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Explaining Sex Rate Changes

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Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#551
post #299
post #209

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Don't they always adapt to different rule sets anyway? ... Plus kids are more or less constantly probing for edge cases and try to push the boundaries naturally. Isn’t this observation kinda the point of the assertion kids need a stable set of rules at home going back to one source above others whether that is either parent or both as a pair. That’s what prevents them from endlessly pushing their boundaries out. Al…

> Isn’t this observation kinda the point of the assertion kids need a stable set of rules at home going back to one source above others whether that is either parent or both as a pair. That assumes that their parents are the ultimate source of authority and in many cases they aren't. Parents don't typically enforce much of a dress code for instance, but schools will often require uniforms. Kids have to learn a differ…

> That assumes that their parents are the ultimate source of authority and in many cases they aren't.

They're in early age.

> Parents don't typically enforce much of a dress code for instance, but schools will often require uniforms

Ultimately it is on parents. If parents DGAF, kids are likely to stretch the dress code. At least here, schools can only call home and ask parents to make sure they will wear uniforms. Worst school can do is send kid home. Then it's on parents to enforce the uniform.

> Kids have to learn a different set of rules for different contexts

Different context. But multiple-mom-dads at home would be same context with simultaneous nodes.

> The only thing that seems to prevent it (or limit it anyway) is constant enforcement, but that's also usually limited to where they have authority

And with multiple-mom-dads it's likely there won't be constant, consistent enforcement.

We've a saying in my mother tongue that roughly translates to "9 nannies and the kid is headless". So far in my observations it's 120% true. Both in kids raising and elsewhere in life, e.g. project masnagement. If there's no single person who takes responsibility (or multiple persons coordinating fantastically well), you're in for a rough ride.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#552

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Your comment is simply veiled misogyny.

Maybe assume good faith and talk to them so you can educate us? Don’t leave us hanging.

I tried. I couldn't come up with a charitable interpretation of "harms far more people" that I could respond to in a meaningful way. So I concluded that it was a troll and lashed out.

It'd probably be better if I just ignored the comment. But I think the claim "harms far more people" is absurd if you consider the unequal harms done to women through history, and the fact that they're half the population. The commenter didn't make an effort to engage in good faith discussion with my post so it's unreasonable to apply the same standard to me.

I'm happy to reply to comments like yours though.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#553

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Enforced monogamy + the risk of pregnancy is not a "solution". The risk of pregnancy is a biological fact with far more severe penalties for women. Enforced monogamy in western societies is part of a broader history of social control that came to exist because it was good at perpetuating itself-- and which also unfairly disadvantaged women. It's unfortunate that we evolved to be the way we are, but the "instability"…

> which also unfairly disadvantaged women FWIW, enforced monogamy is harmful to women in some ways (hard to leave a bad relationship), but helpful in others (it's hard to end up a single mom when the norm around unexpected pregnancies is a shotgun wedding).

Yes, enforced monogamy may be helpful to women in some circumstances. But I think we both know it's not that simple. Sometimes it's better to be a single mom than stuck in a bad marriage with a husband who didn't want that in the first place.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#554
post #403

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The risk for the wife is that he will turn possessive, controlling and as a result abusive. Because he bought her, he will want to have control over her. She will never be respected partner with equal agency. The risk is also in sort of men attracted to this proposition. They are literally dangerous ones to date, whether physically or for mental abuse. Having to run out of abusive marriage sux big time and have long…

And that is the risk she is accommodating in. She could always divorce away before it turns bad and look for other options. That is what the parent comment means "the beautiful wife will soon discover she has much better possibilities in the new country." Abusive marriages have nothing to do with if they wedded out of mail order or love. Either can turn abusive. > Because he bought her, Buying humans is illegal. > Sh…

Abusive relationships have a lot to do with one party believing to be entitled to control the other party. And those who order a bride are in that category. It is not like they would be ordering her for any other reason.

That is simple risk factor evaluation one does when selecting partners. Normaly you guess on small hints, in this case it is pretty easy to see where you stand.

