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Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

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Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#571

Post by npteljes »

leoedin wrote: post #539
npteljes wrote: post #466

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>The "it's too hard to have kids" crew is selecting against themselves, evolutionary speaking. That won't last. That's not how it work. Evolution only selects for hereditary, biological factors, and even then, it's not a guarantee. "Stupid people" won't "die out" for the same reason.

Is the desire to have kids (as opposed to just sex) genetic? Given that pretty much everything about our personalities seems to be genetic to some extent, it seems pretty likely.

I think you can work this out backwards: if it was genetic, to a significant degree, then we wouldn't see it around. I believe that the largest predictor for the number of kids is socioeconomic circumstance, and culture.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#572

Post by AmericanChopper »

lolinder wrote: post #140
bongodongobob wrote: post #75

You're baffled people aren't having kids? What bubble do you live in? People straight up can't afford housing much less children. The avg American is completely priced out of owning a home right now. Edit: the replies - y'all are out of touch. Visit an average family in the Midwest with a household income of < $100k/yr that doesn't own a home yet.

This is unnecessarily confrontational and inaccurate. According to census.gov, the current national homeownership rate is hovering at about 66%, which is about the same rate that it's been (+/- 3%) since they started tracking in 1964 [0][1]. This isn't restricted to old people either: 49% of 30 to 34 year olds and 58% of 35 to 39 year olds owned a home in Q4 2023 [2]. There are certainly regional differences in housi…

The parent commenter also doesn’t know what the word “housing” means. Being able to afford housing means being able to afford a place to live, it doesn’t mean owning your own house. Just like being able to afford food doesn’t mean owning your own farm, having access to drinking water doesn’t mean owning your own well or river, and having access to the internet doesn’t mean owning your own ISP.

To be clear I agree that affordable home ownership is a big problem, but not being able to afford home ownership is a very different thing from not being able to afford housing, and substituting one concept with the other is just an intentionally dishonest way of muddying the waters of any discussion on the topic.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#573

Post by aqme28 »

bowsamic wrote: post #398
khazhoux wrote: post #384

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It really bothers me when people say "oh you're missing out, that's such a shame" Do you have any friends or relatives who refuse to try ramen or pho, no matter how many times you tell them that it's the best food ever, and that you also thought it seemed weird to put steak in a broth with noodles until you finally gave it a try and then you couldn't believe how delicious it was and you wish you'd tried it years ea…

Ramen and pho isn't that good though. I've had gross ramen. I don't understand your analogy.

Some kids are also not good, so at least that part of the analogy tracks.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#574

Post by wolvesechoes »

bongodongobob wrote: post #75

You're baffled people aren't having kids? What bubble do you live in? People straight up can't afford housing much less children. The avg American is completely priced out of owning a home right now. Edit: the replies - y'all are out of touch. Visit an average family in the Midwest with a household income of < $100k/yr that doesn't own a home yet.

There is just one, single reason for the decline of births in so-called developed or developing countries - women emancipation. Anything else is simply a cope from people that are unable to acknowledge the fact that everything has a price.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#576

Post by vintermann »

skissane wrote: post #286
NoPicklez wrote: post #253

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Whilst I don't disagree with you. That doesn't mean those with mortgages aren't struggling to pay. Also if true, that is insane that the average american lives in a home that they own by the time they're 35. That is so far and wide not the case here in Australia. Here in Australia, we don't have fixed rate mortgages for the life of the mortgage we have variable and fixed upto around 1-5 years. Our interest rates have…

> Here in Australia Australia has made a bunch of home-ownership-unfriendly decisions which the US hasn't – e.g. in the US you get a mortgage interest deduction on your primary residence, in Australia you only get it on investment properties (joint filing for married couples, which the US has but Australia doesn't, also helps here); in the US owner-occupier mortgages are normally no-recourse, in Australia they are al…

> in the US you get a mortgage interest deduction on your primary residence,

Well that wouldn't be so bad to get rid of but ...

