Under the skin of OnlyFans • Hacker News Board

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#571

Post by sudosysgen » Wed, Jul 21, 2021, 12:06 AM UTC

leppr wrote: post #532

FabHK wrote: post #527

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> plainly most relationships of employment do involve some sort of exploitation Well, that's already a much more defensible statement than "All work under capitalism is exploitative". But I'd want to add that not all relationships (and that includes work relationships) fall neatly into a oppressor vs. oppressed or exploitative "dominant superior" vs. exploited worker scheme. (Who'd have thought that you find me decon…

> All work under capitalism is exploitative and all work that involves emotional labor (e.g. all service work) can be particularly damaging, but sex work is its own separate beast [...]. Instead of reading the first part of the sentence as a statement of some kind of general truth, I read it as an axiom to the rest of the sentence in which it relatively made very good common sense . I guess this difference in reading…

I would recommend that you watch the second video. The first one is not something you can get anything out of without a lot of baggage and even then there is much to disagree with. The second is much better.

I don't think anyone actually believes that literally all work under capitalism is exploitive outside of very specific definitions of work, exploitative, and capitalism. It is meant as common sense.

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#572

Post by SilverRed » Wed, Jul 21, 2021, 12:10 AM UTC

blindmute wrote: post #465

SilverRed wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Have you considered the alternative that this is not an evil which you are unable to control but just another way of living / thinking of sexual content? There is nothing inherently evil about this stuff so why is it terrible that it is becoming more accepted/common? If in 30 years we live in a society where people post nudes like they do facebook posts, is there anything wrong about this? Could you describe the harm…

Whether you like it or not, sex has an implicit emotional component that cannot be overlooked. Sex work is not the same as normal work but naked. Posting nudes is not the same as posting normal pictures. There is an amount of soul involved when humans deal with sex, whether the involved parties realize it at the time or not. The more this becomes normalized, the more unhealthy the soul of a society becomes. No, I don…

I appreciate your personal opinion and just felt like sharing my own personal counter opinion. Being a gay person in the furry community, posting nudes on IM groups is something that is just done almost like you would post a selfie at the beach. I have seen nudes of most of my friends and even some of my coworkers and the other way around. No one treats it as weird or awkward, its just something you do.

It doesn't devalue personal interactions offline or make me feel like a soulless void. I feel like most of the issues that the general public has on this issue is not fundamental parts of humans or society, but simply norms which we have come to embed so deeply they feel fundamental.

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#573

Post by nitwit005 » Wed, Jul 21, 2021, 12:26 AM UTC

650REDHAIR wrote: post #20

So our kids are getting older so I've been paying more attention to popular social networks and it's wild how many YouTubers, Twitch'ers, TikTok'ers, Instagram'ers have OF content directly linked from their non-porn bios. I don't like it, but I'm not sure what a good solution is. I mean, people are free to do what they'd like, but it's hard to police screen time 100% of the time and their peer group has a lot more ac…

Is it all that much of a change? If it was a few decades back, they'd be watching TV where the commercial breaks had advertisements for "Girls Gone Wild", and MTV had that show Undressed that was often compared to pornography on late at night.

I suppose it's different that "influencers" are pushing it instead of companies, but the basic problems seems fairly similar.

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#574

Post by roca » Wed, Jul 21, 2021, 12:32 AM UTC

scrollaway wrote: post #275

roca wrote: post #194

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We've been doing a decades-long experiment to test whether getting rid of the stigma makes porn harmless. So far, the results aren't good. But for the sake of science apparently we have to run the experiment to the end.

Results aren't good according to... You?

Lots of porn users are unhappy about their use of porn. Lots of people are unhappy about their partner's use of porn. Lots of therapists are worried about their clients' use of porn. Etc. And these are not issues of stigma; we know that because to be taken seriously in the media everyone talking about their problems has to start with "I'm not against porn per se, but ..."

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#575

Post by [deleted] » Wed, Jul 21, 2021, 12:35 AM UTC

anotherman554 wrote: post #503

monkeybutton wrote: post #435

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree that the question further up did come off as rather paternalistic in a bad way but their central point has merit: by continuing to support his wife's decision to work in that environment, doesn't that make him an enabler for the abuse?

I think your question presumes among other things that the wife has better career options and/or no need for money, or we have a better idea than the wife what career is best for her. I don't think any of us have any idea what the facts of the situation is. So it's not clear to me anyone is "enabling" anything.

