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I'm an addict

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541–550 of 602 posts

Re: I'm an addict

#541

Sounds like OP isn't necessarily an addict: they have ADHD. Half the article was them complaining about poor working memory, and the rest about getting stimulation/dopamine from unhealthy sources. Everyone has "a little ADHD". We all occasionally , forget things, hyperfocus on things we are excited about, etc. ADHD is the disorder of having those struggles so often it's debilitating. It stems from having an underdeve…

> Because of the deficit in stimulus, people with untreated ADHD are statistically much more likely to have a substance abuse disorder (SAD); but in many cases, treating their ADHD (with medication and cognitive behavioral therapy) has the side effect of treating their SAD

I feel like I am one of the rare people that developed a SAD from medically treating ADHD. It's not from the intended effects of the medication, but from trying to treat the side-effects.

Re: I'm an addict

#542
post #339

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Medication came with unacceptable side-effects for me. Real bummer.

There may be different medications that can help. I was initially given Dexedrine (dextroamphetamine) and it was so good and I wrote the most beautiful code and my focus was pure and I needed more and more and I lined the pills up at night and did I mention beautiful code, on on sentences and becoming insufferable? Anyway, I switched to a different stimulant (vyvanse) which had a more measured effect and did not lead…

> At some point my brain hits what I think of as an “activation level” and I suddenly “flip” my attention and focus to the job at hand. It feels like what happens when you’re kindling a fire, and you get a little bit of flame in some dry stuff, and then you “pop” that flame (attention) into the larger pile of fuel.

What a wonderful way to describe such a feeling. I have struggled, and still struggle, with the same issue. I have no idea of get that switch to flip on faster, but I hate wasting so much of my day just waiting.

Re: I'm an addict

#543
post #394

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I feel seen. My mechanism for remaining focused and getting through work has been to consume harder illicit substances, mostly cocaine. It's effective but definitely not sustainable long time and I'm not too sure where from here.

I mix Adderall and marijuana. It's horrible for my health, but boy does it work. Adderall gets my mind moving, and pot keeps me sitting in my chair, ignorant of the passage of time, focused on work. As counterproductive as it seems, I think pot makes me more mindful, which can boost my work productivity. Sometimes I will smoke and then spend 30 minutes organizing my folder structures, documenting code, or writing a s…

> I mix Adderall and marijuana.

What's the evidence that it is horrible for your health?

I am in the same boat, but I couldn't find anything conclusive when I was trying to do my research. Just various things that either or can cause an increase in heart rate and blood pressure, and I would assume combining both just increases said cardiac effects more.

Re: I'm an addict

#545

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> “Why” we exist is coincidence and millions of years of happy little evolutionary experiments blindly conducted by nature. I'm not religious either, but I always find this hard to believe. What are the odds nature happened to provide all the building blocks for us to be here to question our existence? It seems far more likely that (i) nothing would exist, (ii) the universe wouldn't have the right combination of prop…

I think you are struggling with something I thought a lot about too. It is difficult for our brains to actually internalize the /immense/ amount of time evolutionary processes have been happening. It is so long and vast and our brains are barely good with comprehending hours and days. It is a mind bogglingly loooong time. Like really, really, really long. A lot can happen in a few billion years :)

I understand evolution and the time frame. I have no trouble with that concept. What I find difficult to believe is that a viable universe started in the first place to give evolution the opportunity to succeed.

Re: I'm an addict

#546

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I hold unto my right as a mammal to be inefficient and sit drooling looking at trees. OK, I get this. Really, I do. I've spent many many hours doing "nothing" just like this, and those have generally been happy times. But ... how would that change if you had a lot more free time? Could you spend all day every day in such a state? Would it be healthy if you did? The reason I ask is that I've had to grapple with that…

I agree. I recently came on sick leave due to stress and had to grasp the immense amount of sudden time on my hands. Since i am on sickleave due to anxiety, stress and skizotypia i dont usually like being alone with my thoughts. so what ive done with my time is this: Wake up, fill my thermos with hot water. Leave my apartment. Drive around on my bike looking for hidden places. It can be an empty lot behind a supermar…

How much instant coffee do you drink? And have you tried going without caffeine? Some are very sensitive to caffeine.

I like your routine though, I envy those who live in walkable areas!

Re: I'm an addict

#547

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree with this completely. I sounded just like the OP. I struggled with it for decades. Then recently I was diagnosed and started taking medication. Some of the problems basically stopped instantly. I implore anyone reading this and noticing it in themselves to go to a professional and find out if you have ADHD or not. I am by no means "cured" or completely functional but at least now I have a fighting chance.

Glad it works for you but I don't think taking "party drugs" on a daily basis is a good long-term idea

Alternative title: prescription pharmaceuticals should be taken as per the advice of a doctor, in the way they benefit patients - and people should stop recreationally taking them when it hurts it's reputation.

Re: I'm an addict

#548
post #21

This hits hard. I recently counted hours watched on YT (via history export) and OH MY GD, it averaged around 3 hours daily throught the year, for several years. I just imagined WHAT IF I have spent this amount of effort and time on ANYTHING else: playing an instrument, learning a new language, coding a side-project. The thought scared me so much, aka the difference between current me and "potential" me that I have ab…

I started learning Japanese about two years ago now and now all of the time I used to waste watching YouTube is spent watching YouTube in Japanese as language practice. It's still the same activity but is at least somewhat productive. I barely go on Hacker News too, since it feels like more of a waste of time ("I could be studying Japanese right now!").

Why not improve your local community instead of learning a foreign language?

Re: I'm an addict

#549
post #548
post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I started learning Japanese about two years ago now and now all of the time I used to waste watching YouTube is spent watching YouTube in Japanese as language practice. It's still the same activity but is at least somewhat productive. I barely go on Hacker News too, since it feels like more of a waste of time ("I could be studying Japanese right now!").

Why not improve your local community instead of learning a foreign language?

My local community has plenty of foreign language speakers from migrant communities (myself included).

Re: I'm an addict

#550
post #169

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Which morality is that? Individuals love to look at individual bits of morality in said books in a choose your own adventure exploration. As much as the moral certainty says be nice to others, it will also contain many bits that are highly questionable and would deeply conflict with others views. In general secular psychologists don't come with the violent historical baggage that religions do.

>Which morality is that? Who cares? It gets drug addicts clean and criminals reformed.

And turns them in to extremists that attack and kill others? It turns out there are many cares in which system of morality one chooses.
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