> in Australia you only get it on investment properties

WHAT? That's blatant landlord-pandering!

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#577

Post by brushfoot »

echelon wrote: post #187
zigman1 wrote: post #180

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You know what is also anti-child? Having parents that were completely unprepared to be parents. Stop with this dopamine epidemic nonsense excuse for everything that isn't working the way you want

[flagged]

> Maybe it'd thrill you to know I haven't heard or spoken to that person in over twenty years, and that he abused me?

You being a millionaire doesn't mean you aren't still dealing with that trauma. Some people internalize their abuse, forcing themselves to ever-higher levels of achievement to try to be worthy of the love they never received.

Your dismissals of parenting concerns are borderline emotionally abusive in themselves, gaslighting others' experiences by repeatedly claiming that things are "just fine" on the whole. For many people, things are not just fine, and not having children is a valid response to that, and an empathetic one.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#578

Post by aiisdoomed »

bongodongobob wrote: post #75

You're baffled people aren't having kids? What bubble do you live in? People straight up can't afford housing much less children. The avg American is completely priced out of owning a home right now. Edit: the replies - y'all are out of touch. Visit an average family in the Midwest with a household income of < $100k/yr that doesn't own a home yet.

You’d be surprised how disconnected from reality people are. There’s talk in every western country about population aging and housing affordability yet people cant see either. Office workers are out of the child making equation and they are the least aware of the world outside. Being constantly gaslight and ordered around does that to you. But the issue is that the trend is to obliterate all types of income sources outside office cattle farming and fewer people will afford the luxury of a family and friends. The frog is warm but will boil surely.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#579

Post by surgical_fire »

geff82 wrote: post #486
kelnos wrote: post #451

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I could absolutely afford to have children, but have chosen not to. The main reason is that I just don't feel "called" to be a parent. When I think about (and see, from others I know who have kids) the amount of work, and complete shift in lifestyle, it takes to raise a child, I get completely turned off by the idea. If I had a kid, I'm sure I'd love them, and derive joy from them, but I don't believe the trade off i…

"The amount of work".... oh dear. As if caring for other people is only work. From what will you get distracted by having other people around you (kids)? From Instragram? Cycling? Reading books? What intensely important things do you have to do that deserve no distraction? Having kids is not work. It is not only joy either. It is just the natural way of being a human. The - natural - way - of - being - a - human!!! N…

> "The amount of work".... oh dear. As if caring for other people is only work. From what will you get distracted by having other people around you (kids)? From Instragram? Cycling? Reading books?

What if they prefer Instagram, Cycling and Reading Books rather than raising children? Why are you so concerned about other people's lifestyles? Are you going to pay their rent or help them with their chores?

I decided to have a child, and it was a conscious decision I made with my partner, fully aware that our previous lifestyle would be no more. Deciding not to have a child would have been equally as valid.

I find it funny that this discussion elicits so much passion from people that decided to have children. Do you need validation from other people to justify your own decisions?

Whenever I am asked about it, I say that you should not have children unless you are absolutely certain that you want a child in your life, and that your life is stable enough to accommodate one. The world sucks even in the best of times. To condemn someone to existence when their lives will be made more difficult is selfish and cruel.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#580

Post by wolvesechoes »

Dalewyn wrote: post #531
bongodongobob wrote: post #75

You're baffled people aren't having kids? What bubble do you live in? People straight up can't afford housing much less children. The avg American is completely priced out of owning a home right now. Edit: the replies - y'all are out of touch. Visit an average family in the Midwest with a household income of < $100k/yr that doesn't own a home yet.

I can afford children but swore to never have them nor marry, for the following reasons: * Life is a hellhole. My children must witness my (and my hypothetical spouse's) deaths; witnessing death is a fucking hellish experience , I motherfucking do not desire to force that experience on anyone let alone my children. * The world will continue. The Earth has spun and travelled around the Sun for time immemorial and will…

'"Giving birth is troublesome," — say others — "why still give birth? One beareth only the unfortunate!" And they also are preachers of death.'
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