For sex, there is prostitution. This mail oder thing is about other wishes. And plan to be cool with whatever she decides to do is not one of them.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#555
post #270
post #26

As the article points out, fewer young men are having sex, but roughly the same number of young women are having sex. I wonder if dating apps (Tinder, Bumble, etc.) are leading women to have sex with a smaller cohort of desirable men. Years ago, OkCupid noted that a small percentage of men get an overwhelming percentage of messages from women. With the rise of "swipe right, swipe left" mobile dating apps, where peopl…

To me there are two important factors that explain that: * Dating apps, not good looking people have hard time getting any match on those kind of apps, so for those that use app and don't try to meet any other girls in real life I can easily understand that they don't have sex with any girls. Also these apps tends to increase expectations of people because they see beautiful people all day. * Porno, porno is more and…

Isn't porn be it movies or books also available to women?

Riiight, but it is much safer for a woman to hookup on Tinder with a hot stranger than to watch porn like the nerds who absolutely preffer porn to actual sex do.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#556
post #26

As the article points out, fewer young men are having sex, but roughly the same number of young women are having sex. I wonder if dating apps (Tinder, Bumble, etc.) are leading women to have sex with a smaller cohort of desirable men. Years ago, OkCupid noted that a small percentage of men get an overwhelming percentage of messages from women. With the rise of "swipe right, swipe left" mobile dating apps, where peopl…

I'm confident that it's down to the freedom of choice. That is, people are exposed to a lot more candidates nowadays and rely less on their own social circles for partners. I believe everyone would like to get together with the most attractive people, however in practice it doesn't work like that and there's a distinct gender skew in that area.

It's almost like we are genetically hard wired to like sugars and fat and fast food chains enable us to get fat.

Oh no, that obviously isn't the case, it must be a conspiracy by the patriarchy to make it look so, we are actually hard-wired to like veggies but the fast food comercials we are bombarded every day brainwash us to eat fats and sugar. Also toxic masculinuty.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#557
post #502
post #424

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Indeed, and it would also explain why it happens for young men in particular - as people get older, they start prioritizing monogamy, it being likely the better structure for raising kids (according to current social standards, at least) (technically, marriage doesn't mean monogamy - cheating is common - but I imagine not many men would sign up to raise children in a couple without having sex with their partners).

If by "people" you mean women in their thirties waking up to the biological clock/last maternity "all aboard" call, sure. Young men have it worse list like older women have it: because men are attracted to youth and beauty and women are attracted to resources and status.

He probably means people when he says people. Men, too as they get older often have the same priority shift.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#558

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> George Clooney is probably at least 1000 times richer than Joe Average. So he could provide better for 50 women than Joe Average for one. Assuming all of a woman’s needs are financial, sure. But unless he is hiring Joe Averages to provide personal attention and emotional support (and there are issues with the viability of that), not really in the universe of what appears to be real human needs.

Exactly this. And having a mate who is exclusively committed to you can have a much better distribution of outcomes at the bottom end than an allowance from some rich guy who isn't very invested in you. After all, if somebody isn't committed enough to make you their one and only, why should you believe that they'll keep sending money your way.

I'm not arguing women should prefer Clooney over Joe Average. Just what the general disposition of the human race is. Obviously there are all sorts of strategies for life, and all sorts of aspects to consider. It's just a general tendency, not a hard cut rule.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#559
post #233

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Jordan Peterson, is that you? :D

Hah, no. I think Dr. Peterson certainly makes some interesting points regarding these topics, but his solution seems to be a return to a pre-21st century model of societal values. I don't believe that this is tenable - the cat is already out of the bag and the Pandora's box of technology can't be closed.

I was just having a go at your vocabulary use - which I don't object to in any way - just reminded me of his. I actually agree with your analysis of his viewpoint on the matter. There are some valid aspects to it but that ship has sailed.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#560
post #337

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"[In Tinder,] the bottom 80% of men (in terms of attractiveness) are competing for the bottom 22% of women and the top 78% of women are competing for the top 20% of men" - from https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-g... (2015). I dive a bit it that topic in "Dating for nerds (part 2): gender differences" https://p.migdal.pl/2017/09/30/dating-for-nerds-gender-diffe... .

It is noteworthy that such statistics are not solely reflecting preferences, they may also reflect effects of the dating app itself! Among the many hidden psychological bugs in Tinder, an especially toxic one is that new users are presented with the most attractive profiles first. So the fact that many men don't get anything while others get a lot might be strongly amplified by a system that simply HIDES AWAY those o…

Moreover, online dating is a different market. See "Online Dating and the Death of the 'Mixed-Attractiveness' Couple" https://priceonomics.com/online-dating-and-the-death-of-the-.... And well, it varies from an app to an app, when it comes to the details.
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