Earlier quoted context omitted.
No, no it isn't.
[flagged]
Hmmmm, I wonder why black people are arrested more.
How to talk to anyone and why you should
521–530 of 584 posts
Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should
#522Earlier quoted context omitted.
Talking to strangers is actually kind of nice as an introvert, there is very low pressure as you have no obligation to the person and you can end the conversation at any time. I find it much nicer than talking to friends of friends or the absolute worst for me... the boyfriends of my girlfriends friends. You are getting shoved together into a forced interaction that you know will be asked about in the near future.
This is why I love IT conferences. I can chat up random strangers about topics that we're clearly both interested in. The vendors also send the most extroverted folks who are skilled in engaging introverted nerds. It's a great way for introverts to level up their social skills. And the best part is that I never talk to those folks again ;) I found out that I actually really like making fast friends, I just hate the o…
I end up with a lot of business cards and LinkedIn connections that usually never go anywhere. Which is fine with me!
But I got some good consulting gigs from the ones that did go somewhere.
Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should
#523I don't talk to everyone, on the other side I talk to almost nobody. But I am ready to speak with anyone if they reach me. I have so much experience/knowledge (professional, social, philosophical) that I can support discussions about anything under any occasion. But outside my family and non-sense chat with 3-4 friends I see hardly any interest. Being in this forum provides all new social contact and it's enough for now.
Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should
#524Earlier quoted context omitted.
I am still at the awkward early interaction stage. How do you know what to say?, usually I can start the conversation but I don’t know where to take it after. How are you able to shift to the next stage when you have both agreed that the weather today is nice. How do you get over the feeling that you are wasting their time? Finally, how do you end the conversation when you're still going in the same direction or wait…
You've created problems that don't exist. They're concerns that most people don't have. You don't know what to say. That's fine. You might be wasting their time. That's fine. You might not know how to end the conversation. That's fine. It's ok to be awkward. It's ok to be honest. It's ok to bother people as long as you take their feedback appropriately. It's ok to walk away without saying anything. The more often tha…
"You don't know what to say. That's fine."
Well if I don't know what to say, I either don't start a conversation or I can use some opener like "How are you?" and then end the conversation (because I don't know what to say). But then what is the point?
Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should
#525After a bad breakup in 2015, I followed some advice from the socialskills subreddit to “talk to everyone” so that you get better at talking to women you might want to date. The advice was not to only talk to attractive people but everyone. The old man reading a Russian newspaper, the kid on bike doing tricks, people in the elevator. I do that now and it brings me a lot of joy. Recently while leaving a botanical garde…
> I highly recommend talking to strangers! People are lovely. Go out and try it. Which country are you in? I'm from a latin country and the norm is that you end up chatting about life the universe and everything with any random people you share a space with for more than one minute. But in the USA that doesn't really fly. Talking is transactional, either a business deal is going on or shut up. I've been in the USA fo…
I’m in the US in the Bay Area. Talking to strangers is not the norm but plenty of people are responsive and happy to talk if you engage them. Break the norms and see how it goes!
Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should
#526Earlier quoted context omitted.
Yes, because it's important. And also figure out why you don't enjoy it, and whether that's a self-reinforcing thing. At the very least you can make it something neutral instead of something you actively dislike and avoid.
But why? If I don't enjoy talking to anyone and everyone, why should I be doing it? What's wrong with focusing on people who matter to me? It's not like I don't give people a chance, but I'm pretty quick in identifying and cutting off people who are draining my energy, even if they are otherwise quite nice and enjoyable company for others.
Then there isn't really anything to argue over. No one should have to convince you. Either you see its value or you don't.
Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should
#527Earlier quoted context omitted.
I used to do this constantly but eventually I found it tedious. The conversation almost always went smoothly and I got the sense my interlocutor was pleasantly surprised to be engaged and had a great time chatting. But for me it became a chore, rather than a joy. It was “work” like guiding/teaching somebody. The juice was rarely worth the squeeze.
Did people only talk about themselves? It is probably a rare trait when someone legitimately cares about other peoples inane daily lives. It would be interesting to actually talk to hundreds of people a week for years, you would probably get really good at categorizing people and predicting where they are in life and what their current concerns are.
> Did people only talk about themselves? It is probably a rare trait when someone legitimately cares about other peoples inane daily lives.
I love this honestly. I talked to people that insurance that talks about their customer, retired prostitute that have reached financial freedom, NEETs, right wingers, and many other curious people. The reality is that most people are sane, and with a little bit of compassion and empathy, it is possible to "see how they get there".
I suppose these extremes are only available online because people won't open these up in physical meetings.
Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should
#528Earlier quoted context omitted.
That or someone running some sort of scam or asking for money. All on the same continuum I guess. I'm always on my guard when a talkative stranger approaches me. Which is sad in a way, but experience proves it's necessary.
I'm in my 42nd year of life and I've never been small talked into giving someone money. I have been accosted by pan handlers who are directly asking for money. But never under the guise of a conversation. Ok, I take it back, once in 2011.
Depends on the MLM penetration in your community, some (Amway being a big one) recruits strangers in public.
Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should
#529Earlier quoted context omitted.
You've created problems that don't exist. They're concerns that most people don't have. You don't know what to say. That's fine. You might be wasting their time. That's fine. You might not know how to end the conversation. That's fine. It's ok to be awkward. It's ok to be honest. It's ok to bother people as long as you take their feedback appropriately. It's ok to walk away without saying anything. The more often tha…
"You don't know what to say. That's fine." Well if I don't know what to say, I either don't start a conversation or I can use some opener like "How are you?" and then end the conversation (because I don't know what to say). But then what is the point?
That's fine.
:)
Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should
#530Earlier quoted context omitted.
random people wont really talk to you because they have no way to evaluate who you are. it is nothing about you, but a reflection on society. the stranger is now a danger to women. this is what they taught in school too, and internet show them that all stranger use aggressive mean pick up artist tactics~ before 1990s there was very little international travel, small town everyone know each other, speak english. very…
I've joined local groups for anime and videogames, but they are mostly anime. Videogames and programming seems to be almost exclusively masculine (the stereotypes are there for a reason) but the few girls there doesn't seem much different. Maybe I've had bad luck, maybe I need to search more, but still...the situation seems to be similar everywhere.
try group that are tied to your geography rather than international subculture
eg videogaming subculture was good during 00s LAN era because it was local. you would be seeing people from your town and surrounds. now gaming is just online random anons
pottery classes, painting, hiking trails, wine bars, farmers markets .