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How bad are things?

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Re: How bad are things?

#61

Post by aws_ls »

p4wnc6 wrote: post #20
onetwotree wrote: post #6

I'm an addict in long term recovery, and I hang out with lots of addicts trying to get or stay clean. Obviously this crowd has problems! But what's interesting is that as I've been making friends who aren't addicts, they have problems that are every bit as messed up as the recovery crowd. There are two main differences, though: "normal" people are much more committed to hiding their problems (I feel as though I only…

I don't mean any offense when I say this, but I kind of resent this type of perspective. I can't say for sure but I suspect if we knew each other, I would fall into the "non-addict friend with problems" type category. You do correctly point out that a lot of people worry whether they will be judged for revealing a problem. This has happened to me and my family quite severely. Long-term, deeply close friends have aban…

> Like most things, the answer is somewhere in the middle, and it's exceedingly hard to get it right, and it's different for every person

Bingo. Balance is the keyword.

Nice response overall to parent comment. But I felt, they also had a valid perspective. How many people you meet, who would analyze it in as much detail like yourself?

It is true that often peoples' problems can be lessened, if not fixed, by making some corrections. I agree with you in that, its foolish/naive to be very open about our problems to everybody. But, I thought, the parent was implying a pretence of "normal". In several situations a good and trusted friend may be able to advise and can be as helpful as a shrink.

I somewhat agree with your thoughts on money and other things like intelligence, beauty, health etc. If we try to think from a perspective of someone who does not have and never going to have one or more of these positives. In such scenarios when they hear, it doesn't matter. It makes them not lose too much of heart. It gives them a new paradigm to work with, one in which they are never going to have certain things.

A disabled person has to transcend their disability, at some level. So calling it all a lie is shallow/surface thinking, when some lies might help us achieve some larger truth.

edit: typo

Re: How bad are things?

#62

Post by [deleted] »

reitanqild wrote: post #53
onetwotree wrote: post #6

I'm an addict in long term recovery, and I hang out with lots of addicts trying to get or stay clean. Obviously this crowd has problems! But what's interesting is that as I've been making friends who aren't addicts, they have problems that are every bit as messed up as the recovery crowd. There are two main differences, though: "normal" people are much more committed to hiding their problems (I feel as though I only…

> It's kind of sad, but I have no idea how to convince normal people that they can be happier by changing themselves instead of acquiring things or relationships or any other external thing they think will finally make them happy. Welcome to the club :-) I'm happy, with a few exceptions, since the late 90ies. Don't know what to do since talking about what sorted it for me seem to scare off people.

[deleted]

Re: How bad are things?

#63

Post by reitanqild »

simonswords82 wrote: post #56
reitanqild wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It's kind of sad, but I have no idea how to convince normal people that they can be happier by changing themselves instead of acquiring things or relationships or any other external thing they think will finally make them happy. Welcome to the club :-) I'm happy, with a few exceptions, since the late 90ies. Don't know what to do since talking about what sorted it for me seem to scare off people.

Go on I'll bite :) What sorted it for you?

Christianity. It got me a head start[0] and I think I was lucky to start with friends who explained that forgiveness is just the start and that I was supposed to be living a new life.

That said, like other believers here I don't usually mention it as it can effectively derail discussions.

[0] I'd tried for a 2/3 years before admitting I couldn't do this on my own, -I was so impulsive I didn't recognize I was doing something stupid until I had done it.

Re: How bad are things?

#64

Post by reinhardt »

simonswords82 wrote: post #56
reitanqild wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It's kind of sad, but I have no idea how to convince normal people that they can be happier by changing themselves instead of acquiring things or relationships or any other external thing they think will finally make them happy. Welcome to the club :-) I'm happy, with a few exceptions, since the late 90ies. Don't know what to do since talking about what sorted it for me seem to scare off people.

Go on I'll bite :) What sorted it for you?

Not the OP but my guess: religion

Re: How bad are things?

