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Without parental leave I might be dead

nytimes.com

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Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#501

Post by dang »

charcircuit wrote: post #490
dang wrote: post #230

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Flamewar comments will get you banned here. Personal attacks also will, and your comment crossed into that. Not cool. If you'd please review the site guidelines and stick to the rules, we'd appreciate it. Edit: you've posted a bunch of other flamebait and/or unsubstantive comments in this thread as well. Please stop doing that. It's not what HN is for, and it destroys what it is for. https://news.ycombinator.com/news…

I did not intend to personally attack anyone with my comment. I will try and avoid using words like you in the future which can be confused as meaning the parent as opposed to an arbitrary person.

Yes, that would be really helpful. Personal language (even just 'you', as you correctly point out) combined with pejorative language tends to land as personal attack, even if it wasn't intended. Since intent doesn't communicate itself over the internet, the burden is on the commenter to disambiguate (https://hn.algolia.com/?dateRange=all&page=0&prefix=false&so...). Avoiding personal language, except when you're sure you need it, is one excellent way to do that.

Thanks for replying so nicely - I know it's not pleasant to get a moderation scolding.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#502

Post by showerst »

foogazi wrote: post #469
showerst wrote: post #338

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> That's $2983 per month. Before taxes. That's in the area of 2400/mo after taxes [1]. My family of 3 pays around 600/mo for health insurance after employer subsidies, so call it 1800/mo. So after rent now you're living (with an infant!) on 800 a month. That's brutal. My newborn burns nearly that much just on formula, diapers, and life-critical medicine. [1] https://smartasset.com/taxes/paycheck-calculator#nNffey40fm

Do you make less than 35k a year ? ACA has subsidies for lower income households

Generally subsidies don’t apply if you’re getting an employer subsidy, and they drop off quickly as you rise over the poverty line.

I have no clue how the math works on average in terms of 35k jobs offering a subsidy at all, vs the marketplace subsidy. But even at a 50% subsidy it’s still not much money to raise a family on.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#503

Post by [deleted] »

hattmall wrote: post #243
lifeformed wrote: post #219

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You mean there's a choice?! Cool, I'd be happy if we simply just fixed all the massive, complex problems of the entire economy over just having parental leave.

Of course there's a choice, there's a singular reason for the rising cost of all those things. Government intervention and injecting money into those markets. Costs will rise to absorb availability of funds. Give people virtually unlimited finding for higher education?? Expect costs to rise at a similar rate. Force everyone to buy insurance through a rigid process and heavily subsidize the worst possible coverage. Ma…

[deleted]

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#504

Post by lotsofpulp »

hattmall wrote: post #243
lifeformed wrote: post #219

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You mean there's a choice?! Cool, I'd be happy if we simply just fixed all the massive, complex problems of the entire economy over just having parental leave.

Of course there's a choice, there's a singular reason for the rising cost of all those things. Government intervention and injecting money into those markets. Costs will rise to absorb availability of funds. Give people virtually unlimited finding for higher education?? Expect costs to rise at a similar rate. Force everyone to buy insurance through a rigid process and heavily subsidize the worst possible coverage. Ma…

> No surprise that daycare has raised the rate $30 per week.

It cannot possibly be riding expenses for daycare operators.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#505

Post by mrbonner »

I work for a FAANG and 11 years ago, there was no such thing as paternity leave. I ended up taking 2 weeks PTO vacation to help my wife and bought enough time to get her from my mom in law. Recently, the company gets more generous with paternity leave thanks to competition from other companies.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#506

Post by bagacrap »

mataug wrote: post #276

This is one of the reasons why I don't want to have kids in the US. - Paid parental leave is inadequate - Child care is obscenely expensive - Putting my child through a good school district might make me house-poor. - I'm not sure I can save my child from crippling Student debt without killing my retirement savings. - The looming climate disaster that my child might have to go through. Given all these factors, it doe…

really, how is student debt crippling? if you go to a state school and get a high earning stem degree you'll pay it off in no time, besides which the interest rates are really low. Sure if you go to Brown for a history degree with no scholarships and don't bother to take a part time job then you may find yourself up shit creek, but that's hardly behavior I want my tax dollars subsidizing.

