Can you fundraise in Silicon Valley while pregnant? • Hacker News Board

Re: Can you fundraise in Silicon Valley while pregnant?

#61

Post by grahamburger » Fri, Mar 25, 2016, 6:12 PM UTC

wolfgke wrote: post #4

Can you fundraise if you openly say that you have a time-intensive hobby that you will under no circumstances give up for working on your company? Thanks to modern contraceptive methods getting pregnant is a choice. The same as doing a time-intense hobby. If you would not finance someone who openly says that he/she will not give up his/her time-intense hobby for the company, isn't this the same as not financing peopl…

Or say you are planning to finish grad school while also seeking funding / starting a startup. Sure you could hide that from the VCs, but if you didn't hide it (well enough) could you blame them for going cold based on your plans? Is it realistic to try to do both at the same time?

Re: Can you fundraise in Silicon Valley while pregnant?

#62

Post by ksenzee » Fri, Mar 25, 2016, 6:14 PM UTC

x0x0 wrote: post #49

CalRobert wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A man can conceal the fact of his expecting a child soon. A woman, usually, is unable to do so. Both will be affected by the child, but the investor may be more likely to favour the man, which is unfair.

Bluntly, I assume a woman will be far more involved in childcare than a man. This is backed up by the fact that it's often true, and is a reasonable prior. A male ceo -- and I've worked for several of these -- can / often does have a housewife, and is able to dump virtually all childcare off onto her. Crucially including getting up all night to breastfeed. Women often don't have that and/or don't want that. Not to me…

> Bluntly, I assume a woman will be far more involved in childcare than a man.

That's a fair assumption across an entire population, but I doubt it applies very well to the population of women looking for funding. They're going to be a lot more likely than the average woman to prioritize business over childcare, and a lot more likely to have a stay-at-home spouse.

Re: Can you fundraise in Silicon Valley while pregnant?

#63

Post by ksenzee » Fri, Mar 25, 2016, 6:14 PM UTC

rsmsky1 wrote: post #53

ksenzee wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It depends on the pregnancy and on the birth. Some women jump right up and get back into the swing of things. Most of us need recovery time. There is no safe assumption. Speaking of assumptions, there is no reason to assume a CEO mother would have a nursery at work. She might well have a stay-at-home spouse (I do) or a parent or nanny or any number of things.

How long is the recovery time usually, I mean typically for the average woman? Also, I mentioned the nursery because in the post it said she would have a nursery at work.

And sorry, I missed the reference to the nursery in the post.

Re: Can you fundraise in Silicon Valley while pregnant?

#64

Post by chiph » Fri, Mar 25, 2016, 6:18 PM UTC

rsmsky1 wrote: post #52

chiph wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you need to talk to your mom about a lot of this. ;) "Incapacitated" is the wrong word. "Sleep deprived" because junior demands he be fed a couple of times during the night is more accurate. Having an infant at the office would be very disruptive. Their cries are designed by Nature to be annoying to adults so that they get the attention they need.

I mean after giving birth isn't there a certain amount of time where one can't do much? One doesn't just give birth and hop right back up. For instance in my pilates class a woman who wasn't even visibly pregnant said she had to be careful because previously she had a miscarriage after doing pilates. So if even light exercising such as pilates, I can't imagine what more intense effort such as the stress of running a…

My mom was on a bowling team while carrying me. Unfortunately, none of that experience transferred across the womb, and I'm still mediocre at it. Having a c-section was common back then (I was born via one), so there is a recovery time with that, as the muscles knit back together.

Every woman is different. I have known women who have gotten right back into their exercise routine, and others who have taken a fair amount of time before becoming active again. Do what you're comfortable with, and talk to your doctor/mid-wife if you have questions.

Re: Can you fundraise in Silicon Valley while pregnant?

#65

Post by cheald » Fri, Mar 25, 2016, 6:20 PM UTC

rsmsky1 wrote: post #52

chiph wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you need to talk to your mom about a lot of this. ;) "Incapacitated" is the wrong word. "Sleep deprived" because junior demands he be fed a couple of times during the night is more accurate. Having an infant at the office would be very disruptive. Their cries are designed by Nature to be annoying to adults so that they get the attention they need.

I mean after giving birth isn't there a certain amount of time where one can't do much? One doesn't just give birth and hop right back up. For instance in my pilates class a woman who wasn't even visibly pregnant said she had to be careful because previously she had a miscarriage after doing pilates. So if even light exercising such as pilates, I can't imagine what more intense effort such as the stress of running a…

It depends on the woman and the pregnancy. Some women do bounce back right after childbirth, but my guess is that's the exception rather than the norm. The combination of healing from childbirth (which can be minimal to significant for vaginal deliveries, and is uncompromisingly significant for C-sections), the hormonal whiplash, the sleep deprivation, and the demands a newborn places on your time will almost certainly make it exceptionally difficult - though certainly not impossible - to be productive at much of anything.

