Why aren't smart people happier? • Hacker News Board

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#561

Post by a123b456c » Thu, Nov 06, 2025, 5:06 PM UTC

hearsathought wrote: post #551

Ardon wrote: post #53

Might be useful to ask a different question: What makes people happy? It's things like relationships, satisfying work, accomplishment. (and many, many more) Then the real question emerges: How many of those happiness 'sources' are made better by intelligence? What percentage? Relationships? Seems like no. Work? Also seems like no, lots of work doesn't make use of a high IQ that people enjoy nonetheless. Accomplishmen…

> It's things like relationships, satisfying work, accomplishment. (and many, many more) That's the point. Smarter people tend to have more stable relationships, satisfying work, accomplishments. ( and many, many more ). > How many of those happiness 'sources' are made better by intelligence? All of them. You get better jobs with intelligence. You achieve greater accomplishments via intelligence. And your relationshi…

You had me until you said that "all of it is fleeting and ultimately meaningless - relationships, work, accomplishments. (and many, many more)"

My dear friend. These are the only types of meaning that matters, and its fleeting nature is why we need to appreciate and savor them.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#562

Post by rawgabbit » Thu, Nov 06, 2025, 5:08 PM UTC

Induane wrote: post #262

rawgabbit wrote: post #238

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Might be useful to ask a different question: What makes people happy? This is the age old question. For me at least, the quest for meaning lead me to reason. Reason and logic, then led me to two choices. First is there is no meaning, no purpose, and life is what you make or not make of it; this is more commonly known as nihilism. The second choice is a literal leap of faith; this argues that humans are incapable of…

It might be the case that the nuance is insufficient (false dichotomy). Suppose someone asks the [emotionally loaded] question: "Is abortion wrong?" Technically this is a yes or no question; a binary. One can quite easily answer that it depends, and then all the nuances can try to be enumerated in more detail. The fact is that the information presented was not actually nuanced enough to answer yes or no despite being…

> "Is abortion wrong?"

It is morally wrong as you are destroying life. If you widen the frame, the question is who should be making this choice. I would argue the mother should make this choice even if it is morally wrong. It is morally wrong because I took a leap of faith that human life from birth to conception is precious.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#563

Post by cwmoore » Thu, Nov 06, 2025, 5:12 PM UTC

trogdor wrote: post #543

yibg wrote: post #534

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think easier said than done. I was similarly labelled as "gifted" as a child and have struggled my entire life with being ok with where I was, in academics, career even romantic relationships. Looking at what I've accomplished and obtained, they're objectively better than average along pretty much every dimension. But, I still struggle to be satisfied. I know this is a me issue, but I also don't know how to change…

Have you tried therapy? For many people, it works.

Why not all?

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#564

Post by lisbbb » Thu, Nov 06, 2025, 5:26 PM UTC

jebarker wrote: post #212

chermi wrote: post #118

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think smart people are told much more often as kids how bright of a future they have. So they build up expectations of "succeeding" in some sense (becoming a doctor, getting rich, etc.). These are the sort of expectations you mention in your quote. Not only is there often pressure put on you if you're smart, you adopt those expectations yourself. Or at least hold yourself to that standard. Of course, being smart do…

For me this has 100% been the main source of unhappiness in my life. I wish nobody had ever told me how smart I was as a child. The reality was that I was above average but in an unremarkable collection of kids mostly. I’ve done fine in life academically and career wise but I’ll never live up to the expectations that were planted in my head. Thankfully you can get over this/yourself and let go of ego, ambition, achie…

Sounds familiar. I did fine in my career, but it never felt like enough and I missed a couple of major opportunities, so I'm not even sure how smart I was. Just high IQ, high test scores, yadda, yadda, yadda. Just wanted to really "kill it" just once, but so far no and now I'm 52.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#565

Post by hirvi74 » Thu, Nov 06, 2025, 5:29 PM UTC

petesergeant wrote: post #558

hirvi74 wrote: post #535

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have an opportunity to try this, and I am absolutely horrified at the prospects. I've just got a bad feeling about it. Plus, I am on a medication that is quite dangerous to mix with it, so that further complicated matters. What's so good about Bupropion?

> What's so good about Bupropion? GSK reps were calling it the happy, horny, skinny pill for a while.

