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Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

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Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#521

Post by ra7 »

nkrisc wrote: post #413
prometheus76 wrote: post #392

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This concept led to me almost losing my marriage, and what saved it. I had been interpreting all of my wife's actions according to why I would be acting that way, instead of trying to understand how she is justifying her actions. Once I started asking more questions about her mindset, and really listening to her when she answered, the whole direction of my marriage changed for the better.

Great point, I'm certainly not perfect. I sometimes find myself thinking, "why would you do that!?" and that's when I realize that what that really means is I'm the one who's not understanding something. I should be asking myself, "why would they do that?" In my marriage and in life in general.

> I sometimes find myself thinking, "why would you do that!?" and that's when I realize that what that really means is I'm the one who's not understanding something. I should be asking myself, "why would they do that?"

Thank you! This is a great distinction. I learnt something really helpful today.

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#523

Post by egypturnash »

have_faith wrote: post #254
muzani wrote: post #243

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Redpill was a community of 'involuntary celibates', who were bad with women, and reacted to it with women hate, claiming that they were woke and saw women as manipulative. It took off, had a strong number of supporters. Blackpill is a derogatory term for a similar pattern - people who are bad at something and respond by being 'woke' and dismissive. I suppose the classic English term is "sour grapes".

Redpill is a much older concept than recent incel usage. It has been around online as idea of revealing the true nature of something for a long time.

Before "incels" it was mostly a term used by angry 4channers and MRAs, which is pretty much the same demographic as the average incel.

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#524

Post by mnemonicsloth »

muzani wrote: post #114

Everything is a system. The economy, society, relationships, nature, traffic. You don't need math to reverse engineer a system. You just need to pay attention to it. You can say the right words to make a date happy. You can figure out which lane is the fastest route, better than Google Maps can. You don't need an app or data - your brain is a wonderful data processing machine. Don't be angry at the people who are ben…

> Everything is a system...

The problem is that this sometimes isn't good enough. A cell is certainly a system, but cells are far too complex to model with current techniques. The usual next step, breaking the cell down into a group of smaller systems, doesn't work either. No such decomposition exists. In cells, everything interacts promiscuously with everything else.

And it should go without saying that cells are important. If we could debug cells like we debug software we'd all be immortal right now.

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#525

Post by starpilot »

TallGuyShort wrote: post #428
celticmusic wrote: post #411

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Everything is a system. The economy, society, relationships, nature, traffic. This very much screams "when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail" to me.

It's a bit like saying everything can be modeled. What do economists, biologists, and traffic engineers increasingly use to do their work? Models. An awful lot of things are actually nail-like for this particular hammer. Applying it to relationships and society feels like a slippery slope. People are still people. But there's definitely cases where the analogy is useful, and maybe even spot-on.

If you take it further, it means that everything is deterministic and there is no free will. I'm not surprised this sentiment is popular on HN.

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#526

Post by sli »

AnIdiotOnTheNet wrote: post #369
knightofmars wrote: post #350

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> ...how little facts weight in when compared to a manager's gut feeling. Yes. https://ideas.ted.com/why-do-so-many-incompetent-men-become-...

Why single out managers? This is a quality of pretty much all people including arrogant tech workers who think they are better than everyone else.

Because rank and file employees don't get to effect change on an entire department or company at a whim the way managers often can.

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#527

Post by sangnoir »

AnIdiotOnTheNet wrote: post #369
knightofmars wrote: post #350

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> ...how little facts weight in when compared to a manager's gut feeling. Yes. https://ideas.ted.com/why-do-so-many-incompetent-men-become-...

Why single out managers? This is a quality of pretty much all people including arrogant tech workers who think they are better than everyone else.

I was surprised by the number of times I've seen the most-voted comment on HN was outright wrong, or so off the mark it was not even wrong (in subjects at the periphery of tech where I have personal experience). I think managers & tech workers figure "Since I'm really good at X & Y, I must be good (in general). I have figured out how the world works (or can figure it out, after giving it a few minutes thought)". It's hubris.

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#528

Post by teacpde »

apacheCamel wrote: post #415
loh wrote: post #317

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Life is definitely fleeting, but we (or most of us) have to work in order to live. The key is finding work to do which doesn't feel like work, but the difficult part to this (for many people but not all) is making enough of an income to live comfortably. In this case, I would say it is perfectly okay and probably a good thing if your identity and your work are one. It is crazy to me to think that so many people spend…

>It isn't something you should do just to do it or because you feel like you have to. It's a path that people should choose carefully. In many ways (mostly money), people don't have the luxury of choosing a career path that is aligned with the things they love to do.

Generally agreed, but also depends on how hard we want align our jobs with what we want to do. And a lot of times it is just laziness.

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#529

Post by slumdev »

ahuth wrote: post #513
slumdev wrote: post #396

Some number of years of experience is not and never will be equivalent to a CS bachelor's. I'm done explaining why an undocumented O(n^2) solution that violates most of the SOLID principles is a Bad Thing.

Is a CS bachelor’s necessary to understand that? Does a CS bachelor’s guarantee that this is understood?

This is a silly, silly attempt to knock down a point that should be self-evident. Success in life isn't a formal proof.

Exercising every day, keeping your weight down, eating a Mediterranean diet, not smoking, having healthy relationships, and sleeping eight hours a night do not guarantee that you'll live to reach retirement age.

However, they drastically increase your odds.

Re: Ask HN: What has your work taught you that other people don't realize?

#530

Post by AnimalMuppet »

thdrdt wrote: post #131

When you are an employee at a job you don't like, but you keep staying because you think you are irreplacable, you worry about your colleagues, or for whatever reason: just leave. The only reason you stay is a feeling of responsibility. But you are not responsible for the company or it's employees. You are responsible for your own life and your family.

If you're in that position, it's a management failure. It's their fault, not yours.
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