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Why aren't smart people happier?

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Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#571

Post by Rayhem »

rhubarbtree wrote: post #248
kderbyma wrote: post #231

It’s because everyone else is dumber than them…. So they constantly see avoidable mistakes and misunderstandings that could have been avoided…. Yet they cannot make the other people understand….because they think differently about it, and the people who don’t have that intelligence will not necessarily even be able to reorient their brains for the new information to be absorbed correctly. I constantly get demoralized…

I recently encountered someone who spoke like this and I researched what might be the issue. I came across narcissism. The idea that you’re smarter than everyone else. Comes from a grandiose sense of self importance. But the truth is most people are smarter than you in some ways and less smart in others, but you’re unable to see it because you’re in this black and white mode where preserving your ego relies on you be…

> I came across narcissism. The idea that you’re smarter than everyone else. Comes from a grandiose sense of self importance.

This may be the colloquial description of how narcissism manifests, but it isn't even close to (and possibly completely opposite) clinical narcissism. The grandiosity isn't so much a belief as it is a "false self" put on to garner caretaking from others. It's not "I got all the toys as a kid, so I deserve more stuff!" but a failure to individuate from caregivers. "Mom (as a tool, not a wholly independent person) came when I cried as a kid, so I need you to lavish attention on me and make me feel better now as an adult. I can't see myself without external input; I only see myself as a reflection through you."

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#572

Post by wat10000 »

rhubarbtree wrote: post #248
kderbyma wrote: post #231

It’s because everyone else is dumber than them…. So they constantly see avoidable mistakes and misunderstandings that could have been avoided…. Yet they cannot make the other people understand….because they think differently about it, and the people who don’t have that intelligence will not necessarily even be able to reorient their brains for the new information to be absorbed correctly. I constantly get demoralized…

I recently encountered someone who spoke like this and I researched what might be the issue. I came across narcissism. The idea that you’re smarter than everyone else. Comes from a grandiose sense of self importance. But the truth is most people are smarter than you in some ways and less smart in others, but you’re unable to see it because you’re in this black and white mode where preserving your ego relies on you be…

I don't think a bunch of physicists is the best example if you're trying to make the point that most people are smart but just in different ways. Physics requires and attracts intelligence, of course a bunch of physicists were smarter than you in some ways.

Try it with, say, a parole officer's case list, a group of high school dropouts, or people who have not touched a book in the past ten years. You'll certainly find things they know that you don't, but that's mostly going to be a matter of experience, not them being smarter in that area. No doubt the average petty thief knows more about shoplifting than I do, but I'm pretty sure I could learn quickly and become a much better shoplifter than them if I put my mind to it. And those groups will certainly contain some really smart people who just happen to have ended up in those groups, but that's going to be a small number of them.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#573

Post by d-lisp »

kderbyma wrote: post #231

It’s because everyone else is dumber than them…. So they constantly see avoidable mistakes and misunderstandings that could have been avoided…. Yet they cannot make the other people understand….because they think differently about it, and the people who don’t have that intelligence will not necessarily even be able to reorient their brains for the new information to be absorbed correctly. I constantly get demoralized…

I do know for sure that I am able to share my intelligence with anyone. Moreover I do enjoy it. I cannot conceive a lot of things more pleasant than making people smart. And to me that should be your responsibility to do so, as a gifted person.

You should cease to complain about other people being dumb, and just work on being understandable by anyone. That's a very complex job, as it may lead to what I'd call "extravagant analysis" (i.e. unfolding abstractions to the point you reach atoms or "implementations", [note, I do remember of a (joke) book titled "How to ride a bike" where the author explained literally everything you needed to know to be able to ride a bike, to the point it became absurd]).

Anyway, you should at least try it. Smart people often are terrible at explaining stuff because they don't need to do the work of diving into the atoms of abstractions, and because sometimes also language is not their primary tool to think about things.

Tldr; are you sure you are understandable ?

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#574

Post by mym1990 »

anyfoo wrote: post #269
mym1990 wrote: post #203

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I get the sentiment though. Happiness is a mix of the right hormones firing, so the question is: how does intelligence affect different types of hormones, if at all. Given how sensitive our hormones are, it would be difficult to control only for “intelligence”.

