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Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

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Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#501

Post by collinmanderson »

noir_lord wrote: post #395
rachelandrew wrote: post #347

My daughter turns 20 this year. I learned Perl as a young, soon to be single, mother. I had no computer science background, I just wanted to learn to do more than the basic HTML I had already taught myself. That learning gave me a career. I've only ever done this with a child to take care of, and I've done it by simply working every possible moment I could, and being organised and focused with my time. However being…

The internet is such a small world, I watched one of your videos last week[1], you are an excellent conference speaker. [1] https://vimeo.com/133642780

I know her from all of her "A List Apart" articles.

https://alistapart.com/author/rachelandrew

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#502

Post by balabaster »

magic_beans wrote: post #500
balabaster wrote: post #495

Earlier quoted context omitted.

ODD: Oppositional Defiance Disorder The clinical symptoms are listed as: - Frequent temper tantrums - Excessive arguing with adults - Often questioning rules - Active defiance and refusal to comply with adult requests and rules - Deliberate attempts to annoy or upset people - Blaming others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior - Often being touchy or easily annoyed by others - Frequent anger and resentment - Mean a…

Wow. That sounds really, really challenging.

It is, but you do what you have to do to get through.

Realistically, everyone has their own shit to deal with and nobody really wants to be reminded that their own troubles aren't the most important things in the world - because to them, their troubles are the most important thing in their world. So you dig deep and you get on with things and hope you make it through before it spits you out of the other end a broken mess and you do the best you can with the resources you can dig up and you keep a smile on your face and keep everyone laughing because you don't want to be that guy that's always complaining about how their life sucks and the world owes them something.

Some days it's secretly really, really bleak. But other days it's openly beautiful and life couldn't be better. You have to try and focus on those days because they're the ones that pull you through the hard times.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#503

Post by QuantumGravy »

microsage wrote: post #218
royletron wrote: post #165

I do find this whole situation a tiny bit crazy, I often think software engineers are often taken for a complete ride by employers. We shouldn't have to feel like we each have to take responsibility to be up to scratch on the latest tools, we should be encouraged to factor that into our day to day work. I don't think this is a question you should ask yourself, but you should talk to your employer about. I don't see a…

I think this is a pretty distorted worldview. I'm confident most brick-layers would be happy to be taken for this kind of "complete ride by employers" in exchange for the cushy offices, offsite retreats, snacks, beer, endless perks, and $100k+ USD/yr salaries that software engineers tend to get in exchange.

Assuming that the average dev receives "cushy offices, offsite retreats, snacks, beer, endless perks, and $100k+ USD/yr salaries" is a distorted worldview unto itself.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#504

Post by randlet »

webmaven wrote: post #496
randlet wrote: post #477

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sorry but I don't believe you can look after your kid all day and work from home at the same time. It's not a matter of privilege, it's a matter of practicality. If you have a full time job, you need childcare whether you work in your home or out of it. I don't think that's particularly controversial. edit: If it lends any weight to my opinion, I guess I could also point out I work from home and that that despite you…

> If you have a full time job, you need childcare whether you work in your home or out of it. I don't think that's particularly controversial. The need isn't particularly controversial, the availability and affordability is.

I guess I'm not sure what your argument is then. Yes childcare can be tough to find and it can be very expensive depending on where you live, but if you're saying its okay to hold a full time remote job and care for your child at the same time, I guess we will have to agree to disagree. I dont' think that would be fair to your child or your employer.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#505

Post by fatherofone »

johnwheeler wrote: post #383

I'm 38 with three kids: 2 year old twins and a 5 year old. During that time, I've done a lot on my own, and I feel I've had more than enough time to accomplish more. I've taught myself Swift and Cocoa: https://github.com/johnwheeler/CocoaProgramming released open source frameworks: https://github.com/johnwheeler/flask-ask https://github.com/johnwheeler/flask-live-starter and have had plenty of time to pursue interest…

You're a legend !

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#506

Post by fatherofone »

ChicagoDave wrote: post #328

Honestly I think learning new technologies comes out of a passion for learning and has nothing to do with kids, wives, friends, social life, or work. I have five kids (all teens now) and have managed to keep up with technology throughout their early years and to today. There is all kind of parenting advice I could offer, but it all depends on how you personally wish to raise your kids. I'm old school. I think the mor…

Absolutely, I've got passion for cricket, no matter how tired, hungry I am i find time to play. But I don't code if I have free time, I'm too tired for that.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#507

Post by randlet »

randlet wrote: post #265
elcapitan wrote: post #225

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The reality of many people who work from home is that this is the case anyway - the children are around and make some noise, because they live. Making this transparent and show who the kid is I think makes it actually easier for the other people in the call to feel empathy. If that is unprofessional, then so is working from home, I guess.

I agree they make some noise, but having them in your lap during a conference call is over the line imo. If you have kids in the house then you need an office with a door. I've worked from home for 3 years now with 2 kids aged 0-5 and they understand that when the door is closed, Dad is at work and they don't come in.

I guess after today I should amend my original comment to specify that the door must have a lock too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5A1wg5FA-g

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#508

Post by [deleted] »

randlet wrote: post #265
elcapitan wrote: post #225

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The reality of many people who work from home is that this is the case anyway - the children are around and make some noise, because they live. Making this transparent and show who the kid is I think makes it actually easier for the other people in the call to feel empathy. If that is unprofessional, then so is working from home, I guess.

I agree they make some noise, but having them in your lap during a conference call is over the line imo. If you have kids in the house then you need an office with a door. I've worked from home for 3 years now with 2 kids aged 0-5 and they understand that when the door is closed, Dad is at work and they don't come in.

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#509

Post by elcapitan »

randlet wrote: post #507
randlet wrote: post #265

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree they make some noise, but having them in your lap during a conference call is over the line imo. If you have kids in the house then you need an office with a door. I've worked from home for 3 years now with 2 kids aged 0-5 and they understand that when the door is closed, Dad is at work and they don't come in.

I guess after today I should amend my original comment to specify that the door must have a lock too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5A1wg5FA-g

Haha just was going to post this in addition :D

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#510

Post by RyanBlk »

I have a very pregnant wife and 3 year old son.

Once you have children, your time management skills go through the roof. I should start off saying that I always put family time first and my hobbies second. The key is to have a solid routine that you follow. We try to get my son into bed by 8ish. I then will watch TV with the wife until around 9. From 9-midnight is my free time. Sometimes I watch another show with the wife, sometimes I am tired and go to sleep, but most of the time I am on the computer. I also have time during his nap on Saturday and Sunday. I will probably lose these 4 hours once my daughter is born.

I used to excessively play video games during this time before my son was born. Now I have been working on my roommate matching website https://www.roommatefilter.com . My priorities changed once my wife became pregnant. I wanted the best life possible for them and started getting productive with my time.

You quickly find out what's most important to you once you only have a few hours of free time a night. Most people have at least an hour a day to better themselves, but choose to engage in more enjoyable activities.

I tell people that don't have kids, having children will be both the most rewarding and hardest thing you will do.

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