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The Mating Crisis Among Educated Women

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Re: The Mating Crisis Among Educated Women

#61

Post by niuzeta »

alva wrote: post #16
vowelless wrote: post #3

> They end up being forced to compete for the limited pool of educated men not just with their more numerous educated rivals, but also with less educated women whom men find desirable on other dimensions. Considering that we want to eliminate any gaps between the genders, why are educated women limited to educated men of their own ages? Why not increase the pool like men do: go for more younger, possibly less educate…

> If men can increase their pool size, why not women? Women can, it is just they don't want to due to what the majority express as desirable characteristics. It is a sad state of affairs that make both men and women worse off. I know several women in their mid-thirties who adamantly refuse to consider long term partnership with perceived low status males (along lines of status, power, wealth and education). The main…

> I know several women in their mid-thirties who adamantly refuse to consider long term partnership with perceived low status males (along lines of status, power, wealth and education).

Lowering standards aside, this attitude alone would be off-putting for most men, high-status ones especially. What do they bring to the table? Certainly humility isn't one of them.

Re: The Mating Crisis Among Educated Women

#62

Post by golemiprague »

jimmywanger wrote: post #19

I'm not trying to incite a flamewar here, and this will probably be downvoted to death. Well, the argument here should be: Men don't find education and accomplishment as attractive as women do - they find youth and beauty important also. Therefore, in order to attract a mate, logically women should try to attract a mate when they're younger, and try to improve the way they look. They should not be trying to get more…

Good luck trying to explain this simple reality of life. Youth is very important to males because of the diminishing ability of women to reproduce as they get closer to 40, with males it is much later. It is biology 101 but today mentioning biology as a reason to anything related to the relations between sexes is a heresy.

Re: The Mating Crisis Among Educated Women

#64

Post by xor1 »

Anderkent wrote: post #40
xor1 wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No one is entitled to being in a relationship. No one is entitled to having a partner.

And that's relevant how? Entitled or not, we generally think that if would be better if people who want relationships were in relationships.

>Entitled or not, we generally think that if would be better if people who want relationships were in relationships.

In a perfect world, sure. Sadly, we are discussing reality here.

Re: The Mating Crisis Among Educated Women

#65

Post by amag »

xor1 wrote: post #35
steanne wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

that won't expand the pool as much as you think. it widens it on the education variable, but narrowers it to men who aren't threatened by women who are more educated (and possibly higher-paid) than they are.

>men who aren't threatened by women who are more educated (and possibly higher-paid) than they are Do these people actually exist anymore? What kind of man is really going to pass on an otherwise suitable partner just because she's more educated and makes more money than him? I can't imagine a single person I know thinking something along the lines of "yeah, she's great, but she makes more money than me, it won't wor…

My wife has at times earned more than me but that's never felt threatening. After all, I benefit from her increased income. In fact I would love it if she'd earn enough for me to be a stay home dad without us needing to cut expenses too much.

Re: The Mating Crisis Among Educated Women

#66

Post by Eric_WVGG »

Oxitendwe wrote: post #41
xor1 wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No one is entitled to being in a relationship. No one is entitled to having a partner.

Having a lot of single childless people is not good for society.

I was wondering why this comment was downvoted, and realized that it’s probably because of the “childless” bit, which is a pretty conservative attitude.

But there is an important point here. People who are in a healthy family and have dependents don’t do things like suicide bomb or go on mass shootings. Those are the acts of desperate, miserable men.

I’m not advocating nuclear families, but when I hear about the insane gender disparity in places like China, I worry.

Re: The Mating Crisis Among Educated Women

#67

Post by xor1 »

xedrac wrote: post #58
xor1 wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>men who aren't threatened by women who are more educated (and possibly higher-paid) than they are Do these people actually exist anymore? What kind of man is really going to pass on an otherwise suitable partner just because she's more educated and makes more money than him? I can't imagine a single person I know thinking something along the lines of "yeah, she's great, but she makes more money than me, it won't wor…

If I'm being honest, this would bother me at some level. Certainly not enough to pass up the opportunity, but somehow I would feel less of a man. I'm sure I would get over it quickly enough, or maybe use it as motivation to become equally educated. I do think it's great that there are so many highly educated women.

I have only dated women smarter/richer than me so far, and yes, it is very motivating.

Re: The Mating Crisis Among Educated Women

#68

Post by [deleted] »

xor1 wrote: post #59
whatshisface wrote: post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's only a matter of time before we can pay CBT psychotherapists to give us good senses of humor and easy-to-be-around personalities. We're fast converging on a future where IQ and inherited wealth will be the only two fundamental positive qualities.

>We're fast converging on a future where IQ and inherited wealth will be the only two fundamental positive qualities. Genome editing might take care of IQ.

[deleted]

Re: The Mating Crisis Among Educated Women

#69

Post by nserrino »

xor1 wrote: post #43
nserrino wrote: post #32

I've noticed the preferences among my male and female friends diverging over time. In college, everyone seemed to want the same thing -- a partner that was both successful and attractive. But now as we make it to our late twenties, I noticed that they "settle" differently. My female friends increasingly prefer an older guy with a great career and my male friends a younger woman who is less accomplished than they were…

>I have definitely noticed the happiest people I know, in terms of romance, found their life partner in college. Definitely. I am almost 30, and I started dating extremely late (26). I'm happy with who I'm with right now, but I envy people who met their significant others in their teens or early 20s. They were able to grow together throughout early adulthood. I had to go through it all alone. I will do everything pos…

The other commenter referenced growing apart as a risk, and there were definitely "growing pains" for me and my partner. But ultimately I agree with you that it is really valuable to grow through early adulthood with someone if you find the right person. Glad you found someone to grow with now though!

Re: The Mating Crisis Among Educated Women

#70

Post by megaman22 »

xor1 wrote: post #26
alva wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If men can increase their pool size, why not women? Women can, it is just they don't want to due to what the majority express as desirable characteristics. It is a sad state of affairs that make both men and women worse off. I know several women in their mid-thirties who adamantly refuse to consider long term partnership with perceived low status males (along lines of status, power, wealth and education). The main…

>Finding an "equal" man in your mid-thirties as a women is very hard. Finding an "equal" woman in your mid-thirties as a man who doesn't want to date down in terms of education, status, wealth, or mental health is just as difficult.

Or finding one who isn't traumatized too badly by past relationships.
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