How to talk to anyone and why you should • Hacker News Board

Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should

#581

Post by GrzegorzWidla » Sat, Mar 07, 2026, 11:16 AM UTC

jcattle wrote: post #298

TurdF3rguson wrote: post #205

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Let's hear the joke.

All of these have to be told light-hearted, as observational "jokes". Not like you are actually annoyed. You're just making light of a situation. "I guess the bus is just never on time here, huh" (Stuck in line at the grocers) "Friday evening rush-hour" Same kind of thing with whatever you are observing, at the Doctor, in the gym, waiting for the light to turn, etc, etc. It's all shit jokes if you can even call them…

While I agree with everything, I personally try to make my one liners positive instead of negative. On average it just opens an opportunity for a nicer conversation than another whine about politics, weather or public transit.

Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should

#582

Post by komali2 » Mon, Mar 09, 2026, 1:47 AM UTC

exhaze wrote: post #415

SequoiaHope wrote: post #11

After a bad breakup in 2015, I followed some advice from the socialskills subreddit to “talk to everyone” so that you get better at talking to women you might want to date. The advice was not to only talk to attractive people but everyone. The old man reading a Russian newspaper, the kid on bike doing tricks, people in the elevator. I do that now and it brings me a lot of joy. Recently while leaving a botanical garde…

> I highly recommend talking to strangers! People are lovely. Go out and try it. I’ve been here since 2009 and this is one of the loveliest comments I’ve read. At face value, it may seem ‘duh!’.. but there’s a distinct aesthetic to it that resonated with me. Perhaps the best analogy I can think of is Asimov’s philosophy about writing. ‘I want the reader to forget they are reading as if my thoughts are being transmitt…

Regarding Japan, and especially Tokyo though, chats with strangers seems nightmarishly difficult (assuming in Japanese). Maybe with tourists in English, but locals?

The exception would be at a bar or similar but outside of that... Yeesh I get terrified even considering it.

Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should

#583

Post by etbebl » Tue, Mar 10, 2026, 3:04 AM UTC

mhurron wrote: post #452

etbebl wrote: post #187

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The example in the article is a waiting room. Or you could be waiting to catch the subway, or in line at the grocery store. In those situations how is somebody trying to talk to you preventing you from completing your task? Otherwise you're probably just scrolling your phone; sometimes I fill these gaps with things like podcasts, but even then it's not like what I'm doing is urgent.

I am wherever for a reason, and that reason is not to be social. I am thinking about what I am doing next, what I need to bring up in whatever thing I'm waiting for, or quite frankly any number of things. You are interrupting me. You'd probably get it if we changed things up and instead of standing in line, we said you were staring out the window while sitting at your desk. You're clearly doing nothing right and talk…

I mean yeah I kind of get it, sometimes, it depends what mood I'm in. Sometimes I try to resist this feeling though, because I think being connected with people around me is nice and there are general benefits to being in a friendly community. (If I hated where I lived, or was very busy all the time, I probably wouldn't give it a second thought.)

Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should

#584

Post by awesomeMilou » Mon, Mar 16, 2026, 3:32 AM UTC

closewith wrote: post #490

awesomeMilou wrote: post #412

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No verbal comment, be it a comment or an actual insult or otherwise, justifies violence and crossing the body threshold. In what world do you live?

In the real world, many comments can and will provoke violence. In many cases, it's justifiable. > In what world do you live? In what bubble do you live? Go out into the world and behave like the GP. Your apparent mental model of society will collapse quickly.

I just want to reply, a few days after the fact: What you describe would be illegal in my country. Save for me insulting your basic human dignity, i.e. if I were to call you subhuman or something like that (which I'm not, this is an example), what you're describing would be assault and you'd be arrested.