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What I Learned from a Stroke at 26: Make Time to Untangle

nytimes.com

61–70 of 104 posts

Re: What I Learned from a Stroke at 26: Make Time to Untangle

#61

Humans don't last long at a 100% duty cycle. Anyone with half a brain knows that. Congratulations on being able to leverage your foolishness to drive traffic to your blog.

>Humans don't last long at a 100% duty cycle. I dont disagree, but do you have a source on that?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kar%C5%8Dshi

Re: What I Learned from a Stroke at 26: Make Time to Untangle

#62
post #27
post #26

"Being so young, I had not even considered that having a stroke was a possibility. But I have since learned that they are on the rise among younger people." Uh oh. Does anybody keep stats for YC companies?

A stroke related to overwork may be eligible for workmens' compensation.[1] Call a lawyer. Lots of lawyers take such cases on contingency; the victim doesn't pay anything unless they win. [1] http://www.rehmlaw.com/Workers-Compensation/Workers-Compensa...

Works on contingency? No, money down!

Re: What I Learned from a Stroke at 26: Make Time to Untangle

#63
It's sad that the author effectively blames himself for overworking and the resulting stroke. It might be the more socially-acceptable explanation, but there is more to it than that. He wouldn't be clocking 70 hours a week and bearing "self-imposed tortures", while ignoring the symptoms of exhaustion, unless his peers and the wider society rewarded it, as part of a self-destructive feedback loop. And we are all complicit in it, since we keep praising people who successfully "hustled ... up the chain of command", "managed to survive layoffs", and are now "leading development and marketing for a team" after only a few months. Overworking is nothing to celebrate and it shouldn't be a role model for anyone. We shouldn't reward this behavior when we encounter it.

Re: What I Learned from a Stroke at 26: Make Time to Untangle

#65
post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For me it was the opposite. The whole time I was overworking I was aware and wishing I wasn't and very much imagining myself doing other things. Now I'm aware and wishing I was back to normal and working. I spent about 4 years working flat out. If I was awake I was working, trying to keep the income coming after the recession hit. Then something snapped. The now ex-wife had to unwind the things I was part way through…

You do procrastinate. What is happening is that you basically forced yourself to work when you did not want to for so long, your emotional system learned that work is pain, basically. Think of this like a Paulov conditioning a dog to have an electric shock every time he lights a bulb. At the end the dog avoids the lightbulb at all cost, even when not lighted. Forcing yourself to do something painful trained your brai…

this comment is just beautiful

Re: What I Learned from a Stroke at 26: Make Time to Untangle

#66
post #24
post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> On the symptoms side of things though, I now have to go to the doctor. Again. Reading about the buzzing in the right eye and the tingling was terrifying because I've been feeling something similar for the past few months. So onto my 4th brain scan in the past few years... Sigh. Hypochondria is a bitch. I really hope you find a way to handle this that doesn't involve very expensive reassurance from doctors. I experi…

The trick is to accept that we're animals, and that meta-cognition is only a part of the game we're playing. We have to figure out ways to deal with the less expressive and more primitive parts of ourselves that don't respond as well to that "internal voice". Sometimes you just have to count primes and take deep breaths, even if it feels silly.

I try to remind myself of that whenever I am anxious. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. Meditation has also had some positive effect, as has CBT.

But man does it feel weird that my brain is aware of its own misbehavior and yet can't master it.

Re: What I Learned from a Stroke at 26: Make Time to Untangle

#67

I spent several years in my mid-twenties working like the author, pretty much non-stop. At the lowest point, I fell into a weird sleep pattern: I'd crash as soon as I got home around 6:00 in the evening, then wake up around midnight and be back at work by 1:00 am. It took an old friend's suicide to jolt me out of it. I saw a lot of my old buddies at the funeral and started reestablishing those friendships. We played…

For me it was the opposite. The whole time I was overworking I was aware and wishing I wasn't and very much imagining myself doing other things. Now I'm aware and wishing I was back to normal and working. I spent about 4 years working flat out. If I was awake I was working, trying to keep the income coming after the recession hit. Then something snapped. The now ex-wife had to unwind the things I was part way through…

Good luck, and I hope you resolve things as best they can be resolved.

This certainly sounds like depression. Some people respond well to cognitive behavioural therapy, some people really don't, and other therapies are worth exploring. It can be a long slog, and it can get worse before it gets better. I hope you can seek help, and I hope you can stick with until something works.

If you and your doctor decide that anti-depressants are worth trying, be sure to do a formal review with your doc after 6 weeks. Antidepressants are not meant for long-term use, and alone they won't fix things for you, but they may help you find something that works for you. On that note...

I'd highly recommend exercise. It's a hackneyed recommendation, but who cares. It's also been criticised for lack of significant long-term effects. But that's missing the point. Sometimes you need a healthy short-term fix, and hopefully with enough of them you can boot-strap your way to a longer-term solution. Go running, cycling, swimming, play soccer, take up boxercise, lift heavy weights, whatever works for you. Get up and out, preferably outdoors, preferably with social interaction, definitely getting sweaty and panting heavily. If you can hire a personal trainer, that might help, since you pay them to make sure you Do Not Quit. If you can join a class, even better.

Sounds simplistic, and it is. There's no way anything I can say here could encapsulate the issues you're dealing with, and there are no panaceas. This is a complex problem, no doubt about that. I hope you can find a way out of it.

Good luck!

Re: What I Learned from a Stroke at 26: Make Time to Untangle

#68

What the? "When I was discharged from the hospital late the next day, the cabdriver asked me, “Where do I take you?” I couldn’t remember the name of my street. I handed him the discharge paperwork with my address on it, arrived home and slept for a long while." How does someone who just had a stroke get discharged from hospital the next day, to a taxi?

I found this line particularly shocking.

When my mum suffered a stroke, she was hospitalised for 7 months and had a team of occupational/speech/physiotherapists around here helping her recover as much as possible (which wasn't much, to be fair).

But socialised medicine is evil, and the NHS death panels could've taken her.

Re: What I Learned from a Stroke at 26: Make Time to Untangle

#69
post #55

Humans don't last long at a 100% duty cycle. Anyone with half a brain knows that. Congratulations on being able to leverage your foolishness to drive traffic to your blog.

Kind of shocking lack of empathy in that last sentence. Don't get me wrong, I hate the "you shouldn't say anything offensive" brigade, but equally, no reason to be so caustic. Overwork is a big part of tech culture sadly, posts like these are helpful, even if they are only reminders of things we already know.

"I would easily clock 70 hours of work a week — more if we were on a deadline. I was often the first in the office and the last to leave." - quoted from article.

This doesn't sound healthy to me. I wonder if anyone can really argue with that. That's 10 hours per day at least! Adding 8 hours of sleep, only gives him 6 hours to do EVERYTHING else in his life. That's friends, family, leisure, excersise, but also groceries, commuting, cooking, cleaning, walking his dog.

It might be a big part of tech culture, but just because a lot of people do it, doesn't mean this guy should. I would hestitate to call this guy stupid, but let's call it naive then.

Re: What I Learned from a Stroke at 26: Make Time to Untangle

#70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I teach high school. I love working with the kids, but then I look at my 50hrs+/wk (yes, really) and can't help but feel like pushing into business for the pay bump - or find a desk job for the same take home and have my evenings/weekends to myself. Always greener pastures elsewhere...

Well, you get 4 months off during the year (Christmas break + summer). Any other business jobs, you only get 1 month off at most.

Breaks aren't quite as rich as that (nor are they free from work obligations) - but the point stands and is certainly part of the calculation.
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