Regarding stress and exercise during gestation, there's a lot of research that shows that high stress levels during pregnancy should be avoided, and high-impact exercise is generally out. Low-impact exercise is generally fine, though your doctor will tell you to avoid it if you have a high-risk pregnancy.

Re: Can you fundraise in Silicon Valley while pregnant?

#66

Post by eob » Fri, Mar 25, 2016, 6:21 PM UTC

I asked this question of the Boston VC community as a soon-to-be father, and the resounding advice was: "wait until the baby is at least a few months old"

There are a lot of logical reasons for this that you already know, so I'll just vouch for the emotional one, which is a style of thinking that's going to become more prominent in you as soon as you hold your child. I'm really glad I waited. Unless fundraising now is life-or-death for your company, I think you'll both be really glad if you wait, too.

Re: Can you fundraise in Silicon Valley while pregnant?

#67

Post by jkyle » Fri, Mar 25, 2016, 6:21 PM UTC

ksenzee wrote: post #33

rsmsky1 wrote: post #28

This is a serious question as a woman who has never been pregnant and perhaps not that knowledgable about pregnancies. Doesn't giving birth render you incapacitated for a certain period of time even if everything goes well and there's no guarantee after giving birth things will return to normal. Even in cases where one's life isn't at risk, there's a high risk of postpartum depression, etc. It seems very unfair to me…

It depends on the pregnancy and on the birth. Some women jump right up and get back into the swing of things. Most of us need recovery time. There is no safe assumption. Speaking of assumptions, there is no reason to assume a CEO mother would have a nursery at work. She might well have a stay-at-home spouse (I do) or a parent or nanny or any number of things.

> Some women jump right up and get back into the swing of things.

Even 25 year olds in the shape of olympic champions take a week or so to be back in the full swing of things. The first few days are limited movement. A couple of weeks is more reasonable, particularly since two weeks of bonding is highly recommended (for both mother and father). Skin to skin! :)

I'm not saying there isn't a woman out there, somewhere, who had a kid at noon and was ready for work the next morning. But that's incredibly rare, certainly not anything to expect or plan for.

That being said, if a founder missing a few adequately planned for weeks of full time work kills a company it probably wasn't going anywhere anyway. Not that the investors would see it that way.

Re: Can you fundraise in Silicon Valley while pregnant?

#68

Post by rayiner » Fri, Mar 25, 2016, 6:32 PM UTC

RyanZAG wrote: post #43

CalRobert wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A man can conceal the fact of his expecting a child soon. A woman, usually, is unable to do so. Both will be affected by the child, but the investor may be more likely to favour the man, which is unfair.

Would I invest in a startup with the founder about to have a baby? No. Either they will be dedicating a big part of their life in the near future to raising that baby correctly, or they will be ignoring that baby and leaving someone else to raise it. I find the second outcome even worse than the first, but I'm not going to invest in either. Now a man might be able to deceive me by simply not disclosing this while a w…

How much time does it take to "raise a baby correctly?" Parenting is heavily driven by cargo culting, old wives' tales, and conventional wisdom; but very little by actual data.

Re: Can you fundraise in Silicon Valley while pregnant?

#69

Post by st3v3r » Fri, Mar 25, 2016, 6:34 PM UTC

akud wrote: post #30

In my experience, people tend to seriously underestimate the amount of work a baby takes, and the strain it adds to relationships, work life, and emotional health. I certainly did. I think it's reasonable for investors to wonder if a person's commitment won't change when they have a baby. I would advise the authors that they really can't forsee what their priorities will be like when the baby comes. It sounds trite,…

Given a lot of the stupid stuff investors have backed, with lots of money, I can't really take their arguments seriously.

Re: Can you fundraise in Silicon Valley while pregnant?

#70

Post by st3v3r » Fri, Mar 25, 2016, 6:35 PM UTC

facepalm wrote: post #56

ergothus wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Purely for the purposes of clarity: Is that you'd hold any founder expecting a baby to the same standard, male or female? (though it is normally easier to recognize a pregnant woman than someone with a pregnant partner) Or do you see the load you describe falling primarily upon women?

Would you say it is unnatural to assume that a mother is more likely to be preoccupied with her baby than the father? If the plan is for the father to take over, why not mention it while fundraising? Even so, there is physical strain that is likely to take a toll on the mother, which might cost a few productive months. Breastfeeding might also be an issue, waking the mother several times per night.

Because it's nobody's business what the home life plans are.