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Why aren't smart people happier?

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Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#501

Post by HKH2 »

dyauspitr wrote: post #395
x86x87 wrote: post #367

Pleasure and happiness aren't the same thing, but most people chase pleasure while calling it happiness. Pleasure is the quick hit—good food, sex, scrolling your phone—it feels great but fades fast. Happiness is something else entirely, and what it means changes drastically depending on how smart you are. Less intelligent people tend to equate happiness with basic pleasures and getting their needs met. Average intell…

Pleasure is happiness. If you could afford it you can have great food, unlimited sex, free time to pursue passions and interests and most importantly endless, unrestricted power over people all the time. The above, combined with no stressors will pretty much guarantee life long happiness. The only caveats are drugs (generally destructive) and clinical depression caused by hormonal imbalances.

Pleasure is immediate, whereas happiness (or joy) reflects something more long-lasting and is often ineffable.

You can get used to pleasure because you can predict it and control it. Joy and wisdom are not gained so easily, and it's that challenge that creates meaning.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#502

Post by Astro-Domine »

Bjartr wrote: post #499
Astro-Domine wrote: post #493

I know a couple of intimidatingly intelligent people who are burdened with serious depression. The one who talks about it thinks it’s because of their intellect, that they can see more than most people; that they have some special insight. I’ve asked them to explain this special insight that other people “don’t get” and my thoughts on it are: It’s not the insight that causes the problem. It’s accepting what they see.…

Or, to put it another way Have the grace to accept things I cannot change, the power to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. An intelligent person usually knows a lot about a lot. The more things you know about, the more chances you have to make a mistake and think changing something is in your court, when it's really not.

I agree with that.

Another type of problem with this particular person was the insight that there is no meaning to be discovered, distilled or coaxed out of analysis.

That we must create meaning is an example of something which is entirely in their court but which they somehow can’t accept and proceed with.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#503

Post by kaicianflone »

int_19h wrote: post #434
kaicianflone wrote: post #174

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sure - How clever of you. It’s also the world’s largest religion by far. That alone says something about how deeply the message of Jesus resonates across cultures and centuries. Billions of people have found truth, hope, and transformation in Him. Not because they were born into it, but because the story holds up when you actually look into it.

You do realize that most countries that are Christian today have been made so by force sometime in the past, not because the locals were so happy about it? Where I'm from, they're still celebrating the "national baptism" event where the ruler basically forced the entire (allegedly) population of his capital into the river for mass baptism by Greek priests invited for the occasion.

You’re absolutely right that many nations were converted by force or politics. History is full of that tension. The message of Christ abused in ways completely opposite to what He taught in the Scripture.

What’s always struck me, though, is how the faith survived despite those abuses. Every empire that tried to use Christianity as a weapon eventually crumbled, but the core message kept resurfacing through people who lived it voluntarily. Saints, reformers, monks, ordinary believers who loved instead of coerced.

Christianity spreads most truthfully through witness, not power. The fact that so many who first met it under pressure later kept it freely says something deeper is at work than politics or force.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#504

Post by HKH2 »

eptcyka wrote: post #410

I think a common misconception is that smart people are not happy. I think a lot of people who'd like to think of themselves as smart end up chasing this identity instead of being happy. This doesn't seem to be all to smart to me.

Yes, having a high IQ won't necessarily make you wise.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#505

Post by kaicianflone »

int_19h wrote: post #436
kaicianflone wrote: post #60

This answer might upset some people, but it’s really about balance. Spiritual healing is something many intelligent people quietly need. Too often, “intellectuals” dismiss the Bible outright. Relying on arguments they half-remember from TikTok or high-school debates instead of actually reading it and forming their own conclusion, like they would with any other subject. I’m just a developer, but I think intelligence c…

You know, I am jealous of religious people sometimes precisely because they can believe in things that give them something to pin their hopes on in situation where there really isn't any hope, and even more so, to give them some higher meaning in life that is universally applicable. But it's not about pride. This trick only works if you deliberately exclude at least some premises from rational scrutiny, which is basi…

I actually appreciate how clearly you put that. The honesty in what you said is exactly where most people’s quiet struggle lives. You’re right that faith doesn’t begin with airtight logic. It begins when reason finally runs out of things that can satisfy the soul.

The point of Christianity isn’t to switch off rational scrutiny. It’s to realize that reason itself points beyond its own edges. The disciples didn’t follow Jesus because they stopped thinking. They followed because they met a Person who made sense of what their thinking never could.

As for “why this faith and not another,” for me it wasn’t about comparing systems. It was that every story in Scripture, from Genesis to the cross, keeps tracing one pattern: God coming toward humanity, not demanding that we climb up to Him. Every other belief I studied started with what we must do. This one begins with what He already did.