I already have those, and it isn't Bupropion. Hence my hesitation to start Bup on top of those.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#566

Post by lisbbb » Thu, Nov 06, 2025, 5:31 PM UTC

jongjong wrote: post #451

zdragnar wrote: post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As I heard someone say, happiness is your reality minus your expectations. Smart people see more variables that could be changed, more components that could be modified, and are less likely to accept things as they are. This creates a false sense of ease by which reality could be modified, and thus higher expectations for the world around them. I suspect this misplaces happiness and contentment, but the two are also…

Yes, and also, being able to perceive the world in high resolution when everyone else is blind has its own challenges. Less intelligent people may be asking you to step in front of a bus because they don't see the bus and you cannot convince them that the bus exists because they're looking in the same direction as you and they don't see anything there. They don't trust your judgement, especially when others who also…

I feel this way whenever anyone on here downvotes me when I rail against socialism and communism. Like, hey, maybe some people have some lived experiences that are counterexamples, just maybe?

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#567

Post by Hupriene » Thu, Nov 06, 2025, 5:37 PM UTC

cwmoore wrote: post #563

trogdor wrote: post #543

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Have you tried therapy? For many people, it works.

Why not all?

There are a lot of mediocre therapists out there. And even if you do get a reasonably good one, they might not click with you in terms of personality/approach/cultural background.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#568

Post by wat10000 » Thu, Nov 06, 2025, 5:39 PM UTC

robot-wrangler wrote: post #327

alvah wrote: post #318

It's very difficult for most (not all) people to relate to others who are either significantly more or significantly less intelligent than them. So, for example (using IQ as a proxy), most people of average intelligence (~100IQ) would find it difficult to relate to those of ~65IQ, and equally difficult to find much in common with someone much more intelligent than them (140+IQ). Given power laws / bell-curve distribu…

Yes. A useful analogy is to imagine being an adult in a world populated only by children. Aside from the social alienation of it being hard to relate to others, there would be practical matters. The entertainment would all be tedious and predictable, all the rationalizations for bad behavior would be transparently self-interested. Enhanced capabilities for observation, prediction, and planning would make you a super-…

"Imagine"?

It is indeed not that extreme, but sometimes it feels pretty close. It is hard to find entertainment that isn't tedious and predictable. The public seems to eat up rationalizations for bad behavior which are obvious nonsense.

I'm happy at work because I'm surrounded by people smarter, more motivated, and more conscientious than I am. Outside of work, well, some days I dream that Anderson's Brain Wave would come true, the Earth would move out of some magical interstellar intelligence-suppressing field, and everyone's IQ would quintuple overnight.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#569

Post by wat10000 » Thu, Nov 06, 2025, 5:50 PM UTC

emp17344 wrote: post #242

kderbyma wrote: post #231

It’s because everyone else is dumber than them…. So they constantly see avoidable mistakes and misunderstandings that could have been avoided…. Yet they cannot make the other people understand….because they think differently about it, and the people who don’t have that intelligence will not necessarily even be able to reorient their brains for the new information to be absorbed correctly. I constantly get demoralized…

You just sound like a misanthrope. If you’re so smart, why are you surrounding yourself with stupid people? Is it possible you’re not as smart as you think, and in fact, just as fallible as the rest of us?

I am definitely a misanthrope.

How can I not surround myself with stupid people, though? There are so many. No matter where I go, there will be huge numbers of them. I'm surrounded by smart people at work. I can try to only socialize with smart people, but it's hard when a lot of socialization is determined by family. And there's absolutely nothing to be done about the general public on the street, working retail, etc. And worst of all: working in, running, or leading governments.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#570

Post by impossiblefork » Thu, Nov 06, 2025, 5:52 PM UTC

aleph_minus_one wrote: post #166

impossiblefork wrote: post #104

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, but then you know it's a game, so there's no self-deception that you're actually doing something meaningful. This realization thus gives the whole sportsmanship concept.

> Yes, but then you know it's a game, so there's no self-deception that you're actually doing something meaningful. I have reasons to believe that many very successful athletes do have this self-deception.

Some probably do-- McEnroe for example could go rather crazy, but for example, Stefan Edberg and some other people were able to behave very reasonably despite playing for large prizes and despite having presumably participated in tournaments from an early age, knowing that they if they lose a match have to go home and don't get to play any more.