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Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger

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Re: Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger

#51

Post by corobo »

beagle3 wrote: post #13
Flimm wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is my relationship with Facebook an abusive relationship? Only tongue-in-cheek.

Yes, it is. Maybe not physically abusive, but definitely emotionally and trust-ly abusive. You think you are in a relationship with facebook, but facebook is secretly also in a relationship with all kinds of three letter agencies, state actors and advertisers - and tells them everything you told facebook.

If you know it and can prove it, it's not a secret. Advertisers definitely not secretly, you can easily see what information advertisers see at facebook.com/ads

Facebook only knows what you are telling it, maybe don't announce your next bank robbery on your status update and you'll be alright

Re: Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger

#52

Post by socket0 »

orthoganol wrote: post #43

I find it hard to grasp why any intelligent individual who knows what goes on with Facebook would still voluntarily remain on Facebook. "Ah but the social ostracization!", seemingly the main reason why otherwise intelligent, informed people do stay on Facebook, just doesn't hold up anymore, as too many cool, socially active 20-somethings I know or are acquainted with have moved off of Facebook, mostly in last 1-2 yea…

I like to think that I'm "any intelligent individual", and I use Facebook. That's where some close friends and family are, and if I want to keep in contact with them, that's where I need to be.

I understand the nature of the data Facebook collects about me, and I understand what they would like to do with that data. They want to know who I am, what makes me tick, and use that knowledge to show me advertising I'm more likely to click on. They also want to draw me into their walled garden by promising me shiny things if I stay. It doesn't really work, because I see the same middle of the road content and advertising shown to my friends and family.

I also share my location on Messenger, although the friends and family I chat to might or might not be interested in where I am. I don't chat to strangers, or even "strangers". And if I'm somewhere people don't need to know about, I don't share my location. These are things we teach children about using the Net, or should be. Adults should be able to figure this out themselves.

And I explain the difference between myself and my devices to people; when Facebook tells them I'm at home, that's where my phone or tablet or desktop PC is connecting from. I might be there, I might be away, I might not even be awake.

The technology lies, and sometimes so do I.

Re: Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger

#53

Post by philh »

orthoganol wrote: post #43

I find it hard to grasp why any intelligent individual who knows what goes on with Facebook would still voluntarily remain on Facebook. "Ah but the social ostracization!", seemingly the main reason why otherwise intelligent, informed people do stay on Facebook, just doesn't hold up anymore, as too many cool, socially active 20-somethings I know or are acquainted with have moved off of Facebook, mostly in last 1-2 yea…

It's not necessarily about gossip and judgment. Consider two different kinds of friendship groups. There are small, close-knit ones, where everyone is friends with everyone, and everyone wants Alice to be there. And there are large, loose ones, where if Alice doesn't show up, nobody might even notice.

In the first case, if Alice isn't on facebook, they might make plans on facebook and someone will say "cool, I'll let Alice know". In the second case, they might make plans on facebook and nobody will think to do that. Her closer friends might - but her closer friends might not even be going, and that doesn't mean she doesn't want to go.

Re: Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger

#55

Post by butwhy »

praseodym wrote: post #38
butwhy wrote: post #16

Feature request: auto-click-on every conversation you've had in messenger when you navigate to /messages so you don't need to do it manually. Considering it doesn't persist past a reload...

There's a setting in Messenger to disable it for all chats. And on iOS, just disable location services for Messenger.

I don't think you understand my comment. I don't want to disable it.

Re: Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger

#56

Post by darklajid »

orthoganol wrote: post #43

I find it hard to grasp why any intelligent individual who knows what goes on with Facebook would still voluntarily remain on Facebook. "Ah but the social ostracization!", seemingly the main reason why otherwise intelligent, informed people do stay on Facebook, just doesn't hold up anymore, as too many cool, socially active 20-somethings I know or are acquainted with have moved off of Facebook, mostly in last 1-2 yea…

That's a rather harsh argument and we could (not trying to derail this) proceed and say the same thing about people that use Google products, Twitter, WhatsApp, 'the cloud' etc. - and in the end we'll finally agree with Stallman.

I don't have a Facebook account and have to admit that I never truly understood the benefit, the appeal. It seemed full of ads, games, random pictures and without structure - i.e. you might read about people ranting about the current soccer game (I hate that), but miss an important update from a close friend.

Plus, as soon as email isn't a suitable format to exchange information, I have the impression that the communication is either too broad (shout to the public) or trivial (one liners about nonsense). I don't get it.

I DO get the network effect though. So while I agree with you that the 'why' might be hard to grasp, I don't like the stab at people's intellect. It doesn't matter if an individual is intelligent or not - not using a service that all your peers decided on using is hard.

Your last line about being severely judged by friends especially doesn't sit well with me.

For one, people might not judge you - they just might communicate less with you, forget you at times (because you're the one person that needs a mail or a text message or whatever).

And then there's the ridiculous 'find different friends' part. Seriously…

Re: Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger

#57

Post by mc808 »

corobo wrote: post #49
learnstats2 wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"I just passed landmark X and I'm on foot" is often more helpful.

Or maybe "Here's my GPS coords and current speed". Facebook Messenger should add direction and speed information!

It would also be helpful if they could notify the recipient when my digestive system is below 10% capacity, so they would know that I'm likely to stop for a bite to eat (and maybe suggest a good restaurant nearby if Facebook hasn't done so already).

Re: Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger

#58

Post by tolt »

personlurking wrote: post #23
dmak wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While I do agree with being able to make small lies, but why would you tell someone whose waiting for you that you are 5 minutes away if you are clearly not. Maybe it's just me, but when someone says 5 minutes, I don't expect 10, 15, or 30. I expect 5 minutes. This is especially true in Asian cultures.

One of the worst offenders is Brazil. When living there, it was common to hear "I'm on my way" (to an agreed meeting point at a specific time) but that could mean they actually are on their way or that they've just got up from the couch and will go take a shower, choose what to wear, maybe have a bite to eat and then think about transportation. Knowing this, the trick was either to not take specific times seriously o…

As a norwegian living in Peru I used the same methods. I started to tell my peruvian friends that we were meeting at a resturant instead of a street corner. Different cultures have different understanding of time.

Re: Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger

#59

Post by [deleted] »

orthoganol wrote: post #43

I find it hard to grasp why any intelligent individual who knows what goes on with Facebook would still voluntarily remain on Facebook. "Ah but the social ostracization!", seemingly the main reason why otherwise intelligent, informed people do stay on Facebook, just doesn't hold up anymore, as too many cool, socially active 20-somethings I know or are acquainted with have moved off of Facebook, mostly in last 1-2 yea…

[deleted]

Re: Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger

#60

Post by smokinn »

corobo wrote: post #49
learnstats2 wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"I just passed landmark X and I'm on foot" is often more helpful.

Or maybe "Here's my GPS coords and current speed". Facebook Messenger should add direction and speed information!

Glympse does this: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glympse.an...
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