Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

cbc.ca

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

521–530 of 1001 posts

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#521

Post by refurb »

hmcq6 wrote: post #343
kenjackson wrote: post #277

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> 49% of people aged 30-34 aren't homeowners, 49% of us are homeowners or renters. Wait, this is saying less than 50% of people aged 30-34 live in a home that is owned or rented by them (or their spouse)? I can't imagine a region where this is close to true, since probably near 100% where I live either own or rent. Is there a regional breakdown for this? And where do these people live? With their parents or in a shel…

If two or more people rent the same "household" (house, apartment, couple of rooms) they are only counted a single time. 1 homeowner and 1 renter = 50% 1 homeowner and 2 renters in the same apartment = 50% 1 homeowner and 200,000 renters in the same apartment = 50% 1 homeowner and 2 renters in 2 different apartments = 33% It's a ratio of homeowners to the number of buildings the rest of us rent out.

It's just the number of housing units owned versus rented. The occupancy is ignored in both ownership [even if joinly owned] and rental.

As per the definition: "The householder refers to the person (or one of the persons) in whose name the housing unit is owned or rented"

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#522

Post by silentdanni »

jimbob45 wrote: post #360
sneed_chucker wrote: post #157

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The societal norms and structures that promoted natalism are gone in western countries for much of the population. Raising kids is hard work. Ideally you have them young and live close to your family so that you have grandparents to help with childcare. But our society tells people to wait as long as possible to have kids, and to prioritize career over other things - so once people do have kids, if they ever do so, t…

Raising kids is hard work. I would bet this plays a large part - people today respect the difficulty in a way past parents previously did not. Birth rates are certainly declining but I would bet the rates of accidental infant/toddler death are down as well. That said, I personally know parents that are just taunting SIDS with the way they ignore infant sleeping best practices even though they’ve read the books to kno…

The inherent difficulty in raising kids plays a significant role in my decision. Additionally, I feel we are no longer glamorising parenthood as we once did. I remember when I was a kid, before the internet was a thing, it was pretty standard to see ads that claimed parenthood was an experience filled with joy and no challenges. For the past decade or so, though, I feel that parents are much more honest when discussing parenthood's challenges. We heard about post-labour depression, financial struggles, sleepless nights, end of careers and so on. It's a radical life change, and most of us do not want to commit.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#523

Post by ardaoweo »

dorwi wrote: post #462
pzo wrote: post #452

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm just always wondering why the ratio is not more close 50% / 50% between males and woman? On birth male/female ratio is pretty much 50/50. So at any stage (except older >70 because woman usually lives longer) ratio should be similar. LGBT are just 10% of population and distribution between gays/lesbians seems also 50/50. Based on that if there is a single male there is another single female somewhere. The only rea…

There could be various other reasons as well. For instance, males tend to be older in a family than females, so the 35-year cut-off may be too early to consider. Additionally, there is the desirability factor, where the most successful or desirable males may have multiple 'families,' or at least children from multiple women

Yes, here married men are about 3.5 years older on average than their wives, and average age of mothers has been rising. So, a significant percentage of those men will become fathers after 35, reducing the gap between genders. I think you're right about the second point as well. 87% of single parents in Finland are women, and it's probably easier for the men to remarry and have more children at that point.

Nevertheless, it's also notable that the majority of long-term unemployed are men by a significant margin. Average educational outcomes of women are better than for men these days. There's a much higher incidence of young men than young women dropping out of education and work. These men are statistically much less likely to have children than others.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#524

Post by refurb »

voidfunc wrote: post #195
lolinder wrote: post #140

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is unnecessarily confrontational and inaccurate. According to census.gov, the current national homeownership rate is hovering at about 66%, which is about the same rate that it's been (+/- 3%) since they started tracking in 1964 [0][1]. This isn't restricted to old people either: 49% of 30 to 34 year olds and 58% of 35 to 39 year olds owned a home in Q4 2023 [2]. There are certainly regional differences in housi…

HN has a blindness for the vast land area of America that isn't The Bay Area, NYC, Seattle, Boston, and a handful of other insanely expensive locations. Home ownership has probably plummeted in those markets (I don't have the data) but it leads to certain types of comments being passed around as fact. The narrative on Twitter/TikTok that every Millenial and GenZ is starving to death and on the brink of being homeless…

Pretty much. I used to live in a mid-sized mid-West city in the US and still keep in touch. Most everyone I know bought a house, even with the modest wages they had. Why? Because there are plenty of homes in the $100-$200k range, even now.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#525

Post by wtcactus »

ardaoweo wrote: post #334

Here in Finland apparently 50% of 35yo males, and 35% of 35yo females have no children. Fertility rate in 2023 was 1.26. In comparison, 2015 saw fertility rate of 1.65, and it has been below replacement level since 1969. 61% of under 40yo people live in rental apartments, this share having risen about 10% from 2010. Also, apartments built today are about 9 square meters smaller on average compares to 10 years ago. I…

One of my grandmothers, raised 3 children in a 1 bedroom house, alone (my grandfather died right after the youngest one was born).

