isn't to make him like me, it's to raise him with proper values…
"Inappropriate videos on youtube", like what?
Re: Teen monitoring apps don't work, and drive a wedge between teens and parents
#68When I was a young boy in the 90s, my libertarian aligned father let me use the computer and access the internet. He explained to me that I shouldn't visit certain type of sites, I should never give out my name or address and that he had software installed to monitor what happened on the computer. He explained that this wasn't a breach of trust between us as I was using his equipment and that I had to abide by his ru…
Except that (assuming you define "young boy" anything like I do, and you live in the developed world) you were not free to get a job, due to child labor laws and mandatory schooling. I can't be too annoyed at your father, since most people don't even see the need to justify parents or teachers exercising authority over children, but if you ARE going to try to philosophically justify it, pretending that a child is jus…
I could of babysat, asked neighbors for help with yard work, shovel snow or asked my parents if there were things that I could do on our property to earn an income. I got my first job when I was 15.
I do want to point out that my father never filtered my internet. He just let me know that any site I visited was being tracked and that I should take that into consideration when being online. I maintained complete autonomy online and my parents did not lie or obscure what they were doing. I would say that this prepared me well for what would become 'social media' over a decade later.
This parental tracking actually became a game of cat and mouse and I learned more about computers because of this. I was intrigued about how things could be monitored, how the OS and file systems worked. I ended up going to a vocational school for computer networking.
Re: Teen monitoring apps don't work, and drive a wedge between teens and parents
#69Trust. But verify. Step-father of a 12 year old boy here. We started monitoring his internet after we caught him looking at inappropriate videos on youtube. He knows he is being monitored and I only block actual porn sites. Neither of us like it but until he has earned our trust back, the situation will not change. I'm his parent, not his friend. My job isn't to make him like me, it's to raise him with proper values…
When I was growing up, I delighted in breaking all of the layers of security my parents loaded up the computers in the house with. I never relented when they tried to block something and they only escalated things, including physically locking away electronics (which also didn't work, I learned how to pick locks and gained access to electronics in other ways), then even further escalations ensued. The main effect of this was not that I couldn't access content they didn't like, but that our relationship soured to the point where I moved out two days after turning 18 and none of us spoke for a few years.
Blocking things will only encourage your son to try harder to get at them and to become more secretive with you, and will have lasting damage on your relationship, especially if you double down when he inevitably works around your blocks. You cannot control him, and he is not yours to control. Remember, your son is an entirely independent person who is growing up much faster than you realize.
Re: Teen monitoring apps don't work, and drive a wedge between teens and parents
#70When I was a young boy in the 90s, my libertarian aligned father let me use the computer and access the internet. He explained to me that I shouldn't visit certain type of sites, I should never give out my name or address and that he had software installed to monitor what happened on the computer. He explained that this wasn't a breach of trust between us as I was using his equipment and that I had to abide by his ru…
Except that (assuming you define "young boy" anything like I do, and you live in the developed world) you were not free to get a job, due to child labor laws and mandatory schooling. I can't be too annoyed at your father, since most people don't even see the need to justify parents or teachers exercising authority over children, but if you ARE going to try to philosophically justify it, pretending that a child is jus…
I was able to purchase a $1,000 computer when I was 14 due to smart saving of my money. While it isn't possible for everyone, I did grow up in a middle/upper middle class family where it was possible.