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Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

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Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#501

Post by wiz21c »

burntoutfire wrote: post #481
wiz21c wrote: post #431

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's actually engineering (data sciences orientation). It's going OK but requires a huge effort (I'm way above the age at which you can ingest so much maths). So I have to be careful not to burn out again. But the deal is different: I work for me, I'll most likely succeed (I've made it through most of the exams with very good gradeq; I'm on the thesis right now), I don't have a toxic boss. So it's not exactly like a…

If you don't mind me asking, what's your plan for after you get the degree?

Find a job :-) I still love computers :-) I may work in the research team that follows my thesis (got a strong offer); I'll do "basic" stuff but I understand they'll get an experienced colleague at the price of a student, so it's a bargain :-)

On my side, it'll mean start anew in an work environment I like, doing stuff where there's less customer management involved (so, for my personality, that means much less stress). I like customer relationship though, but not when it means: "tell the very unhappy customers that the crappy solution we sold them is the one they love (and explain that this budget overrun is under control)". I much prefer the relationship when it is : "ok customer, I think I understand your needs, let's imagine a solution together".

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#502

Post by burntoutfire »

wiz21c wrote: post #501
burntoutfire wrote: post #481

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you don't mind me asking, what's your plan for after you get the degree?

Find a job :-) I still love computers :-) I may work in the research team that follows my thesis (got a strong offer); I'll do "basic" stuff but I understand they'll get an experienced colleague at the price of a student, so it's a bargain :-) On my side, it'll mean start anew in an work environment I like, doing stuff where there's less customer management involved (so, for my personality, that means much less stres…

I've been in software engineering for 20 years and I don't think I've ever had to speak to an unhappy customer. That sounds like something that happens in small startups only (in larger orgs, devs should be fully insulated from this by product owners). In large orgs, often the problem is opposite - you're building something that no one really wants, so there are no interested customers to speak to.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#504

Post by randomsearch »

bboylen wrote: post #452
koonsolo wrote: post #304

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There were periods in my life when I was obsessed with productivity. I found out that I can do about 3 to 4 hours of highly concentrated work a day. On extreme days, I could pull off 6 hours of concentration. But I always paid back that time in the days after. Now I can't do those hours in 1 go, there need to be pauses in between. Spending 40 hours a week doing 15 to 20 hours of highly concentrated work seems reasona…

I think what you described is the case for the vast majority of people, I certainly feel the same for myself. I do believe in outliers however. Some people really do seem to just be wired differently. Problems can be caused though when average people take advice from the Elon Musks of the world and burn themselves out trying to work 90 hour weeks.

> I do believe in outliers however. Some people really do seem to just be wired differently.

This is covered in the links. Basic response: highly sceptical that is true. If it is true, then you'll find that if that person _also_ took care of themselves, they'd get even more done.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#505

Post by randomsearch »

koonsolo wrote: post #304
randomsearch wrote: post #291

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Stop doing overtime, and read this: https://www.7pace.com/blog/overtime-kills and http://blog.approache.com/2010/11/rules-of-productivity.html That was fascinating reading, thanks for sharing. This seems like absolutely crucial data for a startup. Rationally, these links imply that a startup should work 40 hour weeks. Intuitively I'm not entirely convinced, but I want to be. I work 50 hours minimum and have regular…

There were periods in my life when I was obsessed with productivity. I found out that I can do about 3 to 4 hours of highly concentrated work a day. On extreme days, I could pull off 6 hours of concentration. But I always paid back that time in the days after. Now I can't do those hours in 1 go, there need to be pauses in between. Spending 40 hours a week doing 15 to 20 hours of highly concentrated work seems reasona…

> Anyway, if you have more on the topic, I would love to hear it. Also, check out this video, which is also very informative and comes from a pretty reliable source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH1bewTg-P4

Thanks, that was a great watch. I note he doesn't make any recommendations about working hours though, just "do ensure you have enough time to do these things that help".

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#506

Post by heleninboodler »

dogline wrote: post #335
heleninboodler wrote: post #248

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, all you have to do is say "I took a year off to tend to personal family matters," and they should hear "none of your damn business" loud and clear or they don't understand boundaries, in which case they're disqualified from employing you.

You have to be careful with this one. "Family matters" can raise a flag if it's an ongoing issue. You're trying not to look like you're going to be a problem employee, as much as that should or shouldn't be a thing. I think the proper answer is "I just took some time off between jobs." Sounds fine, sounds like you took advantage of an opportunity, and doesn't sound like you're somebody that had a hard time finding a…

To be frank, if they infer "ongoing problem" out of a single data point like that, they fall into the "not qualified to employ me" bucket. One instance of "tending to family matters" doesn't really say anything beyond, "I have a family."

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#507

Post by throwaway2037 »

balaji1 wrote: post #458
throwaway2037 wrote: post #259

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree about feeling mentally refreshed, but I am normally knackered after travel because I don't stop moving when I travel (relaxing on a beach or beside a pool makes no sense to me). Most travel trips for me result in at least one minor epiphany about something I should be doing more or less of... Taking yourself out of a comfortable place to a new place can temporarily re-wire some neurons in your brain for more…

The current mode of travel for most people is trying to maximize trips. Find the best deal for flights, hotels, rental cars, etc. Then cramming all the "must see" spots while hopping Ubers and bars. It is hard to switch out of this mode. Tho I am not sure about how rich people vacation, ritualistic trips to the same "summer cabins" or "winter resorts".

You wrote: > Is that for you or other people? My point: I don't care about other people "relaxing" on a beach / poolside, stuffing themselves at the buffet. I never do it. When that type of person comes to ask for advice after my most recent holiday, I always tell them to go away (nicely, of course!). It is a waste of time to talk about being stuck in a bus terminal for 8 hours waiting for the next bus, but striking up a conversation with a local imam... and learning lots about the local community, culture, language, and food.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#509

Post by rramadass »

llllllllllll9 wrote: post #508
rramadass wrote: post #496

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No.

same story, different spin. but if it helps you ....

>same story, different spin.

Nope.

There is a reason i mentioned Deci's book; i highly recommend going through it. Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise by Anders Ericsson is also relevant here.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#510

Post by aristofun »

bricemo wrote: post #22

A few thoughts from a person who used to feel like this, and is now in their 30’s, having done everything from startups to big tech companies, and now feels super happy with their career: 1) great job for posting and seeking help! By doing so you’ve already taken the first step to moving in a better direction, which is more than a lot of people 2) A ton of people, myself included, felt like you are describing. Multip…

Just curious, by “a person” you mean yourself or someone specific? If so why did you use “they” pronoun?
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