#65

Post by lucio »

joesmo wrote: post #43
isolate wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, but I probably misread yours if you didn't understand my question. I thought you said different kinds of suffering are incomparable, and so I asked about not being able to compare two specific kinds of suffering, murder and insults. (Or rather, acts that can induce suffering and the suffering that results.)

No, I said you can't compare people's suffering because you can't measure it, regardless of what's causing that suffering.

yes you can, a beaten wife is suffering more than a person who gets insulted. Both are suffering, but the wife is in the worst situation.

Re: How bad are things?

#66

Post by golergka »

erikpukinskis wrote: post #5

I think this is a fundamental property of capitalism. People who are happy and taken care of don't need to spend money and are terrible for the economy. If you can create problems for someone, you can market solutions to them. Some of the best selling products in the world, like Coca-Cola, are themselves creating the the problem they purport to solve. For a century, companies have been pushing cultural changes that m…

> I think this is a fundamental property of capitalism. > Second most-upvoted comment

OK, I think I'm done reading HN comments on political and social issues. The amount of delusion and ignorance is just unbearable.

Re: How bad are things?

#67

Post by reitanqild »

reinhardt wrote: post #64
simonswords82 wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Go on I'll bite :) What sorted it for you?

Not the OP but my guess: religion

Correct. More specifically Christianity. I admit that whatever it is is likely greater than what I can understand but it is the best I have found. So far (>10 years and counting) it has served me well.

Re: How bad are things?

#68

Post by markmcdonald »

lkrubner wrote: post #2

This is a great excerpt: -------------------------- This is part of why I get enraged whenever somebody on Tumblr says “People in Group X need to realize they have it really good”, or “You’re a Group X member, so stop pretending like you have real problems.” The town where I practice psychiatry is mostly white and mostly wealthy. That doesn’t save it. And whenever some online thinkpiece writer laughs about how good p…

I want to defend the "thinkpiece writers" a little bit.

I agree that you can't judge someone because they're part of Group X. Its impossible to know what struggles a person goes through. But, at least a few of the thinkpiece writers I've seen are commenting on how Group X uses their privilege to discredit the struggles Group Y or Z has experienced because of Group X.

Laughing "about how good people in Group X have it and how hilarious it is that they sometimes complain about their lives" is taking it too far, but I've seen something very similar to the above excerpt used to discredit the very real, systemic struggle of minorities. That makes me cringe. I'm in favor of being empathic to everyone's humanity and not discrediting anyone's struggle.

Re: How bad are things?

#69

Post by littletimmy »

reitanqild wrote: post #63
simonswords82 wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Go on I'll bite :) What sorted it for you?

Christianity. It got me a head start[0] and I think I was lucky to start with friends who explained that forgiveness is just the start and that I was supposed to be living a new life. That said, like other believers here I don't usually mention it as it can effectively derail discussions. [0] I'd tried for a 2/3 years before admitting I couldn't do this on my own, -I was so impulsive I didn't recognize I was doing so…

Is it easy to go back to believing once you not are non-religious? I've only seen it going one way, and I find it really hard to go back to religion even if I want to (because of the whole "it's irrational" aspect, sincerely no offense meant). How did you do it?

Re: How bad are things?

#70

Post by littletimmy »

FussyZeus wrote: post #41
erikpukinskis wrote: post #5

I think this is a fundamental property of capitalism. People who are happy and taken care of don't need to spend money and are terrible for the economy. If you can create problems for someone, you can market solutions to them. Some of the best selling products in the world, like Coca-Cola, are themselves creating the the problem they purport to solve. For a century, companies have been pushing cultural changes that m…

I used to be a hardcore capitalist and would've launched into a rant at this kind of a post. I do disagree in a minor way though: I think Capitalism is fine and dandy, I think we've just gotten entirely too good at the emotional manipulative style of marketing products. Awhile back I started reading a lot about what goes into the creation of a mainstream big brand product and it's fucking horrifying. Food for example…

How is unprocessed food engineered to make you want more? You mean if I buy chicken from a local grocer, it's corrupted?
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