STFU

Post by jasondigitized » Sat, Jan 17, 2026, 1:11 PM UTC

ArnoVW wrote: post #355

pixl97 wrote: post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You mean "As with anything in life it depends on a huge number of variables such as location, number of allies the other person has, the threat potential you represent, the number of allies you have, your standing on the social ladder, if you're in a position of power, your ability to understand social clues, the exact method how you ask, yada yada"

No. It delends on how you ask. Did you walk over? Did you say hi? Did you lower yourself to be around their height? Give them a second or two to get used to you? Tell them first that their noise is loud ? Ask them in a respectable tone if they would lower it, just a bit? Did you give the impression that you were asking, not demanding? Of course I won't ask a drunk or aggressive looking person. But there is a wrong wa…

Post by strken » Sat, Jan 17, 2026, 1:14 PM UTC

onethought wrote: post #458

stavros wrote: post #415

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Plus devices are tinny and grate. Watching a video on the phone of someone speaking is much more annoying than someone speaking in person, even at the same volume.

I think this is the only meaningful point being made in this thread. The sound from a phone speaker is annoying, more so, than a typical in person talking. To me the solution lies somewhere in fixing that to make it sound more natural. Everyone else claiming that some how having “loud” conversation is rude, feels like they’ve fallen into some anti-social hole… we are literally the only animal to have developed comple…

Post by slumberlust » Sat, Jan 17, 2026, 1:29 PM UTC

getdoneist wrote: post #464

Spooky23 wrote: post #302

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s a two-way street. I used to have to deal with unhinged people on the regular and one of the techniques that keep the peace and stay safe is to present an edge that gives the vibe that you may be more unhinged. My dad used to run housing projects, and my uncle was an assistant principal at one of the most violent schools in New York City. They were like Jedi masters of presence. They had stories that were absolut…

It is pure game theory. An aggressive person expects no bad outcomes from his passive victim. If they get a signal that their own outcome may be not that good, even marginally, this very often changes their behaviour. That's why the advice to act submissively presented as "avoiding confrontation" is often the wrong advice. You are not seeking confrontation, but you should signal that you are ready for confrontation.…

Post by the_wolo » Sat, Jan 17, 2026, 1:35 PM UTC

Post by four-taurus » Sat, Jan 17, 2026, 2:08 PM UTC

gsinclair wrote: post #549

nozzlegear wrote: post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My wife and I were sitting in the coffee shop/dining area of our grocery store not long ago, eating breakfast before we bought our groceries. There's a gentleman who's usually there on the same weekend days that we are, and he watches videos on his phone very loudly. It was clearly annoying everyone around, but this being Minnesota, nobody was going to bother him about it (instead they just do little glances over the…

That’s good, and I also have spoken to people in public about their noise several times, but… That dude shouldn’t be turning it down; he should be turning it off. My go-to line is: “Excuse me, do you have any earphones?”