By that logic, "How does loved one dying affect different type of hormones, if at all. Given how sensitive our hormones are, it would be difficult to control only for 'loss of a loved one'". If you have depression or another condition affecting your affect and your emotions, sure. Otherwise it's pretty obvious to anyone that concepts on orders of magnitude higher levels than hormones being correlated with happiness,…

Loss of a loved one is a very specific event, intelligence is a very broad idea that isn't even well defined. I have no idea what this means: "concepts on orders of magnitude higher levels than hormones". I guess your intelligence is just much higher than mine.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#575

Post by scotty79 »

High intelligence is an anomaly. And anomalous brains are often anomalous in more than one way at the same time. More intelligent brains aren't better. They are just more unusual in many aspects but both in positive and negative direction. So if you average out intelligent people across other axes they pretty much sum up to the same mean despite some of them being surprisingly strange.

For every super-intelligent Holocaust denier you'd find one other equally intelligent person with superbly strong bullshit filter that won't fall for any fake narrative.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#576

Post by Foobar8568 »

Tade0 wrote: post #468
Foobar8568 wrote: post #426

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's the case of my 10yo. That though of spirals is really a scary thing.

That's a specific problem that can be addressed. Here's a https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRvbh8xCi4w

It has nothing to do with the problem.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#577

Post by CrimsonCape »

chermi wrote: post #118
zdragnar wrote: post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As I heard someone say, happiness is your reality minus your expectations. Smart people see more variables that could be changed, more components that could be modified, and are less likely to accept things as they are. This creates a false sense of ease by which reality could be modified, and thus higher expectations for the world around them. I suspect this misplaces happiness and contentment, but the two are also…

I think smart people are told much more often as kids how bright of a future they have. So they build up expectations of "succeeding" in some sense (becoming a doctor, getting rich, etc.). These are the sort of expectations you mention in your quote. Not only is there often pressure put on you if you're smart, you adopt those expectations yourself. Or at least hold yourself to that standard. Of course, being smart do…

Your experience is one that the internet identified long ago under the moniker "special snowflake" as a derogatory. Derogatory because you are not special or unique even though someone conditioned you to think so.

That said, do you go so far as to accuse an entire generation of parents of conspiracy to brainwash their kids? Have you ever considered that the advice they gave was appropriate? For a while in the 80s and 90s, pretty much all white collar jobs had multiple specializations within each job, such that it made sense to expect your kid would need to find some unique niche.

Instead, the subsequent decades demonstrated that specialized knowledge was being centralized behind corporations, and corporations would use the same technology available to individuals to centralize even more. It's not hard to see the internet and global connectivity as disruptors of 'old' normality.

I guess the point is that the advice given to you was fresh but went stale fast due to the world changing.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#578

Post by hinkley »

queuebert wrote: post #354
hinkley wrote: post #295

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Polymaths in particular could be good or great at many things. It’s a matter of choice and opportunity. But they can’t be great at absolutely everything. So one choice closes another. And the grass is greener on the other side.

And cumulative opportunity costs take their toll.

Particularly if a school of knowledge is at all dangerous. To the body or the mind. For instance trying to cure an infectious disease, which is both every time you fail.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#579

Post by GoblinSlayer »

mancerayder wrote: post #348
johndhi wrote: post #316

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Lot of interesting views in this thread. One thing I loved from Osho (spiritual guru) is the notion that everyone thinks they are "extraordinary" but actually the happiest person is the person who is ordinary. Being ordinary and just eating breakfast and sleeping and doing a job is - in fact - extraordinarily rare.

The same Osho who ran an expensive cult in the 70s and 80s? Putting that aside, it's hard for me to associate simple with happiness. That's the opposite of motivation, from my unenlightened perspective. It's hardly a rational or smart choice since not being challenged also makes one a bit narrower when it comes to seeking out new experiences. But even if you take the intellect out of it, it 'feels' wrong. And some th…

For me result brings fulfillment. Challenge is a problem, not something desirable.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#580

Post by dlivingston »

uberduper wrote: post #272
borroka wrote: post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Asking why smart people aren't happier is a bit like asking why people who can jump high aren't more empathetic. There's no direct link between the two" - I disagree. If we consider happiness, as we should, as something that can be achieved and not simply granted (for example, the ability to walk is granted, it is not something that humans, apart from pathologies and special cases, have to develop through conscious…

If I'm smart, I certainly don't feel like it. I can tell you I do not enjoy thinking. I hate it. It is a compulsion that I cannot avoid. I know that it makes most interactions in my life more difficult. I know it's a source of unhappiness. I cannot stop thinking. I want to do. Not think. I fail to do. I think about failure.

You should look into meditation.

Let me explain.

Meditation teaches that your thoughts are uncontrolled expressions of your subconcious; as are your worries, your fears, your anxieties.

To meditate is not to stop thinking thoughts, but to observe them as they spontaneously appear, and - just as quickly - disappear. To recognize that you are not the thinker of your thoughts. To view them from a place of detachment and curious observation, instead of a place of investment and worry.

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