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Why aren't smart people happier?

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Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#511

Post by necovek »

matheusmoreira wrote: post #424
landryraccoon wrote: post #417

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don’t see what the problem is. If you have helped someone a lot, and then call in a favor and the ghost you, you didn’t lose a friend. You lost a parasite. It’s like when you lend money to someone and they avoid you to never pay you back. Depending on the amount that can be money well spent.

> I don’t see what the problem is. The problem is the transaction is unbalanced. They got help when they needed and refused to help when called upon. Someone took more than they gave and there's no real way to address the issue so the only sensible thing to do is to avoid putting oneself in such a position in the first place.

It's not a "transaction", it's a relationship: they are never perfectly balanced.

It's also hard to measure one's contribution in a relationship (hey, maybe they were a really good listener; or maybe they can't find time to help you move, but when your kids get sick, they'll move the world to get the best possible care for them?), so let's not go and introduce quick-and-simple rules for what definitely are relations on a case-by-case basis.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#512

Post by matheusmoreira »

necovek wrote: post #511
matheusmoreira wrote: post #424

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I don’t see what the problem is. The problem is the transaction is unbalanced. They got help when they needed and refused to help when called upon. Someone took more than they gave and there's no real way to address the issue so the only sensible thing to do is to avoid putting oneself in such a position in the first place.

It's not a "transaction", it's a relationship: they are never perfectly balanced. It's also hard to measure one's contribution in a relationship (hey, maybe they were a really good listener; or maybe they can't find time to help you move, but when your kids get sick, they'll move the world to get the best possible care for them?), so let's not go and introduce quick-and-simple rules for what definitely are relations…

Yes, it is hard. It's okay if it's a little unbalanced. Thing is a lot of altruistic people end up getting stuck in a pattern they're there for everyone but nobody is there for them. That seriously hurts.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#513

Post by matheusmoreira »

landryraccoon wrote: post #503
matheusmoreira wrote: post #424

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I don’t see what the problem is. The problem is the transaction is unbalanced. They got help when they needed and refused to help when called upon. Someone took more than they gave and there's no real way to address the issue so the only sensible thing to do is to avoid putting oneself in such a position in the first place.

Yeah, I agree. It's a problem with the world. But it's not generally a problem you can solve. The problem that you solve is information. You don't know who's trustworthy and who isn't. If I can give a small amount of help to someone in exchange for knowing if they are trustworthy or not, that's probably worth it. The people that reciprocate you can keep in your life and they become valuable friends. I am more than ha…

> If I can give a small amount of help to someone in exchange for knowing if they are trustworthy or not, that's probably worth it.

That's a life skill I had to learn. I was raised believing that if I was a good altruistic person all that goodness would come back to me. Well, way too many times it didn't and it was extremely frustrating until I figured out how to deal with it.

Sometimes it's okay to be selfish. It stops people from taking advantage.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#514

Post by davidguetta »

necovek wrote: post #505
davidguetta wrote: post #486

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I mean I understand and welcome you enthusiasm about science and research papers, unfortunately it's largely misguided in my opinion. Even in actual scientific fields like computer science (In particular machine learning and reinforcement learning academic environement in which I work and hold a PhD) 'doubting' is necessary, since a large percentage of papers are unreproducible and largely biaised for publication...…

I am fine with doubting any particular study, and I certainly have my reservations about social science studies in particular (most of them try to categorise "poorly-defined problems"). But we can either doubt the entire scientific process and throw our hands in the air, or we can work to improve it and look at it critically. At the moment, it's the best thing we've got. Thus, I dislike the generic "I don't believe r…

> in all your anecdotal examples, you are misinterpreting what "correlates" means. In particular, all intelligences correlating does NOT mean that "some will have all"

No, i'm saying exceptional intelligence in a field didn't lead to a discernable increase of intelligence in other aspect of life in general, which would actually be the definition of "correlate", in a large sample of people and fields I have seen.

Now you may disagree, or make another generic authority argument which invoke 'scientific studies' that I have yet to see the existence, but respectfully, I'm not here to debate and I'm also quite sure my point of view will not change by reading such 'study'. I was just here sharing my point of view of someone who have seem various exceptional people in various fields and expressing my doubts the whole "intelligence correlate" thing..

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#515

Post by arbitrary_name »

whatsreal wrote: post #285
Jensson wrote: post #151

Earlier quoted context omitted.

To me it is mostly that life is boring. At some point you have seen everything interesting and anything you see hence are just fitting into the same basic patterns. Discussions, tv shows, books etc. Living is still better than not living, but every time you experience something new the things left to experience becomes smaller. A few romance movies and you have seen all of them, a few action movies etc, or even psych…

As another commentator pointed out you seem entirely focused on consuming. Yes, I can see where this gets boring. I am less apt to visit Reddit because I've seen the same posts dozens of times. I am not apt to watch many movies or shows for the same reason. But life boring because consumption becomes boring? Nothing could be further from my experience! Instead of a focus on consumption, or even a focus on creation, I…

You sound like a fun person to go fishing with :) at least one of us has figured out how to live!
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