I don’t expect that to “prove” anything to you, but maybe it’s something to sit with and find Faith in. The story of Jesus resonates with billions of followers, more than other religions, not because it’s the best or default religion.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#506

Post by Retric »

apsurd wrote: post #236
jebarker wrote: post #212

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For me this has 100% been the main source of unhappiness in my life. I wish nobody had ever told me how smart I was as a child. The reality was that I was above average but in an unremarkable collection of kids mostly. I’ve done fine in life academically and career wise but I’ll never live up to the expectations that were planted in my head. Thankfully you can get over this/yourself and let go of ego, ambition, achie…

What's interesting to me is how all of it is true. You were and are in an elite tier, the measure is purely how we care to slice it. Reminds me of the aphorism "whether you think you can or can't, you're right." I find this saying really insightful and true. Others may find it flippant and void of any meaning. The sports analogy of what you shared is: "there are levels to this". At any given level-child, minor, high-…

A great number of people believe they can when they can’t, the reverse is less frequent. Which is likely the outgrowth of saying to anyone “you can do it” being much easier and safer than a more realistic assessment.

Instead I like to say “that will be a lot of work” which is generally true, can help someone succeed by focusing on something productive, and even failure at the given goal often results in something positive. Hard work simply pays better dividends than dreaming about what comes after success.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#507

Post by padjo »

Bjartr wrote: post #499
Astro-Domine wrote: post #493

I know a couple of intimidatingly intelligent people who are burdened with serious depression. The one who talks about it thinks it’s because of their intellect, that they can see more than most people; that they have some special insight. I’ve asked them to explain this special insight that other people “don’t get” and my thoughts on it are: It’s not the insight that causes the problem. It’s accepting what they see.…

Or, to put it another way Have the grace to accept things I cannot change, the power to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. An intelligent person usually knows a lot about a lot. The more things you know about, the more chances you have to make a mistake and think changing something is in your court, when it's really not.

You can know something is not within your power to change and still find the fact of its existence deeply upsetting.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#508

Post by foobarian »

somenameforme wrote: post #369
Ardon wrote: post #53

Might be useful to ask a different question: What makes people happy? It's things like relationships, satisfying work, accomplishment. (and many, many more) Then the real question emerges: How many of those happiness 'sources' are made better by intelligence? What percentage? Relationships? Seems like no. Work? Also seems like no, lots of work doesn't make use of a high IQ that people enjoy nonetheless. Accomplishmen…

I'd take a different answer to this question: philosophy. In times before Abrahamic religion developing or adopting a life philosophy was seen as a practical obligation for a man. This is where you saw the rise of everything from the Pythagorean to the Stoics. It seems that the rise of Abrahamic religions is what largely brought an end to this and mandated a sort of one-size-fits-all philosophy for everybody. Now in…

> collapse of fertility in developed nations

My pet theory is that once societies stop enslaving women, enough choose not to bear children to skew the stats below replacement level.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#509

Post by rkomorn »

foobarian wrote: post #508
somenameforme wrote: post #369

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd take a different answer to this question: philosophy. In times before Abrahamic religion developing or adopting a life philosophy was seen as a practical obligation for a man. This is where you saw the rise of everything from the Pythagorean to the Stoics. It seems that the rise of Abrahamic religions is what largely brought an end to this and mandated a sort of one-size-fits-all philosophy for everybody. Now in…

> collapse of fertility in developed nations My pet theory is that once societies stop enslaving women, enough choose not to bear children to skew the stats below replacement level.

Or maybe we've made life so expensive (in time or money, but "time is money") for people even before having kids that they don't want to or feel they can't take on the extra load of being parents.

Edit: this isn't a very different take from yours, TBH.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier?

#510

Post by ton618 »

chermi wrote: post #118
zdragnar wrote: post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As I heard someone say, happiness is your reality minus your expectations. Smart people see more variables that could be changed, more components that could be modified, and are less likely to accept things as they are. This creates a false sense of ease by which reality could be modified, and thus higher expectations for the world around them. I suspect this misplaces happiness and contentment, but the two are also…

I think smart people are told much more often as kids how bright of a future they have. So they build up expectations of "succeeding" in some sense (becoming a doctor, getting rich, etc.). These are the sort of expectations you mention in your quote. Not only is there often pressure put on you if you're smart, you adopt those expectations yourself. Or at least hold yourself to that standard. Of course, being smart do…

This is bloody true for myself. One of the main ingredients of unhappiness in my life is this false sense of expectation, because somewhere in my mind I have been told that I'm capable and I should be keep trying!
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