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Why aren't smart people happier?

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Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#521

Post by TomMasz »

Ardon wrote: post #53

Might be useful to ask a different question: What makes people happy? It's things like relationships, satisfying work, accomplishment. (and many, many more) Then the real question emerges: How many of those happiness 'sources' are made better by intelligence? What percentage? Relationships? Seems like no. Work? Also seems like no, lots of work doesn't make use of a high IQ that people enjoy nonetheless. Accomplishmen…

I think you've hit on something important with work and accomplishment. I've heard software developers say over and over again they don't feel like they've actually accomplished anything when they complete some coding task. It's not just bug fixes, but tasks in general. Some of them take up hobbies like woodworking, where the results of your work are something tangible you can see and touch. But it's not just software development, a lot of jobs involve work that seemingly produces nothing despite the time and effort spent. It's not hard to see why so many people find their work miserable.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#522

Post by throw7 »

Happiness is relational. The meta-study (i only read the small abstract) concludes that being around happy people correlates to your happiness. Anecdotally, really "smart" people can be about the least fun people to be around.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#523

Post by _-_-__-_-_- »

I’m not intelligent. I’m average. But, I’m considered successful and live comfortably for a North American. I have a few university degrees, with secure long term work in my field, an affordable home, a dependable car and all the trappings of middle class life.

Am I happy? I spent my young adult years hoping that happiness would arrive after finishing university, buying a new car, supporting myself financially, starting a career, getting married… it’s less of a “moving goal-post problem” and more a existential “what’s the larger point to life” and “what impact do I actually want to make”.

Having happiness as this ever elusive goal was more an errant wish than something measurably achievable.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#524

Post by neuralkoi »

soared wrote: post #511
PaulRobinson wrote: post #460

My Dad once told me being smart was a curse. When he was stationed abroad with a load of meatheads, they would be happy spending their down time drinking beer and getting a tan. He would miss libraries of home. When people around him didn't care about the problems of the World, he saw the intractable nuance of the World's problems and felt a deep helplessness. Some of this was clearly depression, but I have to admit,…

A further level of intelligence may recognize the futility in worrying, accept the situation and your inability to impact it, and purposefully take the approach of a meathead. A man’s search for meaning is an incredible book you may enjoy based on your comment. My strongest takeaway was that in situations where I cannot make an impact or control something, I still control how I react.

I think Michael Jackson put it well: "If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and make a change".

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#525

Post by wouldbecouldbe »

1dom wrote: post #500
wouldbecouldbe wrote: post #427

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The main thing is to start understanding your own neurotic patterns. We constantly move between wanting and avoiding things, from small attachments to our thoughts and habits, to strong dislikes. The more you understand this pattern, the more you can let go, and the less your daily feelings will disturb you. As that happens, a natural joy will start to appear. The truth is, 90% of what triggers your emotions today wi…

This was a helpful reminder of a particular world view, thank you. I think some intelligent people are intelligent because of a need for stimulation: they need more new information, so they learn lots and keep learning and the world throws more learnings at them because they get good at it. Intelligence becomes an emergent property of dealing/distracting from that craving for more information - a beneficial addiction…

Yeah intelligent people are good problem solvers & they naturally assume you can solve your way to happiness by a thought, plan, new goal, idea etc. Where it's mostly about letting go & living.

We often also get attached to ways of operating that brought success in certain fields of life. Often subtly tying their self-worth & safety to this identity. This is hardest to see often, these subtle identities we create to navigate life. They help in certain ways, but then also limit us in others. If we become more aware of these patterns, we can keep them when useful, and take them less serious when they are limiting.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#527

Post by torginus »

I think the answer to this question is that the most consistent way to make people happy is to have them partake in social group activities - going out drinking, playing/watching team sports etc, watching movies - there's something hardwired into people's consciousness that when in groups, people tend to forget their own troubles and kind of adopt a common jolly mood,

In contrast, almost all 'smart people' activities are solo activities or stuff with infrequent socialization - reading/writing, programming, playing/practicing instruments etc.

Many of these activities are quite challenning as opposed to the former ones, so more likely to bring negative emotions to the forefront.

'Smart' people also tend to have elevated expectations of themselves, and they expect to either do better in general, or succeed in some niche that most people don't really concern themselves with - that leads to perpetual feelings of inadequacy.

I'm not saying smart people are required to engage in these activities, I'm saying people should be more amenable to socializing and just chilling out together.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#528

Post by uvaursi »

_-_-__-_-_- wrote: post #523

I’m not intelligent. I’m average. But, I’m considered successful and live comfortably for a North American. I have a few university degrees, with secure long term work in my field, an affordable home, a dependable car and all the trappings of middle class life. Am I happy? I spent my young adult years hoping that happiness would arrive after finishing university, buying a new car, supporting myself financially, start…

This is why people get divorced. It’s not because their partners are terrible (they can be), but because they are on train tracks of a life that isn’t theirs.

Fight Club had the answer to this, by taking a no-name Joe Schmoe (reflected as us), and putting a gun to his head: The Question, Raymond, is what did you want to be?

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#529

Post by hufdr »

I don’t think being smart necessarily makes people unhappy. What’s tiring is seeing everything too clearly. When you understand too much, it becomes harder to care, to connect, or to feel joy and sometimes that clarity just feels lonely. Maybe happiness really needs a little bit of ignorance.
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