[deleted]

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#576

Post by XCSme » Wed, Jul 21, 2021, 12:42 AM UTC

jszymborski wrote: post #440

dfxm12 wrote: post #414

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The creators would somehow be surprised when they realised we couldn't remove content from other websites. Don't you have skin in this, too? I would expect that you would want to protect your content in much the same way a film studio protects their content when it pops up on 3rd party sites. I don't know if you're being obtuse with your wording here, but whether or not your customers realized that you can't physical…

If I'm totally honest, I never thought of it this way, but humour me this: if OF and the like are considered distributors in the traditional sense of the entertainment world, would they typically be responsible for engaging in legal disputes over unauthorized distribution? My feeble understanding of the law is that it would be more appropriate for copyright holders to sue in instances of illegal distribution. I under…

I highly doubt that, I used to sell software on Envato marketplaces (ThemeForest/CodeCanyon) and even Envato can't do much as you are still the copyright holder, unless you give away all your rights to the seller.

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#577

Post by XCSme » Wed, Jul 21, 2021, 12:44 AM UTC

m12k wrote: post #407

mrweasel wrote: post #405

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> A 'fan' went nuclear and was waging all out digital war. If I where to change profession it is things like this that would push me towards psychology. I am deeply fascinated by actions of, well, assholes. How are they broken and why?

I see it the other way around: Not being an asshole isn't the default, it's something you need to learn, and not everyone does. I actually have a sneaking suspicion that most people don't learn it, but just learn to fake it while others are watching.

I think that most animals are non-assholes by default, doing mostly what it takes to survive and live as peacefully as possible.

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#578

Post by NateEag » Wed, Jul 21, 2021, 1:17 AM UTC

wonderwonder wrote: post #489

NateEag wrote: post #315

Earlier quoted context omitted.

At a guess, because his wife is a human and gets to make her own decisions?

I hear this a lot and I feel that often people making this statement are being disingenuous. My wife and I are a team, if she is doing something that I don't like then I can ask her to stop, she can do the same for me. An extreme example but if your wife / husband was cheating on you, could you not ask them to stop as they "a human and gets to make their own decisions"? Same thing applies to work, a job can take over…

Yes, defining a boundary of what you're willing to put up with is vital when someone you love is being self-destructive.

That is knowing what you are going to do, and when, and communicating that to your partner.

It is not about controlling what they do, which is what the wording of "let your wife" implies (whether intentionally or not).

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#579

Post by NateEag » Wed, Jul 21, 2021, 1:20 AM UTC

feudalism wrote: post #562

NateEag wrote: post #315

Earlier quoted context omitted.

At a guess, because his wife is a human and gets to make her own decisions?

Oh good grief, why not use the same argument for heroine addicts? If someone you love is involved in something that is ruinous for them, you help them out.

You should try, for sure.

But you can't make them stop choosing to take the next hit.

All you can do is try to persuade them to stop.

Sometimes defining boundaries of what you'll tolerate is part of that, as I've described elsewhere in the thread.

That's about knowing what you will do and when, then communicating it to the others in the situation. It's not about controlling what they choose to do.

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#580

Post by jasonlotito » Wed, Jul 21, 2021, 1:20 AM UTC

emptysongglass wrote: post #504

jasonlotito wrote: post #490

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If not, please understand the position I'm coming from first. This doesn't change anything I said. Nor change the fact that your attitude is part of the problem. You are not unique in your point of view, but having that point of view doesn't mean your opinions are immediately valid. > I do not make this observation as one uninitiated. But you are. You are just an observer. You are not a SW yourself. > I write with…

I encourage you to read and listen to the stories of sex workers who are speaking their experience directly. Here's a former sex worker I really like on TikTok who is part of a wave of Gen Z'ers who are pushing back on the narrative that sex work is somehow liberating, good, or healthy. [1] [1] https://www.tiktok.com/@profitfromtrauma/video/6926281617094...

> I encourage you to read and listen to the stories of sex workers who are speaking their experience directly.

I could say the same thing to you.

Because I have. I've been doing it for 20+ years now.

But also because you literally admit to ignoring sex workers. You can't just pick and choose those that support your narrative.

I'm done with this conversation. It's clear you aren't interesting in having a real discussion, and just pushing an agenda while at the same time insulting your friends, your wife, and ignoring the people you pretend to support.