But don't get me wrong, I'm all for you not having children. Fewer people is one way to solve our climate issues.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#507

Post by leetcrew »

desmosxxx wrote: post #484
foogazi wrote: post #457

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> people move further from home from work (losing direct family access), Sounds like personal choices to me

This is more than a personal choice, it's a reality of our economy and the social / economic mobility is a net positive. maybe some of this will change with wfh movement

what do you mean by that? the most common jobs (retail, food, medicine, construction, etc.) exist pretty much everywhere there's a critical mass of people living. you don't need to relocate to get the kinds of work most people do. the people that benefit most from relocating are specialists who already get paid above the median and/or want to follow their niche passion. good for them! but I'm not sure it's something that deserves to be subsidized further.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#508

Post by xibalba »

octokatt wrote: post #342
xibalba wrote: post #322

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> forcing women back into work This is not what happens. No one is being "forced" to do anything. Rather, free individuals (speaking from a U.S. centric viewpoint) make a choice to become pregnant and birth a child. It seems reasonable to me that the result of this private choice should not be the burden of others. Note that FMLA (again, U.S.-centric) grants unpaid leave. In other words, you can't be fired for certai…

With compassion, may I say the following: Some pregnancies are not planned. Some sex is not consensual. Unless we have free abortions available, people with uteruses are sometimes not free to decide not to be pregnant. The decision to support pregnant people is a decision to support the baby. At some point, everyone reading this was a pregnancy, everyone reading this was helpless. One of the core functions of society…

You’ve really bent over backwards to make this about rape, unplanned pregnancies, and abortion.

I don’t disagree about abortion, per se, but it’s a separate issue.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#509

Post by xibalba »

gambiting wrote: post #332
xibalba wrote: post #322

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> forcing women back into work This is not what happens. No one is being "forced" to do anything. Rather, free individuals (speaking from a U.S. centric viewpoint) make a choice to become pregnant and birth a child. It seems reasonable to me that the result of this private choice should not be the burden of others. Note that FMLA (again, U.S.-centric) grants unpaid leave. In other words, you can't be fired for certai…

>>I may be in the minority on this, but I find it really weird how people, more and more nowadays, believe the consequences private, personal choices should be borne by everyone else Starting or not starting a company is a completely private decision, yet we as a society have recognized that having entrepreneurs and a functional business culture is very important and actually profitable. So most governments, even the…

> So most governments, even the American ones, give grants and support to new companies to prop them up

To what grants, specifically, are you referring? As someone who is active in the business formation space in the U.S., I’d absolutely love to get some free capital.

Humans have been giving birth since the very beginning. The phenomenon of insisting companies fund child birth is a brand new idea. As in, only the last 30 or so years. Societies have arisen and persisted since long, long before then. How is it that all of humanity managed this long without paid family leave?

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#510

Post by xibalba »

saiya-jin wrote: post #333
xibalba wrote: post #322

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> forcing women back into work This is not what happens. No one is being "forced" to do anything. Rather, free individuals (speaking from a U.S. centric viewpoint) make a choice to become pregnant and birth a child. It seems reasonable to me that the result of this private choice should not be the burden of others. Note that FMLA (again, U.S.-centric) grants unpaid leave. In other words, you can't be fired for certai…

> It seems reasonable to me that the result of this private choice should not be the burden of others. Wow, clearly you are not a parent, and probably thats good for society. You know, parenting isn't a past time hobby of the privileged, but activity via which all of us came to existence. If we stop it, society, states and whole human civilization will collapse in 1 generation. Nobody paying for social/medical/police…

How long have human societies existed? How long has the concept of paid parental leave been around? Compare those two numbers.

> you are not a parent, and probably thats good for society

> old ass xibalba

You really undermine your credibility when you go ad hominem.

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