I see people now-a-days complaining that they don't have money, or space, or time and I just scoff at them. We aren't having children because society stopped seeing laziness as a negative trait. Everyone around us keeps telling us "you need to take time to focus on yourself": which usually translates to spending the day browsing through Netflix and ordering food because you can't even be bothered to cook.

This is making for very unhappy, empty lives.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#526

Post by GaryNumanVevo »

djha-skin wrote: post #61

My father had 10 siblings and my mother had seven. I had seven siblings myself with over 30 cousins on both sides of my family. I have four children and my and most of my siblings each have six children or so. My mother has about 24 grandkids at the last count Maybe. Further, I live on the same street as two of my sisters and I have another sister that lives down the street, with my brother living 3 mi away. Only two…

OP is definitely Mormon. Many, many friends of mine come from Mormon families (for better or for worse)

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#527

Post by benja123 »

bongodongobob wrote: post #75

You're baffled people aren't having kids? What bubble do you live in? People straight up can't afford housing much less children. The avg American is completely priced out of owning a home right now. Edit: the replies - y'all are out of touch. Visit an average family in the Midwest with a household income of < $100k/yr that doesn't own a home yet.

You realize the wealthier a society, the fewer kids?

It’s 100% a cultural norm issue. I was raised in Canada but have lived in Israel for the past 20 years. The vast majority of my Canadian friends have no kids, and the ones that do have at most 2. In Israel, all of my friends (secular/non-religious) have kids, usually 3 or more. The idea of whether you can or can’t afford a kid does not cross people’s minds. You get married, and you have a kid. If you don’t get married, and you can, you still have a kid. It’s just what’s expected. I have numerous friends who are single and made the choice to have multiple kids via donors. When it is the norm in society, it’s just something you do. I am sure social pressure has an effect. You see your friends having kids, then you want to have kids too, and then your kids become friends with your friends’ kids, and it expands from there.

Financially, life in Canada is much easier as a parent when compared to here, but socially, life in Canada as a parent is much harder when I compare it to here.

I have 3 kids - for me personally it was the best choice I have ever made, but I accept that I no longer have my own life. I live for my kids and I wouldn’t change it for the world. It probably helps that most of my friends are in the same situation.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#528

Post by QuadmasterXLII »

bongodongobob wrote: post #75

You're baffled people aren't having kids? What bubble do you live in? People straight up can't afford housing much less children. The avg American is completely priced out of owning a home right now. Edit: the replies - y'all are out of touch. Visit an average family in the Midwest with a household income of < $100k/yr that doesn't own a home yet.

Unless he is gods gift to salary negotiation, if he can afford kids probably one of the 23 coworkers he has had could afford kids

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#529

Post by Aeolun »

locusofself wrote: post #240
Aeolun wrote: post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I dunno, I grew up in a family of 5 kids, and it just never really occurred to me to not have them. I think my greatest regret in life is going to be having only one :/ However, I have no issues with people that don’t want them. To each their own.

interesting .. I'm the oldest of 5 myself and have just one daughter, but I can't really imagine having or wanting more.

Honestly, it’s a relief when there’s other kids to play with him. I love having 3 kids in the house at the same time and to just guide them in their play, instead of having to _be_ the playmate. I’m pretty young, but I do not have the kind of imagination required to keep that up for a day :P

If he’s been outside running around the street with his friends all day it hasn’t cost me anything and the evenings are so much easier/relaxed.

I remember that being the same for me, except that I always had people to play with around, because they were living in the same house.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#530

Post by elliotec »

npteljes wrote: post #466
xyzelement wrote: post #141

I was lucky that my wife convinced me to move close to her family (it would have never occurred to me.) Now we live just a few doors down from her brother who's got 4 kids, and we have 2. Watching the cousins intermingle is an amazing and unique experience. It's kinda sad but it's also obvious that people are majorly missing out. On having kids, on living close to family, on all of it. Ironically, this is evolution i…

>The "it's too hard to have kids" crew is selecting against themselves, evolutionary speaking. That won't last. That's not how it work. Evolution only selects for hereditary, biological factors, and even then, it's not a guarantee. "Stupid people" won't "die out" for the same reason.

Hereditary, biological factors only get selected via reproduction, so of course that’s how it works. “Stupid people” won’t “die out” as long as “they” keep having kids. Simple as that.
Post reply on HN