61–70 of 116 posts
what is the beef with patio11 ? He has given my good comments on my posts over the years. That is how HN is designed.
Obviously I don't have any details about this interaction (and he's declined to share), but I'm not especially persuaded by the dark allusions here.
> Men and women need to learn to interact at work I disagree, there is something called respect and politeness, if you need to learn it at work ,then your parents did a bad job raising you. Calling a woman "a milf" is inappropriate, period. I'm black, if a colleague called me "n__gger", would he need training so he can learn to interact at work with black people ? that's not serious. If the male employee was just a b…
Is calling a black person "nigger" really equivalent to calling a woman "milf"? Somehow I think that analogy just confuses the issue.
> Over the weekend... He asked to take the conversation off Slack (moved to Whatsapp) and asked if they could hang out (she said, "sure as friends in work context"), referred to her as a milf (ugh...), and asked if he could tell her a secret (she refused)[0]
In the context of the original post, I believe this is one of those cases. To tie this into the analogy to which you're responding, if one of my employees asked another to move off work-chat so he/she could assail him/her and was acting genuinely sleazy, I'd pack up the offending employee's desk, lock down accounts and access on Sunday night, and make sure I was there first on Monday to escort him/her out of the building.
The language that my team uses would make a drunk sailor blush, but I think this is a pretty clear case of justified firing. It's damn hard to hire a great team and nothing will destroy it faster than interpersonal issues.
I had read the original post and the comment you are referring to, but I did not post in the original thread. While I think you do have very valid points and definitely some words to consider. When I got to this line I paused. "Men and women need to learn to interact at work." While I think it is very true the question I asked myself is, should my company be the training ground for people to learn to get along ? The…
> Side note - I don't like the term terrorist being used so lightly. Yet oddly, you're happy to use 'nuke them', and don't mention a problem with 'final solution' used in the exact same context as 'terrorist' was...
I think (hope) it's being used in that playful way.
Please, keep your personal conflicts out of HN.
People don't write their blog posts exclusively for HN. Just because someone other than the original author posted an item to HN does not mean the original author should be held to account for some perceived slight to this site.
Whether her blog post is exclusively for HN or not, her post is definitely for/about HN.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Nothing in her profile text allows you to make the inference that her grudge is based on jealousy of his karma and popularity. Even if you think that's likely, it's a pretty lousy thing to post publicly.
He's got a lot of karma (#2 according to her blog post). She makes a big deal of the date when she reached 10k. I think it's a safe assumption that's an important metric to her.
It's fine that you think "that's probably it". Posting that as if you knew it for sure is unjustified and rude.
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It seems to be a personal conflict constrained to HN itself though. Very meta.
Well yes, but personal attacks are especially discouraged here on HN, and this blog post reads just like that.
She had to leave HN for 18 months because she couldn't even form a civil response to any comment by patio11.
This post really has no place linked on HN - it skirts the letter rules of the site by being an offsite link but violates them in spirit.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
He's got a lot of karma (#2 according to her blog post). She makes a big deal of the date when she reached 10k. I think it's a safe assumption that's an important metric to her.
No doubt; it still doesn't follow that she holds a grudge based on it. Lots of people have plenty of karma; patio11 isn't even the #1 on HN. It's fine that you think "that's probably it". Posting that as if you knew it for sure is unjustified and rude.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
He's got a lot of karma (#2 according to her blog post). She makes a big deal of the date when she reached 10k. I think it's a safe assumption that's an important metric to her.
No doubt; it still doesn't follow that she holds a grudge based on it. Lots of people have plenty of karma; patio11 isn't even the #1 on HN. It's fine that you think "that's probably it". Posting that as if you knew it for sure is unjustified and rude.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
"Sure, if a man makes 2 offers for a "drinks after work?" and the woman refuses" Turn that around ... if the woman is making the offer and the man refuses, he's likely to still feel flattered but the woman is likely to get the signal and move on. But ... many men are absolutely clueless and will never get that signal. On the other hand, if the man asks every day but goes no further, is that really sexual harassment o…
> if the woman is making the offer and the man refuses, he's likely to still feel flattered but the woman is likely to get the signal and move on. I've had the opposite experience. I didn't feel flattered and she didn't get the hint. >But ... many men are absolutely clueless and will never get that signal. Weasel words. We're in Anecdote City right now. >So I think part of this discussion needs to acknowledge that yo…
"Broad generalizations"? - Certainly. I'm not surprised at all that you've experienced exactly the opposite interaction (and I've seen extreme cases of that twice). But I also worded my post carefully to convey really loose values - "the woman is likely" and "many men are".
I haven't collected statistics, my experience is that men are more attuned to what's appropriate than "in my distant path" and that women are less tolerant of it (both good things IMHO). So you can disregard my opinions, but if we're going to require double-blind studies to post in HN comments, this place is going to get very quiet.
I do agree with your paragraph about HR policies and lawsuits. Isn't it nice on those occasions when HR is better than that?