HN Help: I'm lost

I don't post much on Hacker News but on this one I must. Happiness is not found in money, job, or having a successful startup. Men, on their deathbeds never wish they had worked more or made more money, but they do wish they had spent more time on what is really important: family and their children. You say you barely see your children. I suggest choosing a job or position that allows you to see your wife and children a lot more and cutting your expenses drastically if that would help. I'm sure with your reputation you won't have trouble finding remote contract gigs that would allow you to work at home.

I'll separate this next thought from the previous because I think you can take the previous suggestion will still work good in your life without taking the next suggestion, although they work best in combination.

Take some time to look at nature and your body. Ask yourself if it takes more faith to believe that it all happened by chance or to believe that there is a God that designed it all and created it. I'm not going to try to say anything else to try to convince since I know the HN crowd and I know no amount of debate will accomplish anything.

I hear in you a hungry heart for something to meet the deepest desire of your heart. I believe we were created by God and for Him and until we find Him we will never be satisfied. Being the owner of Google, Facebook, or anything does not satisfy that need. Having a wonderful wife and great kids doesn't. Having a challenging and interesting job won't do it. Money definitely won't -- look at the depravity you see in some of the world's richest people.

You ask "Where should I turn?". My answer: if what I have said rings true at all in your heart, turn to Jesus. Start by reading the Gospel of John in the Bible. Turn to your Creator to find the answers as to why you were created. He is real, and He is very interested in meeting the deepest desires of your heart.

And whether you take my advice or not, I truly hope you find answers to your questions.

I understand your concerns as I did a 'big quit' last year.

Now I'd like to have a following point, assuming you live in the US: You are very lucky as your country makes it very easy to grow your own business. I live in the EU in some post-communist country and believe me, there's lot of bureaucracy you have to deal with, which distracts you from achieving your goals. I know from some friends in the US that there such things are really near-to-zero when compared to ours. It's not about my political views or the economic situation at the moment, it's about how law is constructed in a particular country (and law changes quite slowly).

So, we do the biz on our own. Surely you can do it as well living in a system which makes it easier.

Good luck! :-)

"You ask "Where should I turn?". My answer: if what I have said rings true at all in your heart, turn to Jesus"

May I suggest the Flying Sphagetti Monster instead? Just as valid as some "man in the sky" mythology, from a "turn to X" point of view.

Please, take your religious preaching elsewhere and don't prey on someone's confusion/depression, at least on this forum.

Thanks in advance.

first thing is to stop ruminating. even if your mind wants to. even if it feels like that is the best way out of this situation. so stop now. don't look for explanations, don't try to understand. that would make it worse. the answers are not in what we accomplish, or in what we think we need to do or be (great doctor vs. lowly coder) - all dangerous fabrications.

watch this video: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1424079446171087119..., it's only :45 or so.

read these - take the day off and read them if you need to:

http://www.amazon.com/Full-Catastrophe-Living-Wisdom-Illness...

http://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Way-through-Depression-Unhappi...

Seems really easy- you have a great reputation on here and are apparently an extremely accomplished programmer. You have no mortgage to pay, so your expenses aren't too bad, though if you have kids you probably want to start saving for their college. If you're not putting much into savings then your finances are either totally fucked or you just aren't being paid accordingly to your experience level.

Just post under your real account that you're looking for contract work, line some stuff up at a high per hour rate, save for a few months, and then quit your job.

The real question is if you think your experience is really that good- this is anonymous so there's nothing for anyone to go off of. If you have a great reputation here then this road has already been paved for you, comment by comment.

There's nothing wrong with cashing in on reputation :)